Barinal waited at the Edge.  It was always difficult, this part, the leaving of the Collective and the feeling of separation.  It didn't matter that it was all an illusion and that the links were always there, intact.  There was almost a feeling of pain.  It made no difference how many times One went through the experience.  It was always the same, perhaps because the Transition made it all appear so real and the energy continuum of the event was so powerful that One became caught up in it, and felt lost.

 Tender vibrations swelled behind, gently pushing forward, urging One onward. 

"Not yet," thought Barinal, "A moment more."

The thrill of love and it's joy, it's ecstasy and bliss, washed over and under, and in.  It was always so hard letting go.

 "Do you doubt, Barinal?" asked the Collective.

"No, I know the Truth."

"Do you fear?"

"There is nothing to fear."

"Do you disintegrate?"

Barinal thought on this, sought inward and analysed.  "No, I am whole.  I am One.  It is well."

The Collective nodded and sighed.  Disintegration was not an end but its Chaos lacked focus.  No work could be done in that state.  No unified progress could be made for Chaos was precessive to Concept.  It was an enabling stage for Creativity wherein turbulent disarrangement could form new patterns and new cohesion, but it was a backward step from the Inception.  It could mean that Barinal had not continued satisfactorily through the Cycle, through Consolidation and Quiescence to Activity.  It was not a failure but it would have been a disappointment, not for the Quintessential Collective but for Barinal's Self.  In the state of Inception, One could feel such emotion.  Emotions were parcelled with the Transition and were inherent in the Corporeal Manifest.

No, Chaos followed Cessation and Barinal had already been through that phase.  There was no need as yet to return to it, though many did before the Cycle was complete.  Poised on the Edge, they felt unable to continue and returned into Chaos to reform, and to begin again from the point of Cessation.  This was the order of things.  One should be in Balance within Oneself to go forward.  Each stage must have its Balance.  Where Balance was not, the seeds of Chaos began and though it was possible to enter the Physical while it germinated within, eventually the Soul disintegrated, unable to fulfil its obligations and creating havoc around it before it returned into Chaos through Cessation.

Not that this state of imbalance wasn't also put to good use.  Nothing in the Revealed was ever lost or misused.  Chaos, even in the Corporeal Manifest, allowed creative process.  Those influenced by its effects learned much and, in learning, formed new aspects to themselves.  So, the generative flux endured.

The Collective understood the nature of Chaos and, even if Barinal had begun to disintegrate, the choice to go on or return would have been that of One Self.  The Collective urged only reflection, to enable correct decision.  The outcome of that decision would be judged later, when One Self could see more clearly where the consequences had led.  It was part of the Education.

Barinal was not disintegrating, however.  Transitional detachment was illusory and the ring of the Collective was unbreaking.  So, One was simply 'feeling.'  Yes, that was it.  Waiting on the Edge with countless others, gestating, and experiencing the pull of Individuality, Barinal had simply 'felt' the love of the Collective, its wholeness and completion, its Balance, and in 'feeling' had paused to savour the moment.

Sensation belonged to the Material and only at this instant, when One hovered in the Limbo between Truth and Delusion, could One's Self understand the Gift of Life and of Spirit so fully.  Each Transition allowed this opportunity to 'feel' the burgeoning zest of it and to contemplate the divergent experience of Nothingness, which forms in the hiatus between Chaos and Creativity, when there seems to be no purpose to all One's frenzied activity, and Life appears flat and stagnating.

"It is Time to go, Barinal."

Time, Sequence, this is the Life of the Revealed.  Always two sides, in Balance: The Revealed and the Occult.  Only in the Occult is there no Time; only in that unilateral existence.  In the Revealed, One comes, and One goes; in the Occult, One is.  Each phase exists simultaneously.  So, Barinal would be Revealed in the Corporeal and follow the path of Time, growing, learning, processing; and One's Self would exist in the Occult, watching understanding, experiencing, and feeling. 

Barinal remembered.  In the Corporeal, it was hard to remember, hard to experience the Truth.  The Delusion was all.  This was necessary to make the experience more poignant, to enable real understanding but, in doing so, One felt cut off, isolated and alone.  It was not enough to know that One was surrounded by others in the same situation.  Barinal had spent innumerable lives exploring similar themes, blindly yearning for the Collective and not fully understanding, until Cessation, what that really meant.  Eventually, One had stopped seeking; at least, not on an active level.  An intuitive connection had finally grown between the Corporeal brain and One's Soul, allowing Spirit to spark glimpses of the Truth.  Barinal had begun to accept the Corporeal Lot and to try to make the most of it, and understood that the Collective was always with One - that the aim was not to return but to implicate the Collective in everything One did and to remind others of their connection to each other by living physical life with as much joy as one could muster, despite adversity, and by taking all experience as a challenge.

This had made a huge difference to Barinal's experiences in the last few Corporeal incarnations.  Instead of feeling isolated from the Collective, Barinal had begun to be outcast by fellow incarnates.  One's ideas were unacceptable and too unusual.  One had developed strange abilities; abilities which Barinal knew were always there, if One only remembered the Truth, for the Corporeal was an Illusion and Illusion could be manipulated.  Of course, while incarnate, Barinal had not understood exactly what was happening.  It was only upon Cessation that all had become clear.  Through glimpsing the Truth, One had opened pathways to manipulating Illusion.  When One knows the Truth, One sees what Illusion really is and can use it to One's advantage.  One is no longer, or not always, deluded by it.  Barinal was still exploring the ethics of tampering with Corporeal Illusion when the whelm came to Incept again.

Now, waiting on the Edge, One could 'feel' the Time swelling, 'see' the lovers uniting, and 'watch' the sperm race swimming gently toward the softly floating egg.  Excitement began to take hold of One.  What would this incarnation hold?  Always, it was the right event, exactly what Barinal needed.  A flow of meaning permeated all Experience.  Every incarnation held something which enhanced the Collective.  Each One incarnated for the All.

What would be the circumstances of One's Corporeal life?  What segment of the Time-line would One incarnate upon?  The Future?  The Past?  A familiar life, or one never before experienced?  Barinal saw the winning sperm begin to connect, the two genetic parts of One's physical body combining, the sperm's head breaking through the outer barrier to lodge within the egg - and then, the wonder, the spark, the Light of Lights bursting from Creation, drawing One into the Temple; and Barinal became One with the fertilised egg, drifting effortlessly through the Conceiver's fallopian tube.  When the womb loomed close, Barinal used all effort to lodge against its luscious wall.  There had been times when the delight of Transition made One forget to do so until it was too late - and it was quite a shock to find One Self back at Cessation before One had fully incarnated.

Barinal's Corporeal germination nestled in the mellow, thrumming darkness of the Conceiver's womb, titillated by the sounds of the physical world without, and sharing the emotions of One's receiver.  Barinal heard her say, "That was the best orgasm I ever had.  It was so deep inside me, I felt in touch with Heaven!"

Barinal smiled.  "And so you were," One thought, "And so you are..."