Chapter 11
�Come in,� she invited quietly from the semi-darkness of her quarters.
The young Atarri stormed into the room, stopping just a few inches away from the chair that Kathryn was sitting on.
�Forgive me, but may I ask what the hell is wrong with you?!� La�Ariya yelled, her hands placed defiantly on her hips, her eyes boring into the Voyager�s Captain.
�What do you mean?� Kathryn asked innocently, tension evident in her voice.
�You know perfectly well what I mean,� La�Ariya snapped at her. �Didn�t the doctor contact you?�
Janeway heaved another sigh and slipped off her chair, mostly to get out from under the incinerating stare of the large green eyes that burned distinctly even in the dim lighting of her room.
�The doctor informed me that Commander Chakotay has regained consciousness,� she said in a business-like tone, walking toward the window.
�And?�
�And what?� she repeated stubbornly, staring at the black canvas of the cosmos.
�I�m sorry,� La�Ariya spoke venomously, approaching her from behind, �perhaps I was mistaken in thinking that you loved him. Or perhaps the words you said to me the day we met, the tears you cried � were all a lie!�
Her words felt like a slap in the face, and Kathryn turned to her, her mouth open in indignation. But La�Ariya interrupted her before she could say anything.
�You should have been there at his bedside when he woke up, not me!�
�I � I couldn�t face him after ��
�Excuses!� La�Ariya spat out, slamming her fist against the palm of her hand. �You want to tell me that you risked your life and the lives of your crew to save this man just to shut the door on him and yourself? Are you such a coward that you can�t swallow your own pride and face the man you love?�
Kathryn sighed heavily, lowering her gaze at these harsh words.
�When I saw him in that cell on Athrin � all covered in blood, I could think of nothing else but getting him back on Voyager alive,� she began in a whisper, �I was � mortified at the thought that he might � die. But when the doctor informed me that his condition was stable, and that he�ll be all right, I � I began thinking about having to face him and explaining myself, and I�,� she broke off suddenly, as if the words had caught in her throat.
For a few seconds, she stood silent, staring at the indifferent gray of the floor. �I am not a coward,� she added finally, her voice barely audible.
�Then prove it!� La�Ariya urged her, trying to catch her eyes.
Janeway nodded, looking up at her to find an unexpectedly comforting smile on the young woman�s face.
�I have to go now, Kah-thryn,� La�Ariya said softly, inwardly appeased at being able to accomplish her little scheme of getting through to her. �Good luck, my friend.�
She was about to walk out, when Kathryn spoke up.
�Thank you.�
�You�re welcome, Kah-thryn Janeway,� she smiled before leaving her room. �Goodbye.�
***
The doors to sickbay swooshed open, letting her in, but she stopped dead in her tracks seeing an empty bed in front of her.
�Computer,� she said, her voice shaking in agitation, �activate the Emergency Medical Hologram.�
�Please state the nature of the medical emergency,� the doctor chimed, materializing at the door of his office. �Captain?� he exclaimed, noticing her standing confused in the middle of the sickbay. �Is something the matter?�
�Where is Commander Chakotay?� she asked without responding to his question.
The EMH frowned. �That man is almost as stubborn as a Klingon,� he muttered angrily. �I told him I could not release him to his quarters yet � he could barely stand on his feet, for God�s sake!�
�And?�
�And?! He deactivated me! Can you believe that?! I ��
But Kathryn was already out the door. She ran through the hallways past a few bewildered crewmen whom she nearly knocked off their feet. As she reached his quarters, her determination suddenly left her, and she froze outside his door, catching her breath. La�Ariya�s words came to her mind, and she cringed inwardly.
�I�m not a coward,� she repeated to herself, and, having squared her shoulders, she took a deep breath and pressed the bell button.
***
The door chimed repeatedly, bringing him out of his mid-slumber. Chakotay sat up on his bed, wincing in pain. �Enter,� he said hoarsely, absently rubbing his injured shoulder. His jaw stiffened when he saw her come into his room, but he remained silent, watching her, as she took one single step in his direction and stopped, clasping her hands in front of her.
�You are probably wondering what I am doing here,� she began, but he merely narrowed his eyes, not gratifying her with a response. �Yes, well, I guess I wanted to apologize for my behavior that day on Athrin � for � for striking you and ��
�No apology�s necessary,� he objected finally in a quiet, flat voice. �You were under the influence of their drug.�
�I know that,� she licked her lips nervously, feeling like a teenager on her first date. �But I still thought that I needed to explain some things to you and I � I guess I was � scared to do that.�
�Scared?� he was genuinely surprised to hear that word come out of her mouth.
�Yes, hard to believe, isn�t it?� she grinned. �Kathryn Janeway, a Starfleet Captain, admits that she was scared as a rabbit of facing her First Officer.� She paused, giving herself time for the final resolve, and continued. �I had a visit tonight from a good friend, who slapped some sense into me and helped me understand what I needed to do.�
�And what was that, exactly?� Chakotay asked, getting up from his bed. As soon as he did that, though, his headache came back with a vengeance, making the room spin before his eyes, and he tottered, grabbing on to the side of the nearby table to keep his balance.
Kathryn rushed over to him � all her qualms forgotten � and caught him by the shoulders, holding him tight until he could stand steadily on his own.
Then, looking straight into his eyes, she ran her fingertips gently along his tattoo, smoothing out the wrinkles of pain. And he watched in a daze, as her lips moved softly in response to his last question. �That friend helped me realize that what I had to do was to tell you that � that I love you.�
She heard a sharp intake of breath, as he looked away swiftly, trying to hide the tears that glistened in the hazel depths of his eyes.
�Chakotay?� she asked, her voice full of concern. �Chakotay, are you all right?�
He looked back at her, his face beaming with joy for the first time in such a long while. �I�m fine, Kathryn,� he whispered, stroking her hair with his good hand. �I�ve never felt better.�
She smiled understandingly, reaching up for his lips, and he responded greedily. Their lips locked together in a passionate tender kiss that lasted for what seemed like an eternity.
And, as they pulled away from each other, catching their breaths, Kathryn whispered, burying her face in his chest, �I was so scared, Chakotay, so scared. First, when I thought I had lost you there on that planet, and that I would never see you again. And then � if La�Ariya hadn�t � well � I would have lost you again.�
She felt his arms tighten around her, spreading warmth into her body. �I am here, Kathryn,� she heard him breathe into her hair. �I will never leave.�
And Kathryn Janeway sighed contentedly, relishing in the comfort of his strong loving embrace. �I will never let you.�
The end.