The Hat Trick

This is how I first wrote a scene between Agent Ballin and Mamoru in "Hizzoner." I decided it wasn't the right time for the big secret to come out, so I rewrote the scene. It's the closest I've come to really portraying Tuxedo Kamen (vice Mamoru) in action in the whole series.

This doesn't mean TK will never appear. I've left a lot of gaps in the series that a Tux story could fit into. For instance, the Inner Senshi were gone for four months from Tux's world, more than enough time for Tux to have an adventure without Sailor Moon for a change. Maybe something along the lines of the "Dark Knight" Batman graphic novels would be appropriate.


Ballin took Chiba to a landing on the stairs, the most private place he could find for the moment.

"What do you want to know?" asked Chiba. "I was not at the White House last night."

Ballin said, "You were on the guest list. I looked at your background. I found some interesting things." He mentioned his wife's shooting, and the attack on his daughter, and how there had been surprisingly little investigation of either.

Chiba said, "Those incidents have nothing to do with what happened here."

Ballin said, "No, not directly. But they are going to attract more attention now. Everyone involved in this is going to get a lot of attention. And I'm not the only one in the Bureau who's going to find the connections between you, your friends, and the Jones gang."

"No," said Chiba quite loudly. "I think you will not be the only one."

Ballin heard a noise, and he turned to see that Mrs. Chiba's oldest girl was standing on the next landing. Chiba and the girl had a rapid conversation in Japanese, and the girl went away. <How did she get past the guy on the door?> Ballin wondered.

Chiba said, "Even if I was in that gang, what would I have to do with taking over the White House? The enemy have to be terrorists, doing it for some political reason."

Ballin said, "Terrorism and drugs have gone together before."

Chiba said, "Are you arresting me?"

"No," said Ballin. "Should I?"

Chiba said, "Ishtar told me you knew Agent Tiggs. Does this have something to do with that?"

Ballin said, "Some of it. You want to tell me the real story about that?"

Chiba said, "It is not my decision to make."

Ballin took a moment to absorb it. Chiba had just admitted he knew the real story.

Before Ballin could speak, Chiba did. "Do you know what the terrorists are demanding? Have they set any deadlines?"

Ballin responded, "No. The demands were confidential. And of course I wouldn't tell you unless they were officially released, Dr. Chiba." Shaking his head, he added, "Just what do you expect to get from us? We hold all the cards."

"I am not talking to the government now, Agent Ballin. I am talking with you. Meiou-san told Ishtar about you. She did not say that you were a danger. Meiou-san would have warned her if she thought you were. Right now, you are the only person of authority here I have any reason to trust more than anyone else. And I noticed another FBI man here, but you are talking to me alone."

Ballin was glad digital recorders make no sound, because it was very quiet for a moment. He said, "Go on."

Chiba said, "I might be able to give you some special help. I am not certain I should. Again, it is not my decision to make."

"So you are admitting there are others involved?"

Chiba continued. "We might be able to help. You could help us. You yourself, and the government."

"I can't promise immunity from prosecution, Chiba," said Ballin "But cooperate--"

"Prosecution is not what we are concerned with," said Chiba. "Our first concern is the safety of the hostages, and not just our loved ones. Personally, I think the best course is grant the terrorist's demands if they are bearable. I do not know what the rest of us think yet, but I think most of them will agree with me. But if the government decides not to give in, then we must act to save the hostages, with or without help. Our chances are better with help."

"What do you want?"

Chiba said, "Would you give me warning if you find out they have decided to move against the terrorists?"

Ballin found himself laughing. "Who do you think I am?"

"I think you are a patriot," said Chiba. "A patriot of America. I am a citizen of Japan, but my wife has adopted this country, as have some of my friends. We would not ask you to betray your country, but if that is how you see it, that is so, for you. But there is another way you can help."

"And what would that be?"

"You could tell us who is the highest-ranking person here you would trust with your own family's lives," said Chiba.

Ballin shook his head, not because he was refusing to answer, but because he was beginning to think that Chiba was a nut case, with all his pompous talk and mysterious references. <I wanted to know about Marty so much I bought this guy,> he thought. "I'm a new guy here. You want to make some deal, I'll put it through the channels. I do know the Bureau pretty well. If you give me something I can use, I think I can make good things happen. But you have to give me something, Dr. Chiba."

Dr Chiba said, "All right." Then from behind his back he pulled--a top hat. And from out of the hat, he produced a small stuffed rabbit. "Here you are."

Ballin laughed again, this time with real amusement. Then he said, "You know what I mean, Doctor. Something I can use."

"I'm sure you can use this." Dr Chiba flourished the hat, and pulled out--a recorder, just like . . .

Ballin felt his jacket. The recorder was missing. And that wasn't all.

Dr. Chiba pulled a gun out of the hat and handed it to Ballin. Then he flattened the hat with a flick of his wrist, and made it disappear behind him. "You'll find the rest of your things in the lounge, I think. Ask my girls."

"That was quite a trick, Doc."

Chiba said, "You know, we thought you had found us out. We were warned." Chiba peered up the stairwell, and then down. Then he said, "Here is another trick for you." He seemed to pull a rose out of the air.

"Very impressive," Ballin started to say.

But then Chiba threw the rose. It was so fast Ballin didn't realize what had happened until it was done. He barely caught the red streak moving past. He turned to see, and saw the stem of the rose was sticking through the railing, which was formed of stainless steel tubing. Then the rose turned into mist and faded away. But there was still a hole through the railing.

Dr. Chiba said, "Not all of us are girls, Agent Ballin. You would be wise not to tell anyone you don't absolutely trust. You could wind up in a psych ward. And think again about warning us. You could be saving a lot of lives. Now, again, is there anyone with high authority we could approach when we are ready? Your Director, perhaps?"

After what seemed a very long time, Ballin said, "I think I could get you to the Director, but I can't say when. She's supposed to keep her deals, but . . ."

"What about the Vice-President, then? What do you think of him?"

Ballin said, "There is no way I could get you to him without the Director."

"We can get to anyone if we must. What do you think of the man?"

Ballin said, "I don't know. I guess he's done pretty well, but he was never in Washington before, just state politics. That means he's a nobody here." Ballin then said what was on his mind. "You are one of the angels? Is that what you mean? Like at Lake Merritt?"

"We don't call ourselves 'angels,'" said Chiba. "And we don't all have wings. But you are right. Some of us were at Lake Merritt." He sounded mildly amused.

Ballin said, "If you did all that at Lake Merritt, why don't you just toast these guys now? Why haven't you already?"

Chiba said, "For the same reason you have not attacked them. They have hostages."

The door opened above, and the Sergeant called down, "You finished with him?" A lot of noise was coming through the door.

After a moment, Ballin called out, "Yes. For now." Then he said, "Come on. I promised I would bring you back.


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