- Lets dance with us!!! - Some man shout out.
- No, thanks, - I answered. I did not feel like dancing or having some fun. The great sadness sized me.
- Ok, but you will join us anyway; otherwise the road would not take you here.
- Where I am? - I did not notice something special around; the same park, the same trees, and people around the bonfires.
- You are in our Heaven! And you are very welcome! - He smiled with the strange smile, that made me a bit scared.
All people looked very happy but in my mind I had an idea that I never expected the Heaven to be like this. Their faces were beautiful; the dance was spelling me over, the music coming from nowhere was taking my grief away and waking up the desires.
- Hi beauty! - Some voice said. I closed my eyes. The voice was divine, deep, velvet, and the sweetest voice I ever heard. I turned back.� The naked man was staying next to me. His beauty was un-earthly. He put his hands on my waist and said:
- I was waiting for you and I knew - you would come onse. Let's go with me my, one and only! I will gift you the world, the sky, the stars everything will belong to you. You will be my queen and this people will be your slaves as they are mine.
I turned to the people they were looking at me with the hatred.
- But why should they be the slaves? I do not want it! I want everyone to be happy in our Heaven! I do not want someone to hate me! - I replied.�
- Here everyone hates. Come with me I will show you something, - he said.�
We came to some huge mirror. He waved his hand and the pictures started to appear. That was the war, I saw the people possessed by anger. They were killing each other; they were killing the children and the old people. I closed my eyes and my heart shuddered.
- Stop it! Stop it!!! - I shouted.
- Why? I thought you like the death. - His green eyes burst in to the fire. The people started to laugh. - Darling, you wanted to bury your love alive. Don't you think it was better to kill it? Don't you think it was better to stop it forever? I will help you, we will go together to the cemetery and we will finish with it. Just remember how much pain it brought to you and the anger will size you. Just think on how much it made you to suffer and the doubts will be borned. Can you count how much tears you dropped?
- No, that was not my love what made me to suffer. - I became very brave. - That was the fear, the doubts, and the anger itself.� Was it your job to wake them up?
- Of course, darling! It is only me who can give you the real pleasure, the real world, the real feelings. I wanted you to be here and I just helped a bit. But the choice was yours and the wish was yours.
- And the mistake was mine. - I said with the sorrow, the things started to clear up. - I want to go.
- What? - He started to laugh. -� Look there! - He waved his hand again and the picture in the mirror hurt me.� I saw my beloved kissing some woman, I saw the passion in their eyes, and I saw the hands that were arming me: that hands were sliding over the woman's body.
- I do not believe you!!! - I did not expect this words to come out, but I understood what was the truth and what was the lie. And I understood what brought me here.
- You don't? Listen darling we can stop it all should you wish. Hate him! He is worth of being hate! Hate everything what was between you two, as that was the lie! In that case you will kill your love with no doubts and your hand would not even shake! He just wanted to set the experiment. And you were no more and no less then the toy in his hands! "Why not try?" he thought, believe me, he was not thinking of you all the time.�Do not listen to your heart, do not listen to your mind, listen only to your instincts.
- I do not believe you! I love him. - I said. - I want him to be happy and even your power cannot change it!
- Take her! - He shouted. And the people surrounded me; they put me in to the chains.
- That is the way you want to make me frightened? - I asked and smile.
- No darling, that is just the beginning, you will refuse from your love, be sure, you will do it. You - human beings are very weak, you are giving up after the first pain.
- No way!
That was really just the beginning. They were setting me on fire for a long and they tried all the ways. I had no more strength but still was putting up resistance. I was not scared for more. I knew that I love, and that I am on the right way. I was thinking a lot about my feeling I left at the cemetery. I knew she will forgive me, I knew that I needed to go through this all for to see the real things, for to find the real values, for to have no more fears.�So, instead of my love I refused from Hell of the doubts. They gaved up soon and through me out after some ages passed...
I was walking back to I do not know where. My soul was cleaned and I felt happy. The sun was shining and worming me up after the ages of coldness. I came to some field. And I stopped for to breath the smell of lavender, the smell of my love... I could not stop the tears jumping down from my eyelashes. I could not, and I did not want. That was the revelation. The leafs of the olive trees were trembling form the slight wind.
- Want to join me? - Asked the old man. He was sitting at the bank of the river and fishing.
- Yes with pleasure. - I was happy to meet somebody on my way.
- From where are you going? - He asked
- I just returned from the Hell.
- Oh, really? Was it scary there?
- Yes, but not so scary comparing to what was before, I was worth of being there.
- I see.
- Where are you going now?
- I am searching my love... I handed over her. I do not know if she can forgive me after all. I left her at the moment she really needed my help and my support but I was too selfish for to go through the test.That is why I went through the bigger test - through the Hell. - I became silent. During one second I remembered everything. I could not get why I did all I have done? Why I had the doubts? Why I jumped aside and became frightened? What made me to feel so? What??? What could make me mistaken so much and so rude?�
- She will. - The men stand up and looked aside. - But tell me are you sure? Are you sure now?
- Yes, I am. - I hanged my head feeling the shame for all I have done.
I do not know from where she appeared. I knew that was she, though it was hard to recognize her. From the crying child she turned to a beautiful, confident woman. I looked at her and understood that there is no power in this world that could be able to break her.
- Forgive me, forgive me please - I was whispering this words like the magic incantation. And the wonder happened - she forgiven me and returned back. The faith and the hope came together with her. That moment I understood how strong my love is. I understood that there is only one life and we have to value each day of it, each gift it gives to us. I understood that everything is conventional in this world and these conventions can become the reason of the doubts and fears, that we have to listen only to ourselves even if the whole humanity is saying that we are wrong.
I was walking back to the world of people. I knew there is one I love... I had no more fears on whatever can happen and no more doubts. I knew - that is my way. I was carrying the great power in my heart and I knew that I would never refuse from it whatever the tests can be. I was walking back breathing the miraculous smell of lavender...
Patrick
