1/21/05

My Blizzard of '05 Prediction

It appears as though a major snowstorm will hit the northeast, so the media whores especially at the Weather Channel will forget there IS an America west of the East Coast. Chances of this forgetfulness are 60% with this incredible East Coast Ego sticking around for 2-3 days, according to forcasters.

But on a more serious note, here's my official forcast for New England and the Mid Atlantic:

1/14/05

Prince Harry is a funny guy

What's all the hoopla over this Nazi crap. I thought it was funny and congrats to Harry for thinking of the idea. Everybody is overreacting because it wasn't PC enough. Screw them. It's sad that we can't joke and make fun of Nazis because of the out of control political correctness. Well I hear he's off to Auschwitz to learn about the Holocaust. Whatev.

1/1/05

2004 really sucked

I guess it's time to start updating this page more. Anyway this past year completely sucked, good ridance to 2004 I say! Bush didn't appoint any cool people to his cabinet, the Red Sox won the World Series, Ronald Reagan died, and a tsunami killed hundreds of thousands of people. Because I am all knowing, I will predict the major events of 2005. First of all, I am predicting an assassination attempt during Bush's innaugaration. He'll go to the hospital but survive, like Ronald Reagan 20 years ago. As we move into the Spring, we'll start up the draft. Right on time for my birthday! woot! And then the Yankees will tear through the MLB winning 120 games and the WS behind our new ace Randy Johnson which will completely make up for being drafted and sent over to Iraq. Oh yeah, and there will be talks of secession in the blue states, which will cause us to finally pull out of Iraq. Sounds fun!

11/5/04

Election over. Lots of stuff that went under the radar.

Now that Bush won his second term, I'm looking forward as to whom he will appoint to his cabinet. It's looking like Ashcroft is gone, and perhaps Powell and Rumsfield. I'd like to see Montanan Marc Racicot (pronounced Roscoe) and Giuliani appointed, myself. I was pulling for a Badnarik victory, but to see a libertarian type guy like Racicot appointed is great. If you don't know about him, he was Montana's best governor who won 95% of the vote. He also headed the RNC and worked to get Bush reelected. He is one of staunchest defenders of gay rights, while also supporting the legalization of marijuana and other drugs. He's also pro choice. At the same time he makes Bush look like a Socialist, since Racicot supports privatizing Social Security and abolishing the IRS. Giuliani is also good, even if he isn't a libertarian thinker. He's moderate and a true hero.

As happy as I am to see Kerry lose, I'm sad that Badnarik couldn't get a million votes. :/ Well, he came close to Nader. Nader had 390,000 votes, Badnarik had 370,000 with zilch media coverage. Oh well.

And finally, the state of Montana voted to legalize marijuana in a landslide 2-1 ratio. Now we have some of the most lax marijuana laws. Montanans, unlike Christian Southerners and Liberal Yankees, know that only the individual owns his body. Only he can make decisions about his body and how he will spend his money. Not the government. Viva la Revolution!

And BTW, I'll have the Badnarik signs taken down eventually, since he lost. I still wish fiscal conservatives would wake the hell up, but whatever. The signs stay for now, until I decide to stop being lazy. I need to go find a new ad to put up.

10/28/04

Well, lots have happened over the past month

And lots will happen next Tuesday. No school (w00t!). But less importantly, we will elect yet another Republocrat to the Presidency. As South Park put it, time to chose between a giagantic douche and a turd sandwitch. If given the choice between Bush and Kerry I suppose I'd go for Bush, but he is still a turd sandwitch. Of course, lots of weird stuff HAS happened over the past month. The Sox won the World Series and shocked my boys in the ALCS to win the World Series. That made me want to vomit. But whatever, the Sox fans deserve it. The players deserve it. The Yankees didn't. But fortunately there's next season, and the Yankees are sure to enter the 2005 season stacked with talent as always. If the Red Sox can win the World Series, then MICHAEL BADNARIK CAN WIN THE PRESIDENCY. Yeah!

9/21/04

Internet filters at schools are unconstitutional

Why do they even exist? It's the teacher's responsibility to watch us to see what we're looking at. On my lunch period I think I should be able to go to my favorite non pornographic 100% appropriate websites, like gamefaqs.com, yankees.com, etc. It doesn't even let me go to nypost.com, which is rediculous. Whatever.

This election is stupid

THERE WILL BE NO ISSUES DISCUSSED THIS ELECTION! HAHAHAHA! FIND TEH MEMOS!!! ATTACK THE OPPONENT'S MILITARY RECORD! AS IF IT IS A GOOD THING TO HAVE MILITARY FIGURES RUNNING THE GOVERNMENT! Damn I'm sick of these morons Bush and Kerry. I ran accross this website by the URL of johnkerryisadouchebagbutimvotingforhimanyway.com. The sad thing is that it actually exists. People are just voting for the lesser of two evils, while they SHOULD be voting Libertarian. Too bad most voters are total morons.

9/13/04

The world ends tomorrow!

Comrad Kerry says that America will be unsafe because of the ban. And then he blaims Bush for letting the ban expire. My head is about to explode. A) The ban is stupid, and B) Bush supported renewing the bad (more evidence of his lack of conservative ideas). This ban is a stupid idea for all the reasons discussed whenever we have a gun control debate. Criminals steal guns, smuggle them into America, buy them on the black market, etc. I'm not going to regurgitate my opinion on the matter because it would be pointless. What I am pissed off about though is how Kerry is using the issue to take cheap shots at Bush. Whatever, I guess it doesn't matter since Bush is also for the ban, but Kerry's bashing of Bush still irks me. Bush couldn't have renewed the ban if he wanted to (which he did), because Congress was against it. Whatever.

9/9/04

We're here, we're queer, and we're voting Libertarian

was the message as the Pink Pistols officially endorsed Michael Badnarik for president. They are called the Pink Pistols for a reason. They feel, and I feel, that in order to have a society where gays can feel equal and unoppressed, they must be able to defend themselves. All accross America, particularly in the South, gays are killed for their sexuality. They need to be able to carry a concealed gun to protect themselves. It's the only way. Maybe the Democrats who supposedly support "gay rights" can wake the **** up.

9/7/04

Islamofascists must be identified for what they are

As new pictures come out, revieling the horrors those kids went through in that Russian school, the media continues to say Islam is the religion of peace. If that's true, then the Muslim leaders need to step up and denounce these terrorist attacks. They never do. In America, we get a watered down, America capitalism loving, reformed type of Islam. The hard core Muslims stay in the Middle East. What the media doesn't tell you is that the majority of Saudi Arabians supported the 9/11 terrorist attacks. No other religion breeds the terrorists Islam does. I feel sorry for the American Muslims who have to put up with these leaders of Islam in the Middle East. Too bad the liberal PC media will never pick it up. And this is coming from an atheist, BTW.

And on a lighter note!

What do you think about people who claim to give more than 100% to their job? Is that possible? Isn't 100% pretty much all you have? Actually, NO! It isn't. It is possible to give more than 100%, and the I am here to show you how.

First we have to come up with the mathematical formula. To do this you take every letter of the alphabet and assign it a sequential number. A=1, B=2, and so forth. Z will equal 26.

Now ... let's do some addition.

HARD WORK. Add up the values of the letters. Hard Work equals a 98% effort.

KNOWLEDGE. Here we have a 96% effort.

ATTITUDE = 100%. Yes, there's your proof. Attitude is everything.

BULLSHIT. Uh oh. Now we're getting somewhere. Here you get 103% effort. and ...

ASS KISSING. Yes, my friends. Kiss the right butts and you get 118% effort.

So, one can then conclude with mathematical certainty that: While Hard work and knowledge will get you close, And, Attitude will get you there, Bullshit and Ass kissing will put you over the top.

9/2/04

Gotta love Lord Zell!

Zell Miller said what no politician dare say: John Kerry is an ultra liberal hippy sissy! If America is attacked again, we need a strong military. OK, I might disagree with Bush on some security matters. I think we need to realign our troops back home and only wage war when we are attacked, or an attack is imminant. However John Kerry would wage even more wars than Bush. Clinton did. He invaded foreign nations just to take the attention off his purjury. Kerry would essentially make the US the bitch of the United Nations. They want us to attack a nation completely not involved in our security, he will do it! Meanwhile, the terrorists will strike again, and we will be defenseless. Obviously Badnarik's plan of having a streamlined military, ready to pounce on the real terrorists, is the best way to go. We need strong border control. However, if it comes down to Bush and Kerry, I would chose Bush in a heartbeat! Our government's purpose is to stand up to terrorists, not do the UN's dirty work, GOD DAMNIT!

On a side note, I think we need more politicians like Zell Miller, who speak their minds. That is why I like the way Howard Dean and Theresa Hienz Kerry present themselves. They aren't PC. Although I certainly don't agree with their political ideas.

9/1/04

Arnold! What were you thinking!

HE IS TEH SEXXIST LOL!!!! OMG OMG "GIRLIE MEN" IS HOMOPHOB1C AND SEXXISTSS!

Well it's time to wait and see if the media responds in a similar fasion. I'm really sick of this political correctness. The media loves to rip apart famous figures, and who better than Arnold? Well I'm rambling. What's more important is that he is a good speaker, surprisingly. I have to agree that Bush is not pulled around by public opinion. He does what he thinks is best, even if he may be wrong (Iraq, No Child Left Behind, etc). I admire that. Kerry is the opposite. He is a tool. He is so much politician, most Americans pick up on this. He is such a good politician, it will end up hurting him. But alas, I ramble. And I'll ramble some more. Rambling must be done!

OK, time to stop masturbating over the RNC

Time to focus on Hurricane Frances! Our friends in Florida appear they will be struck yet again. I just don't know why hords of old people go down there. They are essentially exchanging a few inches of snow for a few huge hurricanes! Bad move, guys! Oh well, you still can't feel sorry for them... I even drew out a map, illustrating the point of pwnage. Doesn't look good.

8/31/04

Go Rudy Go!

John Kerry=done. Baleeted, no more, zilch. This race won't even be close. Bush will pick up roughly 10 percentage points on Kerry and blow him out. It's Reagan vs Mondale all over again. Anyone who watched the first night of the RNC saw how it managed to reach out to moderates while showing what a shame Kerry really is. Make no mistake, I wasn't for this Iraq war. However, Kerry's position on the war is worse. First, he would have us suck the balls of Europe to get them to go along with the war, THEN he would send thousands of our troops to get slaughtered, while the Europeans laugh "hahaha stupid Americans." At least Bush has the balls to stand up for what he believes in, despite some hippy European country bitching about it. I'm sick of hippies.

8/30/04

Live from New York, it's the RNC!!!!!!!!!

Starring Michael Bloomberg, George Pataki, John McKain, Rudy Giuliani, Dick Cheney, and George W. Bush. My boy Rudy speaks at 7:45 tonight. While I don't agree with his position on the War in Iraq, he's still one of the few standup politicians out there, and he's looking out for us. I'm hopefull that this convention will help displace Democratic machine in New York. I'm really looking forward to that. I'm also looking forward to see how much the polls change in Bush's favor. It will be a fun convention, New Yawk style baby! Or something...

8/28/04

Country bumpkins, hippies, and gays, oh my!

Go home! You guys don't belong! Nothing is more aggravating than some hick from Alabama wondering "WHERE IS TEH WOFFLES HOUSE OMG LOL DERRRRSH! ALLS TEHY GOT R THESE YANKEE STARBUX LOL DERRRSH!" The Republican delegates are fine with me, they are just doing their jobs. However some of them hail from states like Alabama and West Virginia, so they bring all their hillbilly friends and family with them. Quite frankly I'm sick of hearing "WHERES TEH WOFFLE HOUSE WHERE AH KAHN GIT MAH GRITS?" I don't even live in New York, and I'm already sick of it. I was around the Tri State Area (NY, NJ, and CT, for the New York n00blars) recently visiting family, and we overheard some yockle at a Diner in Manhattan bitching to his wife about how they didn't have these so called "grits." WELL! I did some research, and I found out that "grits" were made of ground up pig intestens. Redneck alert! And he thought our "yankee" food was bad. Ugh. What's worse is the rediculous amounts of protestors. They march naked around Madison Square Garden and whine when they are told to put on some clothes. They come by the millions, I tell you! Damn them! New York is suppose to look safe and nice for the 2012 Olympics, and the protestors (mostly Californians and other assorted hippies) screw it up! Thanks alot, media whores!

8/26/04

Bush attourney resigns for no reason

Bush campaign attourney Bejamin Ginsberg resigned, citing his being a distraction. The Democrats will continue to smear Bush over the Swift Boat Veteren dealio until this guy resigns, then they will MAYBE take it down a notch. But probably not. The fact is Ginsberg resigned for no reason at all. He is afraid of being a distraction. The Bush campaign should step up to the plate and tell Kerry's Communists to stop spreading lies. Of course, there's always a good chance the Swifties are lying as well, but Kerry's allegations that they are backed by Bush is most likely a lie. In fact Kerry seems a little too worried over the attack ads. Maybe he wasn't the great, patriotic American he led us to believe? Well Bush is no better, since he's pushing for a ban on all "soft money" ads, even if they tell the total truth.

8/25/04

Janet Jackson's boob-Weapon of Mass Distraction

Uhh, wtf? I think the real problem here is that Janet used her boob to take the attention off of her child molesting brother. She even gave a clever name to the situation (or scandal according to her...) "Nipplegate"! LOL! You can't make up better stuff than that!

Cheney comes out in favor of gay marriage

The devil himself (according to some liberals) is against the Constitutional Amendment. Such an amendment is an incredible disgrace to both our Constitution and the one out of ten Americans who are gay. What will it look like to our future generations when they see "Amendment XXVIII: Marriage is defined as a man and a woman". I mean, WTF is that?

8/24/04

Bush is against the First Amendment! Unbelievable!

It's official. Bush is a fascist. Straight from the presses, Bush vows to fight third party political ads. Apparently Kerry's constant PMS has affected Bush. Now he is denouncing the Swift Boat Veterens ad. Not only is he denouncing it, but he wants all "soft money" ads to be made illegal. So now I guess it is official. Freedom of speach no longer exists. If somebody wants to express an opinion, they should be able to. Third party ads are crucial to American democracy. In fact the whole purpose of that pesky First Amendment is to allow us to EXRESS OUR OPINIONS. Putting limits on our opinions is wrong, and that is essentially what Bush is doing. And this, my friends, is why we need the second amendment. So we can defend ourselves from dumbass fascists like Bush and Kerry.