A Grandmother's Tears

As a grandmother all I can do is sit, watch, cry and pray that God will safely protect my children.

WHY THE TEARS?
I see a granddaughter in a home where Domestic Violence  is present. But since there is NO proof of PHYSICAL abuse done to my granddaughter my hands are tied and the system will not step in at this time. Private lawyers are tied for as there has to be proof of child endangerment, unfitness of the parents, or any of the necessary "laws" that will allow them to step in and take it to court.

But why does one have to wait till there is physical pain when the emotional ones are the ones that are everlasting.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE is REAL
It don't just start with physcial abuse. There are signs, hidden ones, but ones that are very real.

Abuse--
there is hope, there is help.

Is someone you care for hurting you?

                            Love Shouldn't Hurt...
Physical, emotional, and mental violence from someone with whom you share and intimate relationship is called DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. Some examples of these relationships are; husband/wife, parent/child, boyfriend/girlfriend, and couples who live together but are not married, or who have lived together in the past.
Domestic violence is wrong, and it is a crime. NO one has the right to abuse another person. NO one deserves to be abused! Abuse is never the fault of the victim!


When violence begins in a relationship, the onset and progression may look like this:
* emotional abuse, including name calling, lying, vicious put-downs, manipulation, estrangement from friends and family
* violent threats, including threats against the person, her parents,   her pets, her friends
* breaking/throwing things
* pushing, shoving, restraining
* slapping, hitting with closed fist, kicking
* hitting with objects, use of weapons, rape

There is usually a cycle to the abuse:
* Growing tension: The growing tension (he's getting angry, complaining about what YOU did to make him angry or to upset him) (she's walking on eggs, trying her best to please him-to get him to calm down)

* Explosion of violence: He explodes and becomes violent physically, mentally, or both

* Honeymoon Stage: After the abuse the abuser will make such claims as "I'm sorry", "I'll never do it again" "I just did it because I was "crazy jealous over you", "high", "drunk", "stress out", "mad". (He never says, "I was wrong_it was not your fault", "I need help", "I will get the help I need", "I committed a crime"

An important thing to remember is that the longer the abuse goes on the worse things get. The cycle goes at a faster and faster pace, the level of violence gets more and more extreme, more and more life threatening. It will not stop when you get married.

REMEMBER: The victim cannot stop the abuser from abusing-only HE can stop his violent behavior.


Remember, LOVE shouldn't hurt!

1-800-799-SAFE (7233)  or
1-800-787-3224 (TDD)

A Candle in the Darkness
An online support group for woman living with or have lived with Domestic Violence.

Vistor #

since 27 May 2000