Chapter 7
�Did the Athrinians kill one of your people?� Kathryn asked carefully.
�They have murdered my husband for trying to stop them from raping me,� La�Ariya nodded, clasping her hands together in an attempt to control the trembling that threatened to overtake her body at the influx of painful memories.
Kathryn�s eyes widened in horror. �They what?�
�Your doctor did not tell you?� Seeing her shake her head, La�Ariya sighed. �I take it Sedaar did not have time to violate you yet, and the good doctor decided to spare you the unnecessary worry.�
�Spare me? You mean�?� Janeway gasped, as the complete significance of La�Ariya�s words hit her. She seemed so shaken that the Atarri stepped up to her and placed her hand reassuringly on her shoulder.
�All the women that get into the hands of the Athrinians receive the same treatment,� La�Ariya whispered with a sad smile. �You were fortunate that your people found you in time. I was not so lucky.� The emerald green of her eyes clouded with pain at the horrors from her past, and her voice became almost inaudible. �After a while, I could not take it anymore. I � I thought I would be better off dead than having to endure his � his�,� she broke off, looking away from her.
It was Kathryn�s turn to comfort, and she covered La�Ariya�s hand with her own, squeezing it gently. �I�m sorry. I�m so sorry.�
La�Ariya squeezed her eyes shut, letting the tiny silvery drops of tears roll down her tender cheeks. �If your Commander had not burst into the room when he did, I would have killed myself,� she said simply. �I would have been buried in some hole on Athrin, and my family and my friends never would have known what happened to me. Instead, I was able to rejoin my people, and I can now avenge both my husband and myself. I owe all that to your Commander. That is why I want to help.�
Kathryn nodded absently. Her mind was racing, bombarded with a host of cruel disheartening thoughts. La�Ariya�s words kept ringing in her ears: �You were fortunate.� Sedaar used her, drugged her mind, intending to violate her body. And Chakotay saved her from that fate, and she � oh, if she could only get another chance to talk to him, to tell him how sorry she was for the things she had said, the things she had done; to tell him that she didn�t mean any of it�
�He knows,� a soft voice whispered above her ear, and Kathryn jumped at the suddenness of these words, meeting the gentle gaze of uncanny green eyes. �He loves you. He knows.� Noticing the disconcerted look on the Captain�s face, La�Ariya frowned apologetically. �I�m sorry, I did not mean to eavesdrop on your thoughts. They were just so � vivid.�
�No, that�s � okay,� Kathryn said hoarsely, shaking her head. Normally, she would not have been very appreciative of someone literally reading her mind without her permission, but right now she was too distraught to care. �I just � I need to find him alive. I need to tell him�� She broke off, turning away and walking toward the window.
��That you love him?� La�Ariya finished her sentence, watching her intently from behind.
There was a long pause, and then a soft �yes� � no louder than a whisper of a summer breeze � escaped Kathryn�s lips.
�Do not be afraid to say that word, Kah-thryn Janeway,� La�Ariya said, joining her by the window. �You can never say it enough times. You don�t know how much I regret not having had the opportunity to say �I love you� to my husband the last time I saw him. I�ll never have that chance again.� She shook her head, emphasizing her next words, �Don�t lose yours, Kah-thryn Janeway. Don�t lose yours.�
Kathryn nodded, as tears welled up in her throat, choking her. And, suddenly, she turned to La�Ariya and threw herself into the alien woman�s arms with the eagerness of a ten-year-old, giving in to a deep, inner need for a simple hug, a need so uncharacteristic to her tough captain�s demeanor. The two women stood in silence, holding each other in their arms under the faint yet comforting light that trickled down into the room from the star-filled cosmos.