-Mark
I don't get boy bands today. They don't write their own songs, and everything is choreographed from their dance moves on stage to how they have sex with each other after the show
-Tom
We're just really lucky. We're not better than anybody else.
-Tom
We reserve the right to make fun of every single person on planet Earth.
-Mark
These days, if we're not sleeping, we're trying to get food or we're watching TV.
-Tom
Success is strange.
-Tom
I'm probablly the best in bed, even if it is just myself in bed
-Tom
Right now people think I'm ugly, but in 150 years they might think I'm handsome.
-Tom
Mark is ugly,Travis is ugly,I have no friends,I'm pretty much the only cool guy in the band.
-Tom
If you guys are anything like me, you like to walk around in your mothers underwear trying to seduce your father. What, Just Me?
-Mark
And we don't stay up all night driving, now we stay up all night drinking.
-Tom
The only reason in the world that I bought a computer was to look up UFO sites.
-Tom
we're just regular stupid people
-Mark
People always throw things at us.
-Tom
I came from punk rock, but who knows if I'm punk.
-Mark
you can't turn chicken shit into chicken salad but you can put chicken shit into someones chicken salad
-Tom
hey, if your a small person, the front is not the best view.. and if you hate seeing shitty bands, all of this, is not a good view
-Tom
"Were not stars.... were all just dorks in a band"
-Mark
My idea of total misery is sitting in traffic.
-Mark
We're like, Fisher-Price: My First Punk Band.
-Mark
I don't think that listening to the Beastie Boys is embarrassing because I think they are a really great band.
-Tom
Punk has nothing to do with what label you're on.
-Tom
We were bored and we couldn't get chicks. So we decided if we'd be in a band, that would take care of two problems at once.
-Tom
"To tell you the truth, this album has less joke stuff than the other albums, but at the same time we promise that we haven't gotten any more mature"
-Tom
People come to our shows with their kids and 5 minutes into our show u can see them grabbing their kids and walking out. its funny
-Tom
Mark and i are actually both having kids now, i guess, how weird is that, we actually slept with each other first and none of us got pregnant so we tried sleeping with our wives, and then it happened
-Tom
"If at first you don't succeed, pay someone else to do it for you"-
-Mark
I used to drink a lot of beer, but I was just getting fat as can be.
-Tom
All the selling out talk is really overrated, the funny thing is it hardly ever comes from bands, it comes from some kid who thinks they're so punk because they have a purple mohawk.
-Tom
People always throw things at us.
-Tom
I hated, hated, hated my job. You know those people who hate there job? That was me.
-Tom
I came up with a little formula. If you write songs about girls, you get more girls at a show. We write A LOT of songs about girls
-Tom
Some people think we're idiots and perverts, which we are.
-Tom
My name's Mark, I ride a scooter. I'm badass.
-Mark
When you go from selling no records to selling lots of them, you have to wonder-did your mom buy them all? Are they just sitting in your garage?
-Tom
I might be a dork, but I don't want to be a jerk.
-Tom
I think there's nothing more awkward or stupid looking than a naked guy.
-Mark
I applaud anyone who thinks I'm good-looking and invite them into my world.
-Tom
There are far too many people out there who take themselves too seriously.
-Tom
I know I've got a disgusting body, but I think it's funny, so I'm gonna make people laugh at it.
-Mark
make way for the hurt kid... and bring me, their wallet.
-Tom
If we tried to write about politics, you'd realize that we're all a bunch of idiots.
-Mark
I see my job in the band as basically to be on stage as the village idiot, to act like a jackass, and to make a total fool out of myself whenever possible
-Mark
I don't need to advertise my punkness. A real punk doesn't need to show off...Its like a Karate man... the Karate man bleed on the inside. A real punk is punk on the inside
-Mark
We pull off looking stupid very well. We can do that without even trying.
-Tom
