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Posted by DurfBarian on 04-07-2002 11:34 AM:

What should Durf do?

...Knees creaking slightly from the long hours of waiting, BigBadBobBart leaped from his hiding place onto the trail, right in the path of Durf and his funny looking horse.

"I'VE GOT YOU NOW YOU PRETTYBOY!!!" He bellowed and began unloading his pistol in Durf Banyon's direction. Durf had just moments to react before BigBadBrokendownBartBob found his mark...what would he do??!!??

Durf should . . . Please answer poll and continue story below!

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Posted by Still_in_hike_school on 04-07-2002 11:41 AM:

song fo' shizzle my nizzle

__________________
Chris Farley: that Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ace....i know from experience dude, if u know what i mean....

Adam Sandler: No you dont....

Chris Farley: Well not me personally, but this guy i know, him and her GOT IT ON...WOOOHEEEEE

Adam Sandler: No they didnt....

Chris Farley: no, no, no they didnt, but you can imagine what it would have been like if they did...huh...huh

Posted by kban09 on 04-07-2002 11:42 AM:

keep in mind we can't retreat in a leftish direction


*letterbox spits, mennacingly*

*letterbox stands its ground, menacingly*

*letterboxmenaces, menacingly*

*kban09 gives the letterbox the finger*

__________________
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

It does not require a broad education to function as a social and economic animal...as long as you know when to rub blue mud into your bellybutton.

Posted by BasTyra on 04-07-2002 11:54 AM:

*screams to Durf*

Don't you get shot honey!! Dang!!
Fill him full of lead!!!
Or better yet, do that crazy horse belly trick you showed me last month!!
Just don't get shot, I plan on rewarding you well good after you save me!!

*spits a wad of tobacco at BigBaldyBarts face, aiming for his eyes*
 

__________________
"I pity the slga" - PsychoFreak

"I'm seeing e's" - Madman

http://membres.lycos.fr/phallusphincter/Waldo.html

Posted by DurfBarian on 04-07-2002 11:55 AM:

If there's one thing Durf NEVER does it's turn left. He's agin' it.

Perhaps this explains why Durf has never been able to find his way out of the Arizona Territory.

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Posted by BigBadBob on 04-07-2002 11:56 AM:

BigBadBobBart cursed and wiped the tobbacco juice from his eyes, giving Durf a few crucial seconds to view the results of his poll and take action...

__________________
"The tender mercies of the wicked are cruel."

-Proverbs 12:10b

Posted by kban09 on 04-07-2002 12:02 PM:

*letterbox raises its head at the word "poll", menacingly*

*letterbox beckons towards something, menacingly*

*kban09 shouts warning at Durf*
We can't retreat to the right anymore! It's been cut off by that poll. A rabid telephone pole.

*random midget lectures letterbox on the subtleties of the english language*

*letterbox maims random midget, menacingly.

cast your silly votes, people! Before I have to bring the mime back in this show, menacingly

__________________
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

It does not require a broad education to function as a social and economic animal...as long as you know when to rub blue mud into your bellybutton.

Posted by tibanglander on 04-07-2002 12:02 PM:

"ninnyheiyoumoronswhovotedoptiontwoninnyheiy" (holy crap! who voted option two? my god! i'm male too. you're sick! you're all sick!!!!)

*proceeds to try and throw off durf and trample the bastard to death*

__________________
24 hours in a day,
24 beers in a case.
Coincidence?

Posted by DurfBarian on 04-07-2002 12:47 PM:

Ouch. Damn Pinoy horse. After all this is over I'm selling your traitorous four-legged self to the glue factory.

The world seemed to slow down for Durf as he decided which option to choose . . .

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Posted by PsychoFreak on 04-07-2002 02:01 PM:

Ah, so you have to turn right 270º to turn left 90º?

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"I never noticed how stupid the word "Pert" really looked until I actually typed it."
- m00se

Posted by DurfBarian on 04-07-2002 02:06 PM:

Precisely. I plan out most of my trips ahead of time in LOGO.

What ever should I do???

* gazes worriedly at oncoming bullets *
* hopes he can avoid Bob's halitosis *

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Posted by PsychoFreak on 04-07-2002 02:30 PM:

*PsychoFreak tears off his suit and reveals he is really SUPERMAN!!! only without the tights, and with his underpants in the right place. He then proceeds to grab the bullets out of the air, kick Furd in the groin, use his freezing breath on BigBadBobBart freezing his mouth so he can't breathe his bad breath, and do some other stuff to make everyone else feel pain.*
Did I say superman? I meant... uh... super... me...?

__________________
"I never noticed how stupid the word "Pert" really looked until I actually typed it."
- m00se

Posted by Dutchman on 04-07-2002 02:32 PM:

From out of the blue rushes Dutchman on his electric beer rocket. Incapacitating Bart with with his hangover breath of doom he turns to watch Durf's feeble attempts to deflect the hail of gunfire.

On second thought, to free himself of involvement and collapse on the sofa he throws himself heroically in front of the bullets.

Struck down like a underwater match he gasps out his last breath to the remaining adventurer.............

...........
..........
...........
............

avenge me, raid the rothchild estate

Dutch

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WTF is Chinese downhill? - Kamikaze

Posted by PsychoFreak on 04-07-2002 03:08 PM:

*PsychoFreak taps Dutch on the shoulder and says "hey man i stopped all the bad stuff happening" then realises he hit his pressure point*
*He then gets hit by that damn letterbox*

__________________
"I never noticed how stupid the word "Pert" really looked until I actually typed it."
- m00se

Posted by BasTyra on 04-07-2002 03:12 PM:

*glances at the oncoming train*

On second thought, Durf Banyon should hurry the fuck up and save my arse..

*squeals like a girly girl*

__________________
"I pity the slga" - PsychoFreak

"I'm seeing e's" - Madman

http://membres.lycos.fr/phallusphincter/Waldo.html

Posted by DurfBarian on 04-07-2002 03:56 PM:

quote:

---

Originally posted by BasTyra
On second thought, Durf Banyon should hurry the fuck up and save my arse..

---

Time to end this. And since the song is in the lead in the poll . . .

* cue washboard, harmonica *

Well I rode all night on the dusty trail,
just to save some chick tied to a rail.
In my quest for her breasts I must not fail,
or tobacco spitwads will fall like hail!

(spoken) That BasTyra's a right mean spitshooter, I c'n tell ya that fer free.

Yup I once was down but now I'm fine.
That injun medicine flowed like wine.
And PsychoFreak hit by that post of pine
made me laugh so hard that now I'm cryin'!

(spoken) Them's tears of joy, friend, not tobaccy juice like'n Bob's got in his peepers.

Oh BigBadbob and that bastard Freet,
they thought their plan was plenty neat.
But they forgot about Pistol Pete
and his Pinoy pony with wheels for feet!

(spoken) Betcha didn't know about them wheels, pardner.

(Banjo and twangy mouth-harp solo)

In the nick of time, from the jaws of doom
Durf saved his gal 'fore the train went BOOM!
And while they checked in to their hotel room
the villains were left in their Fruit-o-the-Loom.

(spoken) Their britches got blasted clean off!

Well the tale is told and the battle won,
and Durf and Bas're gonna have their fun.
But somewhere out there in the blazin' sun
ride Freet and Bob, livin' by the gun!

--FIN--

* credits roll *

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Posted by PsychoFreak on 04-07-2002 04:04 PM:

I can't be bothered reading that. Did I win?

__________________
"I never noticed how stupid the word "Pert" really looked until I actually typed it."
- m00se

Posted by DurfBarian on 04-07-2002 04:06 PM:

quote:

---

Originally posted by PsychoFreak
I can't be bothered reading that. Did I win?

---

Your head has been smashed to bits by nonmoving objects. So basically, yes.

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Posted by PsychoFreak on 04-07-2002 04:09 PM:

Woohoo! Now to pay for a plastic surgeon.

__________________
"I never noticed how stupid the word "Pert" really looked until I actually typed it."
- m00se

Posted by BasTyra on 04-07-2002 04:10 PM:

*swoon*





Durf, that was beautiful! hehe

*saves this thread too*

__________________
"I pity the slga" - PsychoFreak

"I'm seeing e's" - Madman

http://membres.lycos.fr/phallusphincter/Waldo.html

Posted by tibanglander on 04-07-2002 04:25 PM:

don't i get a reward? c'mon, bas. you can ride me all night *wink*.

__________________
24 hours in a day,
24 beers in a case.
Coincidence?

Posted by BigBadBob on 04-07-2002 06:40 PM:

And so, the thwarted BigBadBobBart and the evil Freet are left shaking their fists as Durf and Bas ride off into the sunset(or at least, the nearest holiday inn).

__________________
"The tender mercies of the wicked are cruel."

-Proverbs 12:10b

Posted by BigBadBob on 04-07-2002 06:54 PM:

CREDITS

"Meanwhile, back at the Ranch"

CAST

Durf Banyon- Durfbarian
Lil' Miss Bastyra- Bastyra
The Evil Freet- Freet
BigBadBobBart- BigBadBob
The guy with the knife- Amra
Miss Makitty- LadyMak
Train repair guy- Lord Helmet
Water guy- Radhruin
The Gal with the Horse- Anyee
Card Players- The Lioness, Khalic, Kaneda
Midget Warrior- Kban09
Watch guy- Farmdog
Mysterious Drifter- Xavier Hungwell
Durf's Stallion- Tibanglander
Marshall Dutchman- Dutchman
Deputy Fester- Krauseman (Director's cut only)
Mime- Andras
Homicidal Letterbox- Stitifier

And introducing...

PsychoFreak as The Psycho Kidd

CREW

Screenplay- No-one would own up to it
Music- Kaneda,Durfbarian
Cinematography- Joe the Deadly
Wardrobe/Costumes- Ozzymandias
Produced by- Bong Water Carbonated drinks, inc, and Scorpion Candy inc
Executive Producer- Freet
Director- You've gotta be kidding

***AN OT FORUMS PRODUCTION***

No animals were harmed during the making of this production. Except the lizard Bob stood on, he was pretty well ****ed.

__________________
"The tender mercies of the wicked are cruel."

-Proverbs 12:10b