| I begin to study the word
DURESS-Unlawful constrain exercised upon a person, whereby he is forced to do some act against his will. Like maybe being innocent and running to stay free... |
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am frightened." STING |
Let the weekly Cybersequel begin It is November 24, 2001
| I begin to study the word
DURESS-Unlawful constrain exercised upon a person, whereby he is forced to do some act against his will. Like maybe being innocent and running to stay free... |
|
am frightened." STING |
Nineteen years ago my little girl Desiree Sophie Lynn "Little Waterfall" Standley was born
in Missoula, Montana. She is 4th generation Missoula, I feel like I own a little part of a
mountain, a spot by a river, a patch of Big Sky...I call Missoula, Montana one of my homes.
I hope you have read the first chapters of the eBook GOOD BYE TO OLE MISSOULA,
and are now going to follow the Cybersequel part of the book.This CYBERSEQUEL part of the book will be a weekly ongoing story about a part of my
life that is very real, and to me very freighting. I have never lost so much in life and my progress
as a man and a human on this earth since first the death of my Mother at the hands of my step-
father and the following events that are in my eBook and movie script TRIAL OF A DEAD
MAN: And the Good Ole Boys, followed by the death of my little brother to HIV, death of
my Grandmother who raised me, death of my real father from a heart attack, and not having
yet met two of my children, his grandchildren, which to this day bothers me still. I also had
one of my best friends die, who had been Bob Dylan's tour manager off and on for some
twenty years, and I was ghost writing his story about all the years on the road with Bob
Dylan and was in his head when he just up and dies.My wife had just left me and I was still going through the shock of her having affairs. Of
course she blamed me and said it was because I am a outlaw in Missoula, Montana and
Cleburne, Texas. My step-father had died about the time she first told me she was pregnant
and we had to go to Texas, but before we could get there the lawyers had forged the Standley
Will and some Texas gangsters were beginning a three year hold up that would rob my sister
and I of a multimillion dollar estate, with homes, land, oil and gas, stock, rental property,
hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash, family heirlooms, expensive art work and things I am
still to this day discovering were just flat stolen from my sister and I by these Texas Good Ole
Boys. In short the Texas Good Ole Boys are now after me and want my ruin or my life,
because I caught them in the act...I followed their paper trail. Men like this are just powerful
because the have money are are crooked. Really they are stupid fuck heads. Just because
they are lawyers, accountants and city officials doesn't mean they are not gangsters.
BACK TO MISSOULA
I left off my saga in the eBook chapters with some brief notes on the fateful second
MOUNTAIN COUNTRY ART AND MUSIC FESTIVAL...a some on the Rainbow
Family Gangsters and then a link to my experience in the Los Angeles County Jail
for 39 days. During this first part of the Cybersequel I am going to go back through
some of the time in my life after saying "Good Bye To Ole Missoula" and heading
back to Texas. Before I go there I want to go back about a year ago.I knew because of the months that passed and the way the Missoula County Attorney
Dusty Dechamps was putting on the pressure on me and would not give me any
time to pay, and because of the fear for my life and going into hiding in Los Angeles,
California, I could not even feed my children, much less send money to the Missoula
County Attorney to pay off B and R Foods, who ripped me off in the first place, and
and the remainder of the money that I was charged with paying, and which I did in
fact agree to pay, and I still agree to pay... God, I have just had a few problems. If I
was a crook or the kind of dealers that screwed me in Missoula don't you think I could
have come up with a piss-ant amount of money like $1.6 K that the present Missoula
Country attorney says that I still owe, and that he will track me down in Los Angeles to
get me in jail because I have not paid him that amount of money immediately.I have been lucky the past two years just getting money together for awhile to feed my
children, and of the last years have not been able to even help them or their mothers,
much less a place for myself to live while I continue the battle just to stay alive.Time was passing and because of the condition of my day to day life trying to just
survive in Los Angeles, with a wife and two very young children and living in low rent
cheap motels in Hollyweird, before I could even get out of the gutter dang near two
years went by. God, time goes by fast, if your having a good time or not. THEY SAY
LIFE IS WHAT GOES BY WHILE YOU ARE MAKING PLANS. My plan was to get on
my feat, get money together to feed and make my family safe and help my ex-wife in
Montana with money to raise my beautiful teenage daughter. Time began to fly and
I could not get any ends to meet. I did' realize it at the time, but I had also become
mentally I'll and was going through various stages of a mental breakdown.If you have been reading the chapters and some of the additional information that will
be added to the chapters over the next week you will be reading things I wrote when
I was in a different state of mind...First, it was prior hernia complications, my wife
leaving me with the children, becoming homeless in the streets of Los Angeles, and I
guess what I am now accepting as my nervous breakdown beginnings. I hope the
readers will understand that some of my writings now will be from a more confused
self that I have become.In my defense I want to explain two situations and time periods that are important in
my story. First will be the time after we left Missoula and the five months spent on
the Jack Rack in Texas, while we tried dig up the bones in my step-fathers closet to
see where several million dollars that my mother went to her death bed leaving to my
sister and I, while we learn that the lawyers we thought were helping us, plus our
Estate Administrator are conspirators to rip off the Standley Estate from my sister
and I, and our children. And then, up to December 17th when I ended up in the LA
County Jail, and my thoughts of becoming a pebble on the bumper of a cement truck.I feel I need to hurry and get these online for a recent email from the County Attorney
as you will read...has fuled my confusion and conditions of my PTSD that I am taking
medications for and the stress on my gut, which has me living daily with my own
death on my mind. Especially every night that I lay down and think of my four
children growing and living through the Brave New World that we all live since 9-11."GIVE ME SOME TRUTH" John Lennon
Some months after my wife left me with the kids and after living in a van parked in the
streets of Los Angeles and a few nights in the streets with the tens of thousands
that live in the streets of this city, I was offered to opportunity to house sit a house and
do website work for trade of rent to live in a $6.6 million dollar home that Gina Davis
had moved left. With a month rest I was able to get my mind back together enough to
call Craig Shannon, the attorney that I had been working with in prior days. Criag said
he was going to have to drop my case, not really giving me any reasons. I figure
cause I have not, and could not pay him. And I guess he knew that for some reason
the County Attorney was going to keep fighting the fight of the past County Attorney to
bring me down. Being abandoned by my attorney right when I was trying to take care
of the problem...So I said bye.Reminds me of an ole song by Texas buddy Michael Martin Murphey (remember the
song about the horse that ran calling "Wildfire." That was Michael. I have known and
worked with the ole Cosmic Cowboy himself in the early Armadillo days in Austin back
in 1971. Mike and I did some benefits and work with the Texas Governors office for
runaway kids and produced a video called "What She Want's" that one some great
awards in the video and country music world. I did the political work and made the
introductions of Michael to the Governor of Texas and work and succeded in having
Michael made the National chairperson to the Runaway Hotline. Some of these
things mentioned here and there in this eBook, one again was that when I brought
M.M.M. to Missoula, it was a benefit for Friends to Youth. We had a very successful
VIP party and raised some good money for the organization.I then called Fred Van Valkenburg and pleaded him my plea for help by taking off the
Warrant, so that I could take care of a few things. First, was at this time, and for the
past year I had gone through the physical suffering as a hernia busting out of my gut.
I was having some bleeding inside and I was very afraid for my life. I wanted to go to
the hospital, but having the warrant in Missoula and the guys in Texas wanting to
bring me down, I was too afraid that a trip to the hospital would just take me on back
to the LA Country Jail and the dogs would be sent from Texas and Missoula to tear
me to pieces.I have several business deals cooking and dreams that I have coming down the road
and needed to be able to operate in Los Angeles not as some paranoid mental case
hiding and living in fear. As I knew as well that because of the nature of the deals I
was working on that most business will do some background check on you. Also, I
had had my ID to expire and because of my fear for the past two years I had been
walking and taking busses around Los Angeles. Without a ID or a car, or some-
times I was in that catch 22 that most homeless are in. No ID, no car, no job.
Under the life conditions I was doing as much as I could to build a new business
More of the business that I was and have created over these two years hiding my
family and just trying to stay alive so I could make some money and pay my debts and
fight the fight I needed to fight in Texas.
| Amendment IV
The right of the people to be secure in their persons,
houses,
In 1868 the 14th Amendment was passed to ensure
that no state
|
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Following is the letter to Missoula Country Attorney Fred Van Valkenburg near one year ago.
That fact alone adds to my confusion and the realization of my own mental illness that I have
gone through. For after these 55 years of my life and many of my accomplishments I have for
sure come to know myself...but, I do not any more. The past year has also been the time that
I have had to experience the separation from my wife, the heart break of her having several
new boyfriends, not getting to see my children, who are really life itself to me, and the heat
being turned up on the persecution of the Missoula Country Attorney.My call to the Country Attorney set me in a deeper of stark fear. He was very rude on the
phone and kept demanding that I tell him where I was, give my phone number and address
to him leaving me with the fear that he might be tracing me on the cell phone to somehow
track me down. Again, I was not asking him anything but to please take off the warrant and
let me have some time to get the money together, and could he please find out what I owe.
I explained that I was having serious health problems and I needed to be able to go to the
hospital. He said to call him back in a few days, that he wanted to talk to Dusty Dechamps.
I called back the day he told me call and he said that I needed to pay $1.6 K, and that he
was not going to take the warrant off, and again he insisted that I tell him where I was.I had written the following eMail to Mr. Van Valkenburg, but was not getting any answer.
12/12/00Dear Fred Van Valkenburg,
I hope you got my 11/11/00 letter. If not I have attached to this document.
Attachment: Van Valkenburg Letter.htm
From: Benford E. Standley
I would like to first say that I do not have an attorney helping me at
this time. Mr. Craig
Shannon was my attorney for some time while I tried to bring some closure
to a situation
that has brought me to near ruin and in some respects to the edge of death.
Innocent of
charges against me, I have already been in the LA County Jail for over
39 days, which
itself can be a death sentence. While in there over the Christmas
Holidays back when
Missoula County put me in there I developed a serious hernia that the doctor
said could
have been due to stress. It has gotten worse and I can not afford
hospital care and I
must try now to clear this before I am brought to complete ruin.
I hope that you remember me and that you are able to help me out.
I have a long story
and a big problem. The problem has been one of two life situations
that about has brought
me to ruin and has made it very hard for me to live a normal day to day
life trying to be
a father and raise my three year old little girl Ashley, my little six
year old boy Robby,
give help to my daughter Desiree, who's mother I am very afraid for because
of her bout
with Hepatitis C, and who lives there in Missoula.
Besides the situation that happened to me in Missoula, I have a very serious
problem in
Texas that I am posting online to expose what I feel has been a very cruel
and criminal
happening in my life. Writer Rex McGee, who wrote the movie "Pure
Country", read
my story and said that he would not wish it on his worst enemy. He
lives in the town
where the men live that have caused the problem and he knows what I have
been up
against. You can find my documents that I am going to be releasing
in a online book on
my life the past thirty years. I have had several attorneys tell
me that Cleburne, Texas is
the most corrupt county in the State of Texas.
http://www.geocities.com/trialofadeadman
You may remember me from several "happenings" in the past couple of decades
in
Missoula. I first moved there in 1982, after getting married to my
daughter's mother.
We were living in Austin, Texas were I was in the music business with Willie
Nelson and
much of the Austin, Texas gang. Many of who I brought to Missoula
over the years.
Including Michael Martin Murphey, which was a benefit for Friends to Youth.
I have
written two books on children, written some of the only legislation in
Texas for runaway
children, on a board appointed by the Governor of Texas to set up
a program to help
runaway children, produced a huge symposium on children and youth and done
many
benefits over the years for runaway and missing children and youth.
I had also did the
political work to have my old Austin buddy Michael Martin Murphey become
the
National Chairperson for the Runaway Hotline in Austin. I guess I
say this to somehow
show that I am not the trash that some people in Missoula and the Missoulian
paper
make me out to be.
I had also sold out a concert with Emmylou Harris and other shows that
you will find on
the enclosed document. In this document I also brief a situation
that haunts me still, but
was another situation in Missoula where I was screwed by a unscrupulous
business person
that at the time worked for the University of Montana. If you might
remember, you were
giving me some legal help and advice on my case. Also, find a letter
that I had received
from Governor Ted Schwinden. Hate to dig up bones but this
is a real skeletons in the
books of the University. But, I turned my cheek. How does a
Okie from Texas that
hangs out with Willie Nelson (hear he gave ya'll a bang up night the other
night there at
Fort Missoula) sue the University of Montana? So I did not.
I remember talks with you
and seems as I think back some sixteen years you are coming to mind more
and more.
Point in fact here I want to inject is that the University of Montana
ended up having to give
me back money.
And there was Jerry Jeff Walker, Gary P. "I Wanna Go Home With The Armadillo's"
Austin City Limits soundtrack man himself...Nunn, Bobby Bridger ( who's
kin to Jim
Bridger, the mountain range south of you...you know who all I rounded up
during the
Mountain Country Art and Music Festival. Pont in fact. I am
still friends with and work
with Kris Kristofferson, God Bless Hoyt Axton's soul. His first trip
to the valley he died
in was back when I brought him up there in 1984, or so when I got shot
at before...the
city back then would not let me do that show anywhere but the University
because of the
riff raff it might bring to town...I looked at the men around the table
and said..."Hoyt
Axton?"...hell fire, I was doing a great country show, not bringing Black
Sabbath to town.
What a chapter in my life (to be told some day) story...that all was, the
point being, I
brought some great people and talent to Missoula.
I also did several shows with my good friends from the Montana Band before
they died
in a plane crash, and I produced the Official State Ballad of Montana.
I am very proud
of the work that I did to bring this about. I don't know if you were
in the legislature then,
but I did much work to bring this to a reality. I fronted the recording
studio, produced
the record, and did the original promotions to get it to the process to
have it become the
"Official State Ballad of Montana."
Then a decade later I come back to Missoula. I had no reason not
to do another show.
I did not owe anybody any money, never had a judgment against me, never
been sued,
even after what had come down back in 1984, we made sure everybody got
paid off,
even after the actions of the character at the U of M that screwed me and
my partners
back then.
I am not the type of person the Rainbow Gatherings organizers and the Missoulian
have made me out to be. After they pulled the plug on the business
back in 1994, and
ran out of town to go to the July Rainbow gathering then...I went ahead
and paid off,
out of my own pocket, thousands of dollars to talent that had not been
paid. I gave
KPAX a $1,000.00 check with a letter (I have copies of EVERYTHING as does
Craig in his files.) stating I was sorry for the problem and began making
up for what
the crooks had done then. After all was said and done there
was only $5,142, left
that was to be paid.
Knifewing (Native American performer) $989.28 (he got $1,000.00 already)
B&R
Food (which I never got the products during the Festival
and these are
good friends of the folks that took me South. The check was
just a deposit and they never delivered 1/5 the food. Never saw
them again after the gang shut down the show and split for the
Rainbow Gathering.) I for sure want these people at my trial
$2,053.00
KPAX , who I had paid some money, then owed
them $2,000.00 and I paid the
$1,000.00 of that before I even left Montana myself, with the under-
standing that with time I would have paid them the remaining $1,000.
besides the fact they were holding the products that they were even
paid to tape and have yet to deliver to me. I had sent them letters
and
$1,000.00, well before I was arrested.
$1,000.00
Billy
Runsabove--is money to some native Americans that never performed because
they did not like the set up and when the Waylon thang happened I think
they left or something, I know we did give them $400 cash, have a hard
time remembering why they had a claim for the amount of $1,100.00, and
The total was $5,142.63. Over a period of a couple of years, and
God and my wife and
children know I tried to pay more, but between what was happening
to me in the aftermath
of 39 days in the LA County Jail the hernia in my gut continuing to tear...so
broke I can not
even get to the doctor when there is apple juice and diapers to get for
the kids, I lost a job
that I had gotten, my father died, and the fear and confusion of
the case I had regarding my
family estate had me very low...because of the fear of the men in Texas
that had stolen our
family estate I was about beat down to nothing...
I did manage to pay off $2,783.13 (best I can tell from my records),
then my life went further
down the toilet with all the pressures of life and I then had my real father
die in 1997, and in
1998, I had another little girl born to my wife and I. After that
I went on the run because I
have been afraid for my life and that of my family. That is when
I stopped making payments
to Craig and the Missoula Country Attorney, who kept the pressure on me
like I was some
kind of animal. I have enclosed a couple of letters to show what
I was going through. The
men in Texas were out to runin and kill me I believe and I was not able
to keep my feet on
the ground to send people money that did not even give me the good and
services. You
should pull the records on B&R Food, mentioned above and we will see
I owed them no
more thann $500. bucks at the most.
I was virtually run out of Missoula, the gun threats, the violence plus
the articles of lies that
was coming out in the Missoulian, and a wife who had just had a child only
weeks before,
and who had witnessed all this crazy, craziness...I had to get the dodge
out of hell. I went on
a campaign to not only fight the battle that I had in Texas to keep my
family Estate and fight
some of the most evil men I have ever run upon in life, and at the same
time be a dad and
confront my wife, make a living and get out of debt. I want and have
wanted more than
anyone will ever know to have my problems taken care of, but somehow I
keep swirling in
the mire and confusion of the things that have happened to me the last
few years. The hernia
that I developed when Missoula had me in the LA Country jail and the "Post
Traumatic Stress
Dissorder" that this caused in my life was overbearing. I am finishing
a chapter that I wrote in
the LA County Jail, and I am again getting sick just remembering what all
came down during
the Holiday season behind those bars.
Long story and hard to be short. I so hope that you are taking the
time to read this letter and
can be of some help to me. I got word from my daughter some months
back that there is a
warrant out for my arrest in Missoula. I want to ask your help and
trust that I will do what I
can to take care of the problem that has plagued too much of my life and
that could in some
ways bring me to ruin if not death.
The past years of my life has found me becoming somewhat of a broken man,
yet at the same
time I am trying to become a productive member of society and a good father
and husband.
In 1991 my Mother died at the hands of my step father. Then in 1992
my little brother dies
of AIDS, (he had been sexually abused by my stepfather. In 1993,
my step father died and
the problem that I have told you about in Texas began when the crooks began
to steal our
family estate. While all of this is going on I am screwed to the
wall by the crooks in Missoula,
right after my wife gives birth to our son. Then the Rainbow Family
crooks screw me to the
wall and breach contracts, Missoula Country Attorney puts me in jail for
39 horrible days,
has me then come to Missoula, then I have to continue my fight with the
guys that are stealing
my family Estate in Texas, then my real father dies, then my wife has another
baby then the
guys in Texas put me in Jail and I am told that they might kill me for
what I have uncovered
about the million plus dollars that they stole from my Estate...During
two years of this I am
trying the best I can to pay off the Missoula thing, deal with the Country
Attorney wanting to
take me to court ever few months...etc. etc...I then began to lose my real
mind. My wife was
falling apart and having anxiety attacks and as she keeps saying losing
all the youthful days
with her children.
Later I find myself in the Los Angeles County Jail because of what the
Missoula dirty dealing
rainbow crooks did to me. Then I had to come up to Missoula and go
through a battle to
stay out of jail there. These events were the most scared I have
been in my life. I was afraid
of these people because of their threats to kill me before. Then
after seeing the power they
had with the County Attorney and the Missoulian, not to mention that I
was still in the shock
of 39 days in LA County I had to get my young ass to Missoula and stay
there for a couple of
weeks while I was raked across the coals. The Public Defender would
not fight for me, she
only wanted me to plead guilty.
YOU CAN FIND MORE ON THIS CHAPTER OF MY LIFE AT:
http://www.geocities.com/olemissoula
and the Hell I spent in L.A. County at:
http://www.geocities.com/olemissoula/XmasLACounty.htm
I am asking you to take off the warrant for my arrest. Let me continue
to handle this in
a civil manner. I would like to ask that you send me the records
on my payments made, who
has been paid and please accept a payment plan from me to get this part
of my life behind
me. God, my wife and some close friends know that this has done to
me. As I set here
and write all of this I often break down and cry...as I also realize what
this has not only done
to me, but what it has done to my beautiful wife and family.
I want to come back to Missoula and visit my daughter. That I should
be the outlaw and
the people that deal drugs and promote the Rainbow Gathering have done
this to me seems
like some IRONY IN THE FIRE...Fred, these folks were the organizers of
the Rainbow
Gathering...I told you about their other dirty dealings doesn't this all
seem somewhat strange
to you?
Craig Shannon has my full report and all the documents that I had gathered
on this problem.
Maybe if there is interest you could ask for a copy of the bound document
that I left with him.
It is over one hundred pages if I remember correctly. As I mentioned
all my records are now in
storage in Texas. My records show that I knew there had been problems
with the banks
account, especially after they shut down the office and left town.
Record shows that I made
personal contact with every entity involved. Records can be furnished
to the court and my
attorney I made payments to many of the acts and people that I owed some
money, or that
checks were written to not knowing that the Glasgow gang had taken all
the money out of the
bank, besides being told that all the company expense to produce the festival
would be covered
by these people.
I did not run out of town. I stayed for a couple of weeks.
They are the ones that left town and
went to a Rainbow Gathering, closing the office, bank, cut off the phone,
sat down with the
Missoulian who wrote whatever they told them.
Fred, I want to get this monkey off my back. I want to be a productive
member of my society,
I want to be a better father to my children. I want to be able to
come back to Missoula and
see my daughter and see some of my old friends.
Please help me. Can you first drop the warrant. Get this worry
off of me and let me go about
somewhat a normal life with out the heart stopping fear every time I see
a LA Police car. The
fear kills me over and over. I have started writing a long paper
on the eBook that I am
considering releasing on this problem in my life. I can not get it
off my mind and I have had
to live this tragedy over and over...
Maybe you could furnish Craig with the information concerning what I owe.
I am about as
broke as I have ever been, but I see some chances I can come up with some
money to start
back to getting the payments made. Over the years I did pay off near
all of the money that I
owed. I know we had some problems on the records. I know I
have paid some $3,000.00
to the County Attorney's office, and I had sent some money direct to some
of the parties
that were owed money directly. One including a $1,000.00 payment
to the TV station. I
can send you a copy of checks to show that I was not running out on anybody.
Is there any way that I can see a record of what money has been paid to
who? And please
Fred, I plead with you to take the warrant off. You will never know
what I have to go
through with the stark fear of what would happen to my body, mind and soul
if I have to
spend another day in L.A. County.
Over the next few days I will be sending you a long list of the people
that will receive this
page of the site and the first chapters on Good-bye To Ole Missoula,
that
are now
major chapters in my eBook and Cybersequel TRAIL
OF A DEAD MAN.
I remain,
Benford Standley
[email protected]
Benford Stanley,
You owe $1,613.77 in restitution and costs of prosecution. Get that
to me in the form of a
cashier's check within the next two weeks and I'll dismiss our case
against you. If you
don't accept my offer by Friday, get ready to go jail because we've
waited too long for you
to do the right thing and pay this off.
Fred Van Valkenburg
Missoula County Attorney
I'll give you until January 21, 2001 but the warrant will stay active.
However, I won't ask our
cops to actively look for you. I need to keep the heat on you to
make sure you get this done.
You've made it this long, I don't think you'll get picked up as
long as you're behaving.
Fred Van Valkenburg
Missoula County Attorney
Because of the Warrants and the continued fear and my physical and mental condition and
the fact that I did not have any ID to get a job, drive or do anything I was in the Catch 22
between a rock and a hard place out on a limb with all my eggs in one basket and could not
even get the money together to eat, pay child support on my three children, much less
take care of my own health. I seemed to fall deeper down a well of confusion.God knows that I wanted to pay this money off and go about trying just to stay alive.
Caught in theCathch 22 trap I could not move, and I seemed to become more paranoid.Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder click for more information on PTSD
The key to understanding the scientific basis and clinical expression of Post-
Traumatic Stress Disorder is the concept of "trauma."The hyper vigilance in PTSD may sometimes become so intense as to appear like
frank . The startle response has a unique neurobiological substrate and
may actually be the most pathognomonic PTSD symptom (Friedman, 1991,).Below is my last communication from the Missoula County Attorney. I wrote him a,
what in Texas we call a "How the cow ate the cabbage" letter. I wrote the letter on
9-11. In my already neurological state of paranoia, depression and psycho neurosis
and experiences of a mental break down...two planes crashed into two towers in New
York. As I sat all day watching the TV I wrote a letter to the Missoula Country
Attorney...I was honest in the emotions that were steaming in me that day we all went
through the darkness of a Brave New World.
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To: [email protected]
From: Fred VanValkenburg [email protected]
Subject: Thanks
Sent: 11/5/2001 11:45Thanks for sending me all the clues as to your whereabouts. We're hot on your trail.
The last thing you'd want to do is to show up in Missoula voluntarily and ruin our
chance to lock you up. (I made the red print just to give color to how this fueled my PARANOIA)
I had also written a letter to the Montana Attorney General and the Lt. Governor, and have
since written the Governor, and am now drafting letters to various State and US Representatives
and Senators. I will soon have a link to those letters avaliable.So here we are now with the nation falling into a state of NATIONAL ANXIETY, we are seeing
the dark terror of the Anthrax and Smallpox, talk of World War III, the Middle East also begins
to explode, talk that civilization could be at stake. Fear rings every five minutes day after day on
the news. Nothing will ever be the same. Some talk of a holly war, dirty bombs and mass
destruction. The postal system begins to shut down. Stories of Ebola virus, Greyhound Busses
are being high jacked. Stories of the horror of germ warfare and biological terrorism run cold
through my mind. For weeks the horror covers horror and the stories and truths become
darker and darker.Many of the Government buildings have been shut down, people are begining to die of Anthrax,
stories that some of the terrorism may also be from groups like the White Pride, David Lane's
World Church of the Creator, Aryan Nations and Aryan Action and other right wing hate and
other right wingers cooks that have been known to hang out in Montana, Idaho and Utah. The
airlines are beginning to shut down, the economy is slowing and they began to start talking that
the Nation is going starting to experience POST TRAUMATIC STRESS SYNDROME...
"Well," I think..."small world."They describe how the nation is beginning to go into a mass condition of Acute Stress, that many
are beginning to drink more, sales of porn movies are up, the sale of psycho tropic drugs go up
ten percent. People begin to rush out and get married. The US has started bombing runs, the
National Guard is being called up, social services are soon to begin to feel the strain...AND THIS
COUNTY ATTORNEY IN MISSOULA, MONTANA is expending his time and energy,
and looks as if he is ready to put the State of California and the State of Montana out some money
as he tries to get me in their jails...so, I guess then he can pay the cost of some armed guards to
come to Los Angeles and drive or fly me back to Missoula, Montana so he can put me in jail.
Wow...what do I say? Does the punishment fit the innocence?Before September 11, I had already been in a deeper state of my own personal shock...for
months I had been finishing writing and launching my eBooks TRIAL OF A DEAD MAN,
and writing this story. In part, in my defense, in part for protection and just to be able to tell
my side of the story and the truth as I know it to be so. I had been on medication and had had
some psychotherapy, while at the same time was actually experiencing what has been described
and I am sure would be called a nervous breakdown. At the same time, however I was on a
road of self discovery and self healing. For awhile I was going through the hell of self doubt. I
lost hope and faith in what I thought, believed and even my works and dreams began to not mean
anything. Tammy was weekly leaving me phone messages and emails that I am a crook, bum
and just about scum of the earth.September 2nd, was my 55th birthday. I have had the feeling that over the past year I actually
grew old. I feel that I have aged (diseased) many years. I have had to live with the day to day
fear that I am not going to get up the next morning. I have had to brief flashes on the thought of
not really suicide, but not minding and feeling that it might be somewhat relaxing to just die. Truth
of the matter is that any thing that comes to my mind regarding death, I began to only think of
how it will be for Desiree, Ashley, Robby and Lance, my four beautiful children to grow up in
the dark and confusing Brave New World that had fallen upon men, women and children of
this new world. And somehow in my mind I think that my kids need me, and I need to be here
to help them.September 9th, was the eight year anniversary of the death of my step-father and the conception
of my little boy, thereby joining together Tammy Anderson and myself, and our packing every-
thing that I owned in Beverly Hills and loading in a rent a truck and heading for Texas to
discover the forged will. However innocent and (stupid) I was to the thought that lawyers
were not always honest people. The birthday alone and in my depression of being old and not in
good health, with the memories of what in my life had happened the past eight years had me
already in a dark corner of my mind.The past year I had been so locked in a state of fear and paranoia over all this, and compounded
by the fact that my ex-wife kept threatening to turn me in to the gangsters in Missoula and Texas
and to try and get me in trouble as a dead beat dad, or whatever else she could yell at me on the
phone and write in emails...had me so locked in fear that I had to hide from her and could not
see my two children, who again are really LIFE ITSELF TO ME. She had been so sure over
the past months to let me know each time she had a new boy friend and that she and the kids are
better off without me. For awhile she had her sister calling me 5 or 6 times a day leaving messages
that make me sink to just remember or play over...the treats that there were people that could take
care of me if I ever tried to see Tammy or my kids, and on and on and on and on...so true that
"Hell knows no furry like a woman's scorn." I hope with time...myself getting out of the gutter
and being able to pay her money I will be able to hug my beautiful two kids.
| The shock of 9-11, though
it put me deeper into some state
of depression I was already in...two things happened. First, I felt it more important than ever I get my shit together so I could help my children in this Brave New World, and I had a strong feeling to fight the EVIL men and women that had been making my life hell. And, of course, seeing those New York, Washington and Pennsylvania that were victims of the evil I was seeing, made my problems seem small, but at the same time large, because my problems are causing my kids to suffer and not live the more conformable life that I should be able to give them...now and in the very confusing future. |
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So much in life seemed in ruin...there seemed to be so many roadblocks to just getting money to
eat day to day, keep any kind of roof over my head, send my daughter a little money, in that she is
now living alone in Missoula, pay for my medications and some small business expenses. I have
not been able to help my wife and I feel even worse and fall deeper in the well of my own darkness
because I am not on my feet, or man enough to pay the thousands of dollars I need to help with my
children, get myself to a doctor before I die, stay out of the streets where I have already had to live
more than I really wanted to in this life time, get insurance for my kids, much less pay the County
Attorney, so he can give the people that screwed me some money. Again, not saying I not going
to pay...just saying, been a little hard to find two dimes to rub together for some reason.In the next Chapter on the Cybersequel, I am going to begin from the present and then
take you back to when we left Missoula, Montana back in July of 1994 and headed for
Texas to fight for our life. In light of the charges against me I want to make one thing
very clear before we leave this part of the story.
TO BE CONTINUED...
I AM LOOKING FOR HELP AND SUPPORT IN MY CASE. IF YOU WOULD LIKE
TO DONATE FOR THE eBOOK CYBERSEQUEL EXPERIENCE, OR WOULD JUST
LIKE TO HELP ME FIND SOME JUSTICE SO THAT I CAN GO ABOUT MY LIFE
JUST SEND ME A EMAIL AND I WILL GET BACK IN TOUCH.THANK YOU FOR STOPPING BY THE SITE. IF YOU HAVE TAKEN THE TIME TO
READ THE SAGA, THANK YOU FOR YOU TIME. I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR
YOUR RESPONSE. SOON I WILL MAKE A PAGE WHERE I WILL BE POSTING
EMAILS AND COMMENTS.
Some Ran West Information on Benford's 30 years of concern for Runaway and homeless children and youth |
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Trial of a Dead Man Information on the lawyers in Texas stealing Benford' family Estate while he is in Missoula |
I am accepting donations that will go to a legal fund and to help me pay my child support that I have not been able to pay, because living a life afraid and on the run... If you would like to donate  |
To Introduction and Good Bye To Ole Missola
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To see copies of letters to and from the present Missoula County Attorney, Montana Attorney General Governor of Montana and various other officials that I am writing to try and find some help and justice. |
©
2001-2002 Benford E. Standley
All
Rights Reserved.
