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January 17, 1996
Dear Journal, I was haunted by a beautiful dream last night. Something about it filled me with a strange glow of agonizing lonliness, hopeless devotion and perpetual melancholy. Oddly, the dream was refreshing, horribly vivid, and concise. I recollect sitting in a room, it was plain, white and a disturbingly grim aura hung about. I sat in a white chair, others were in the room as well; discussing sciences. The room came to be known as, 'The Logic Room.' I found myself interrupting a conversation about Metaphysics. The stiff, pale, young man peered at me. He was talking about 'The Unified Space' theory and concluded that Human beings having the capability to develop Extra-sensory perception as impossible. He described how so-called evidence of phenomenas,such as the man who dreams of disasters before they happen and predictions being confirmed, were hoaxes or odd coincidences. I don't know why, but I heard my muffled voice speak to the listening crowd. "How do you know this isn't possible? Anything is possible, just because we can't logically prove something, doesn't mean it's fallacious." The crowd gazed at me for a moment and refocused on another person speaking, as if I hadn't spoke a word. The room was suffocating, it was unexplainable. Logic couldn't escape this room and idiom couldn't enter. Why was such a place suffocating to me? I am usually an advocater of Logic and Reason. Perhaps totally eradicating the possibility of extra-ordinary things occuring was simply gloomy and depressing. I found myself trying to escape the room, but I couldn't find a way out. The voices spilling logic was driving me to an eerie sense of delusion. I started seeing them all talking to me at once, inching closer to me. They were bland, but the words they spoke attacked me swiftly and stingingly. I ran towards an inaccessable door which was painted on the wall. A guy with long hair and glasses popped up next to me laughing maniacally, spitting out theories of laser fusion, pseudo-science, and anything in between Quantum physics and Black holes. It was terrorfying looking at him speak, his head flailed about as if disparted from his body and the words were as incomprehendable as Edward Leedskalnin's 'Electromagnetic Fields.' His head stopped moving when it jerked back and his mouth opened widely. I was starteled. The talking in the room became diluted and a high pitched siren screamed from his gaping mouth. I looked at him, he was motionless but the sounds continued. I felt a sudden, unnoticable alteration in the room. I wondered what it was, nothing was out of place. The gaping mouth, the siren, and the diluted conversation remained as a normality. Without warning, I seen the long-haired guy's mouth open a little bit more and from his mouth a tremendous force came about; a vaccuum. I felt my heart racing, I couldn't hear anything except for the siren and the incredible air-movement around me. I was sucked in, and started traveling at unexplainable speeds through a strange, brightly lit tunnel where numerous activities were taking place all around me. I assumed faster than the speed of light. I finally came to an abrupt stop. This was like a cartoon, nothing seemed real. At the end of the tunnel, stood a form. The form was painted in a color never seen before by human eyes. I stood frightened, as a small child in a dark forest faintly beckoning his parents. It spoke, a sound never heard by human ears, "Hello, Do not be afraid." Its words were consoling and I began to feel at ease. "Who are you?" My voice scratched. "Who do you think I am?" I blurted out, "God?" "God? Yes." He insisted, "as You've been familiar with." "What do you mean?" I was confused. "I am known to many as God, but that's not what I am." "What are you then?" "I am the universal force." "I am sorry, but I don't understand." It chuckled. "I am the force of consciousness that makes it possible for you and every other living form to exist, concieve, and to die. But I only exist as a force." I tried to understand, "You're a higher power?" "Perhaps, but not neccessarily." I interrupted, "then I suppose you're not who people call God." "I am. but I only exist as a force, You must not allow human perception of religion to deter you from believing." "Oh, great, you want me to worship you and live a moral life?" It laughed, "No, morality is fabricated by humans and they've used me (God) or what they perceive me as, to enstill fear into others to make them comply to their structure of morality and I would never expect another force to worship me." "That makes sense." I replied. "What do you do? If you're just a force?" "I certainly don't watch over everyone from a palace in the sky and I would never judge anyone's fate; whether it be torture or paradise." "Is there an afterlife?" "In a sense, yes, but as it's been established in the human mind, No." "What do you mean, in a sense?" "I will explain this briefly, but only once: Every living structure is a force, it's comprised of electricity." "Wait, so, we're just electricity?" "Allow me to finish. The force of consciousness, being the force that I am, as people call God, amalgamate electricity and mass, which as a result a nucleus is formed. Your brain gives off electricity, because it's comprised of electricity, in suttle amounts. When the electricity is expelled, it no longer holds the mass, it then is released into the Universe and your body dies, but the electricity never will, it will only recollect as another force." "Reincarnation!? Like the Buddhists?." "In a sense, yes. But the Religious aspects suggest if you don't fulfill life, you repeat it, perhaps in a lesser form. The electricity that allows you to function would never reorganize in the structure that would reform a brain that would have the ability to remember a past life." "I see, so when the brain dies, you die?" "Yes, because the force has been skewed and expelled." "Ok. I guess I understand." "You understanding isn't why you're fabricating this in your dreams." I felt my stomach tense up. "I am here, obviously because you believe in the possibility of phenomena and extra-ordinary occurrences. I come, bearing a message. Tell the people, tell them that religion provides a false image of what they believe is God. Tell them..." I woke up here, because the voice was getting louder, and my alarm clock was going off. What was it going to say? I had a blurry recollection of the dream, other things were happening that I remember vaugly. The dream had it's blurry moments, but many of it was horribly vivid, as if I was meant to see it. Maybe what it said was true, or relatively true. I wish I had more time to understand. But I felt as understanding it completely wasn't suppose to be. I've come to the conclusion, that it's good to imagine, and to believe. Hope is good. I don't believe in the Christian God, I don't even believe in the Universal Force. What I do believe, is that now, I am going to look at everything from multipile perspectives, that I am going to question logic as well as religion. I believe we as civilizations have procured fallacious knowledge. I think there should not be in existence organized religion. Because it's HIGHLY unlikely, each one of those people thought out in their minds and distinguished the differences between what they believe is true or false and all came to the same conclusion. People, I say unto you, dispart from your text religions, it's mind-suppressing. Everyone in the world should have their own religion, it's inexcusable and utterly disgusting to think so many people have been brainwashed into believing what others have devised. Be yourself, think for yourself, develop your own religion through what you truely believe and do not allow yourself to be manipulated by an organized religion. I beg of thee, think not like the existing book, think for yourself and become your own book.
Email comments, questions, threats, E-anthrax etc. to [email protected]