03/12/02 [Tuesday]

Fifty cents a pack ! Smokers of the world unite...

Mikey doesn't smoke. How do I know? Mikey is in trouble. 180 million bags of peanuts are missing from the governor's mansion. What happened? Did Mikey buy some Enron stock with our money. No, but Mikey has a plan. He has a good plan. He wants to slap your lungs, like a guy who is slapping some eggs at the local diner. I assume you are a smoker. Why should you pay another fifty cents per pack so that Mikey can balance the budget? Why? It's a very good question.

If Mikey is a god-fearing person, then he should be fair. If he wants to slap you in the face then he should slap everybody, even himself. Every time, his wife travels out of state , there should be a ten percent tax. Every time, he uses some kind of a funny cream to make his hair look like a wig, then he should pay the state, a buck fifty. And what about all those drunk drivers and shoe lace smokers. Shouldn't they pay something to help balance our budget?

Yesterday was Crouch Day. Big deal? It would have been if they had been able to beat the @#%! out of Miami. But they didn't and I am not buying it. If we were the champions, like Mr. Mercury said... then I would have no problem with 2002 being a 'Crouch Year'... And as always, the CU's Boys will lose in the first round. I hope you are not surprised. And what about the gals? I hope they win. I wouldn't mind learning a trick or two from one of them...

So what's the name of our convention center? Nobody knows... and Buffet isn't thinking of wasting Brka's insurance premiums on some building, is he? And I hope the convention center is not named "GEICO".... or Dairy Queen or Nebraska Furniture Mart Convention Center or something like that.

if you think I am a @#$!... then please send me an email @ [email protected]