"Turmoil"

by Lianne Olive Hennig

I think I’ll give up on the world.
I think I’ll rely on me.
That’s the only solution
To worry that I can see.

People let you down and
Life can prove too hard
If you depend on others to
Help cultivate your “yard.”

I think I’ll find my strength inside;
I think I’ll live alone.
I think I’ll have a piece of “meat,”
Instead of “gnaw the bone.”

Oh, I can’t really live without people
But I do need some respite!
I need to fortify myself or else
I’ll lose the fight.

Please, go away and leave me till
The urge to want you rises.
Let me heal in private like
My inner self advises.

Fish too much from the river and
Soon there’s not much left...
Wait till I regrow the soul
Of which I seem bereft.

Oh, give me the strength to stand alone,
Quell my urge to need...
Give me pride to squash the moan, and
Stop the ease with which I bleed.

Give me the will to only give and
Never want to take.
Make the life within me live and
Stop me feeling fake.

Oh, you!  Leave me be…
I need respite - why can’t you see?
Don’t touch me, don’t make me want,
Don’t talk to me - because I can’t…

Leave me alone, just go away…
Don’t stay and make my nerve ends fray.
I'm disappointed, then I’m angry - just let me scream and rant...
Don’t talk, I won’t listen...  I’m sick of listening to your cant.

Go away, leave me in peace,
Give me time to make the “insane” cease.
I feel like ripping off my arms; I feel like tearing out my hair.
I know what death is like, in life, ‘cause I’ve been there.

I hate myself, so let me be
Or soon I might hate you
For trespassing my privacy
While I try to cool my “stew.”

No, people aren’t reliable -
I should only rely on me.
Relationships are friable
As far as I can see.