I talked to a friend about success recently.  It made me think about it a lot afterwards. 
What is success?  

Why is it that people who have been successful don't stay satisfied with their record, that they just have to keep achieving, and to keep notching up one better?  And, when that's not happening, for one reason or another, they feel worthless or devalued... 
Surely that can't be good. 

I have a dream, of finishing writing my novel, of getting it published and bought, and of it spurring on a series of novels, so that I become a bestselling writer.
Wouldn't that be nice?  

But life has held me back in recent years, with Sean's tragedy, our legal battles, and my health problems. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever finish it, or if I'll die first.  

Right now, I could easily feel devalued, because I don't feel I am 'achieving' much, and certainly not  progressing much on the path to my aspirations.  But, looking at my record,
there is so much I have already done in my life, so many things achieved.  I have made my marks on the world already in notable ways among my community. 

My portrait sketches of people are 'out there' - I've had people I didn't really know
come up to me and say they owned a sketch by me. 

The theatre group I founded ran for over ten years, and has come back to life, after a brief sleep, last I heard.  

The business Kurt and I established, and sold after a decade, is still going strong... 

So, there have been things that have made pretty lasting marks. 
Then there were the marks I made on the way to something else...
I was a teenage athlete who was as good as some of those  who went on to be Olympians, once.  I trained with two of them.  My asthma, and problems with my knee and feet stopped an ambition to be up there with them. 

I've mixed with great actors on films and in television, like Sam Neill, Sigrid Thornton,
Jack Thompson, and Meryl Streep, and there were those who said I could have been 'up' there, too.  I let my loyalty to my husband and children hold me back from what was
promising to be a career.  I made them my priority instead. 

Since Sean's accident, and till Kylie came along, I've been Sean's Carer, advocate, physical therapist, etc.  

I've always been good at whatever I've turned my focus to.  Whether that was writing, drawing, acting, or even my astrology...
 

There've been people in my life who have tried to impose their views on me, that unless I was actually  achieving something all the time, and unless I had a working title for myself,
I was not doing anything, and was worthless.  Ultimately, I don't believe that.  But it does rattle you.  There are more to people than one job, one title, one slot.  

There are so many ways we make our mark in the world,  and I feel that to constantly focus on the future and what could be, and to not appreciate the past and the present,
and what is, is a bad way to be living life. 

In the end, we make our marks not in the monuments and achievements we strew behind us, but  in the hearts of those who remember us.  

What good is it to have had a string of novels but never have been really loved by anyone? What worth is that life?
 
I truly believe it is the interconnection we have with all of life, and with others, that is the measurement of success.  Are we worthy individuals on an inner level? 

Success, as most people see it, is not really a single achievement.  It is not even a string of achievements.  It is a series of peaks and valleys, of ups and downs, of light and shadow.  Sometimes, we spend a bit longer on the valley floor because the air is so much easier to breathe down there.  And what's wrong with that? 

I have really successful relatives.  I had an uncle who had an RAAF base named after him:  Sir Frederick Scherger.  Big deal. So what if he was rich and famous, a war hero and a one time manager of Australian Airlines?  He never had any connection with my life at all.  I remember my Nanna with far more affection and honour and, according to those who judge success, she was not successful in her life.  But ask anyone who came into contact with her and they'll tell you of her powerful presence, of the effect she had on those around her, of the things she was to so many people, and of how she came to be known as an 'artist of life.'  I think these things are no less worthy than what marked my uncle out among the crowd.  Most likely, it was to his close family and friends that my uncle made the greatest impact with his life, too.  For what did fame get him but further rungs on the ladder? 

Most people want to climb that ladder, too.  They want to be successful, to be rich, to be noted in some way.  Me, too.  My friend, too.  And my uncle was a worthy individual,  even if I didn't get to know him, I'm sure. But if all success and making your mark on the world does is to inspire other people to try to attain the same positions, then is that good? 

To me, success must have a purpose, first and foremost.  My uncle didn't set out to be a war hero, etc.  He worked his way up, doing what he wanted to do, personally... expressing his nature and his character with the full force of what it could be. 
The success followed on that.  It wasn't necessarily his aim. 

If being 'successful' means inspiring people to find  the strength of character and its expression in themselves, then that is a far greater achievement than just inspiring envy of the position.  If we are envious of others who are successful, or feel worthless because we haven't achieved the pinnacle of success we aspire to, then we should question our terms for success.  

The most ordinary person, like my grandmother, can be the most successful, simply by living their life as best as they can and by relating to others in positive ways. 

If 'success' comes with a price, and that price is the sacrifice of enjoying life, then the price is far too high.  We should question if that is really success at all.

I can't do much about my own aspirations at present.  There are limitations to my life
I just have to live with.  But, if I died tomorrow, I don't think I would see myself as unsuccessful.  As a person, I think I've been very successful.  And I've appreciated every moment of my life, and made sure I always took time out to enjoy it.
Life is a gift, and a gift unused is a gift devalued. 

So, no matter what our aspirations and ambitions, let's always remember to be thankful for what is given, and to return some to the cycle of life.