Poodles
Inspired by, based on but not quite stolen from Frank Zappa's Poodle Lecture.
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| Well done, you've reached Poodles |
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| In the beginning God made light. Shortly thereafter God made three big mistakes. The first big mistake was man, the senond was called wo-man and the third big mistake was the invention of the poodle. The reason that the poodle is such a big mistake is because God originally wanted to build a Schnauzer, but he messed up. Well being a mistake wasn't the only problem the poodle had, you see not that long ago the poodle was a normal, quite attractive looking dog with hair evenly distributed across it's small, canine type body. That's right the poodle used to look normal, I mean if they were out walking other dogs would look at them and not think anything of it. But then something happened. | |||||
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| As you probbably know the wo-man has always been much smarter than the man, it's true, and so it was since the beginning of time. Also the man would do almost anything to get in to the wo-mans pants. So the wo-man looked the man directly into the eye and said: "I tell you what, why don't you go get a job because I could use a few nice things around the house. Mainly what I need is some clippers, some scissors, and a pair of tweezers". Of course the man did what he was told. He went out and he got a job, and brought his money back to the wo-man. The wo-man ran out the door, went directly to the hardware store, got the clippers, the scissors and the tweezers and came back and, while the man was sleeping, the wo-man got a hold of a poodle. Now she took the dog and she cleaned it up a little bit, she removed some of the poor poodles hair. She took a little bit of the back-part, some from around the neck, a bit the thorax, and some from the tootsies. She ruined the distribution of the poodles hair, and from that day on poodles were laughed at by other dogs. The wo-man made the poodle a laughing stock. Inspired by, based on but not quite stolen from Frank Zappa's Poodle Lecture. |
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