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This is a sampling of my favorite jokes...and ones that you send to me that I like. If you have a joke, email it to me and if I like it then I'll copy into here :}

So the professor gets up and says to all the class, "The girls' dormitarys are out of bound to the men and the men's dormitarys are out of bounds to the women. Those caught where they shouldn't be will have to pay a fine. The first offense is $20, the second $80 and the third is $180, is that understood."
One of the guys sitting in the class asks the question, "so how much is a season pass?"

What do you have when there are 30 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

Not enough lawyers!!!

A man walks into a restaurant with a full grown ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their order. The man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?" "I'll have the same" says the ostrich.
   A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $6.40 please," and the man reached into his pocket and pulsls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says. "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and the ostrich says , "I'll have the same." Once again the man reached into his pocket and pays the exact change.
   This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so I want a steak, baked potato and salad," says the man. "Same for me," says the ostrich.
   A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says, "That will be $12.62." Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitredd can't hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket everytime?"
   "Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found this old lamp.When I rubbed it a Genie apeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I could just put my hand in my pocket, and the right amount of money would always be there."
   "That's brillent!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
   "That's right! Whether its a gallon of milk, ot a Rolls Royce, the exact amounf will always be there," says the man. The waitress asks, "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?"
   The man sighs and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who would always agree with everything I say!"

contributed by Mary Hendricksen

Polly the parrot didn't look well, and the vet confirmed it. "I'm very sorry," the vet told the owner, "I'm afraid your bird doesn't have long to live."
"Oh, no," wailed the owner. "Are you sure?"
The vet left the room and returned with a big black Labrador, who sniffed the bird from top to bottom, then shock his head. Next the vet brought in a cat. He too sniffed the parrot and sadly shook his head.
"Your bird is definitely terminal," said the vet, handing the owner a bill.
"Wait-$500! Just to tell me the my bird is dying?"
The vet shrugged. "If you'd taken my word for it the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab report and the Cat scan..."

from Reader's Digest

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