Chapter 1
Chakotay looked away to the window of her ready room. Almost three weeks have gone by since the white beads of stars streaked past that window. Three weeks since they had landed on this godforsaken planet, and about just as long a time since she started avoiding him, spending most, if not all, of it with Sedaar.
Sedaar� -- a tall, blue-eyed Athrinian who was the first to make contact with them after ... after Voyager began experiencing problems�
[Several weeks earlier]
�There was a sudden shudder that ran through the ship�s decks, and the systems began failing one after another. They received a transmission from Sedaar�s home planet just seconds after their life support went off-line. The alien appeared on their view screen with a standard �welcome to our space� message, but, noticing their disconcerted, sweat-covered faces amidst the chaotically beeping equipment and clouds of smoke, he immediately inquired about their problem and offered to have Voyager land on Athrin for repairs. Between landing on an unknown but, seemingly, friendly planet and dying a slow death in the blackness of space, the crew chose the former, thankful for this most gracious and timely offer. And so they landed.
Athrin turned out to be a rather beautiful place. The large airfield that had become a temporary home for their crippled ship was shielded from the northern winds by a magnificent mountain range resembling the American Andes. To the south of the airfield, half-hidden in the rocky shadows, lay a small though highly modernized town � the heart of the Athrinian nation. It seemed mysterious and, somehow, inviting, so, when Sedaar offered to take Kathryn Janeway on a scenic tour, mildly suggesting that Voyager was not going anywhere in the next twenty-four hours, she didn�t refuse. Since then�
[Present]
�Chakotay drew in a quick breath, interrupting the dark trail of his reminiscences, and shifted his gaze from the already hateful to him scenery of the mountainside back to his captain.
�I meant just what I said,� he reiterated slowly, trying to ignore the coldness of her stare. �I do not trust him.�
�Why, may I ask?�
She was getting annoyed, he could see it, but he wasn�t going to give up. He called her here to speak his mind, and, by the Gods, he was going to do so.
�Ever since we landed on this planet, we have had nothing but problems. Our goal, if you still remember it, was to repair Voyager and be on our way home � to Earth. Well, the crew has been working on repairing the ship for three weeks now, and we have barely made any progress.�
�Are you trying to blame the crew�s inefficiency on Sedaar?� she asked sarcastically. �That is not very polite, Commander, especially, considering the fact that he gave us plenty of help.�
�Oh, yes, plenty of help.� It was Chakotay�s turn to become irritated. �His people are snooping everywhere around the ship. Tuvok caught one of them trying to steal a part from the navigational console. And you, Kathryn � you�ve become completely alienated from this ship and its crew. You barely spend any time here, and even that is mostly in your quarters. I can�t recall the last time you actually inquired about the status of Voyager�s repairs. All you seem to be preoccupied with lately is Sedaar. It is not like you, Kathryn!�
She rose slowly from her seat and walked around the table to face him, barely hidden anger flashing in her eyes, her voice seething as she spoke. �How I spend my time should be no concern of yours, Commander. And if you cannot handle the fact that another man can satisfy me better than anyone else could, then perhaps you should say so, instead of throwing accusations at Sedaar!�
He winced, tightening his lips. �Kathryn, Kathryn, why do you have to be so cruel?� Calmly, trying not to betray the hurt that her words caused him, Chakotay took a large step, closing the distance between them.
�This just goes to prove my point, Kathryn,� he said in a deadened voice. �You have been neglecting your ship and your crew ever since that alien showed up at your doorstep. You are behaving like a lovesick girl, not a Starfleet captain.�
Slap. Her hand left a burning red imprint on the bronze skin of his face before she even realized what she was doing. Her heart sank when she saw the look of pure hurt in his eyes. What was wrong with her? But, before she could say anything, she heard his voice � cold, emotionless � a voice she herself has used so many times to snap orders at those refusing to obey her command.
�I asked the doctor to examine you. Make sure you stop by the sickbay before you go on another one of your meetings with Sedaar. The security guard will be alerted not to let you off this ship until you have had your check-up. Good day, Captain.�
He turned around and walked out of the ready room, leaving her shaking inside. Could Chakotay have been right? Was there really something wrong with her? Frantically, she shook her head, chasing away the disturbing thoughts. Then she squared her shoulders � the look of usual stubborn determination on her face � and walked out after her First Officer, heading in the direction of the sickbay.
* * *
Later that evening, as Janeway sat leaning into the feathery-soft pillows of a large gray sofa in Sedaar�s living room, the doubts began to once again nag at the back of her mind, and Chakotay�s face with the blood-red trace of her hand on his cheek stood before her eyes. �How could I have done this? Slap my First Officer? I, Kathryn Janeway, a Starfleet captain. Maybe I really am going crazy��
�Kathryn!� A hand lay on her shoulder, bringing her out of her reverie. She looked up, meeting the uncannily level stare of the pale blue eyes, framed by thin layer of sharp bony ridges. �You are not listening to me. What�s wrong?�
She shook her head. �I�m sorry, Sedaar. I�m� I guess, I�m a little preoccupied��
�Tell me what happened.� The alien drew closer.
�Nothing, really. I had a little disagreement with my First Officer,� Janeway shrugged. Somehow, in the intimate semi-darkness of this room and the closeness of the Athrinian, that incident was already beginning to wane in its importance.
�Here, drink this. It�s your favorite.� He handed her a cup of thick greenish liquid that gave off a strong, sweet aroma. Athrinian tea. Sedaar let her taste it on the first day they met, and she loved it. It was perhaps the best alien delicacy that she had ever tasted. Her hand reached for the cup almost instinctively.
�Maybe I should go check on my crew first,� she suggested weakly, forcing herself away from the stupefying aroma of the tea and the hypnotizing stare of her companion.
�Drink,� he insisted calmly, bringing the cup closer to her lips. The sweet tepid liquid poured down her throat, making her a bit light-headed. �Well?� the pale blue eyes were once again looking straight into hers. �Are you feeling better now, Kathryn?�
She licked her lips in satisfaction, blissfully closing her eyes, as he drew nearer. �Yes��