Nurse Venus

Minako would likely be gone until morning, she'd warned. That was bitter; she was obviously having affairs. No matter how much Kevin wanted to believe differently, he knew he just couldn't satisfy all her needs the way he was. But he couldn't be angry at her; she wasn't doing it to hurt him; she'd never do that. He'd stopped asking for explanations of her absences a long time ago now. It was much like how he had shut out the men who had come and gone through Moms' life, before Moms gave that up. But with Ishy waking him up with her bad dreams all the time, always with Minako gone, he had too many hours alone at night to shut out the thoughts of Minako with another man . . . other men . . . men with faces and hands . . .

Poor Ishy.

Kevin was now used to hearing Sarah scream at night when she woke up from a nightmare. Afterward, Sarah she would start avoiding him and giving him looks for awhile. Her mother, who was really the lady of the house even when her own mother and father were home, was always upset for at least a day, and argued with everyone over the least thing.

But when he was finally recovering from the attack at the lake, he realized that Mina's daughter Ishtar was having nightmares just as bad and more often. Sarah's nightmares were really her own and her parents' business, but Kevin felt he should try to do something to help Ishy. He wasn't her father, but he was sure around more than her father. Or even her mother, when Ishy needed her most.

Minako was tired all the time. She was working and studying to become a surgical nurse now so she could work with her doctor friends. She spent more time with Ishy than Kevin when she was home. She fretted. But Ishy kept having the nightmares. And she started playing sick to keep out of school--Kevin knew all about that game, but it was nothing like Ishy had done before.

Minako did everything for Ishy but stay home every night to be there for Ishy when the nightmares came. That was so hard for Kevin, to see Ishy the way she was, not able to help her, really, and thinking that there was only one thing that could keep Minako out: she must really be in love with another man now, not just catting around . . .

The kids old enough to use stairs slept in the loft rooms except for Ishy, Kimi, and Sarah. They had the room between Kevin and Mina's and the Chibas. They had seperate beds, but they often shared, especially Ishi and Kimi, whom a lot of people thought were twins until they found out they had different mothers.

Now Ishy never wanted to sleep alone, and about every other morning, Kevin found her in bed next to Minako--the other times, she slept with her father and his wife.

When Kevin started to ease out of bed to get to the bathroom, Ishy started fussing, almost like a baby, and scooted closer, still asleep. If he got up, she might wake up. And if he left her, she might have another nightmare and wake up alone. So Kevin broke one of his house rules. He sat on the edge of the bed, carefully used the urinal, and managed not to drop it or upset it while setting it down again. After bending down and up again to do this, his back felt like it was on fire for awhile.

Kevin watched Ishy in the moonlight for a long time, wondering what she was dreaming about. Sarah and Kimi were gone tonight, overnight guests somewhere, and her father was on duty at the hospital. Kevin wondered why she wasn't with Mrs. Chiba. But this wasn't the first time he'd found her like this . . .

Ishy always tried to be brave, but she could get scared, and something must have given her a bad scare. Kevin knew about bad scares . . .

Ishy began shaking, moving, talking, talking in Japanese and English mixed together. Then she started weeping and talking louder . . .

Kevin Jones switched on the light, and said "It's okay, it's okay." He was afraid to touch Ishy with his hands; they were so clumsy and scratchy; he lay his forearm carefully on her head. She roused before she really started to scream. "Bad dream, Ishy?"

"Hai . . . Yes." She talked slowly. She'd had nightmares the two nights before; she had to very, very tired.

Kevin said, "You're safe. Ain't no ugly monsters here but me."

Ishy said, "You're not a monster, Uncle Kevin" She closed her eyes. "You wouldn't hurt children like the man."

"The man in the dream?" Kevin asked.

"Yes."

"But he's just in the dream," Kevin said.

"But there are really men like him," said the little girl.

"Like what?" asked Kevin. "What does he do?"

Ishy said, "He goes around looking for children to catch. Sometimes he drives a van, sometimes a car. Sometimes he waits behind walls . . . behind the wall."

Kevin said, "Behind the wall? That don't happen 'cept in scary movies . . . Ishy, you're safe. Any man comes in here to try to steal you, I'll show him my face and scare him to death."

Ishy said, "You aren't scary, Uncle Kevin . . . "

Kevin said, "Well, I'll whup on his head with my canes . . . can I turn the light off?"

"Please don't," Ishy said.

"Okay . . . Just go to sleep. No bad men here," said Kevin reasuringly.

She started to drift off, but then she made her eyes open. She did this again, and again. Finally she said, "Uncle Kevin?"

"Yes?"

"I need to go to the bathroom. Could you come with me? And wait just outside?"

<Would have been nice if you'd had to go a few minutes ago . . . > "Sure . . . just a minute, got to get my canes."

The house was a little spooky; too quiet somehow. Kevin thought about checking the rooms, but that would be intruding. He switched on lights or turned them up as he passed, making the path to the bathroom brighter. Ishy went in and closed the door, and by the sounds, turned on every single light, and looked in all the cabinets, before starting her business.

She was inside for a long time.

Suddenly she started screaming. He called through the door but she didn't answer. He came in. She was curled up on the floor in her gown. He knelt down, always a very painful effort, and tried to talk her out of it again.

"Ishy, Ishy, it's Uncle Kev. What's the matter, you fall asleep and have another bad dream?"

Ishy cried, "He came through the wall! He came through the wall and put something over my face! I couldn't move, I couldn't see, but I could feel what he wanted! I could feel what the other girls felt! I shouldn't have made Auntie Ami leave!"

"Auntie Amy? What's she doing in your dream?" asked Kevin.

Ishy said, "It's not a dream . . . he almost got me. He almost got me . . . I want mama. I want okasan."

Kevin said, "She's not here, Ishy . . . She'll be home . . . Want to go to Miz Chiba?"

She sat up, really awake now, still shaking a little, but better. "No . . . I shouldn't have told you. Promise not to tell?"

"Tell what?" asked Kevin.

"That the man almost got me."

"Ishy, that was just a dream," said Kevin patiently.

She wiped her eyes, and blew her nose on some toilet paper. Then, after putting her head down for a short while, a sign Kevin knew meant let me alone just now, Ishi looked back up at him and said, "You really love mama, and you love me, like I was one of the babies you made with okasan."

"Who wouldn't love you, child?"

"The man. The men like him." She looked into him for awhile, as if she was seeing inside him, sort of like the spooky way Moms or Mrs. Chiba or sometimes Sarah or Kimi would. "You are hurting, Uncle Kevin."

"I'm always hurting. But . . ." He sat down on the floor, not quite as painful as kneeling. "That's better."

"No, that's not what I mean, Uncle Kevin. You must think mama is with another man all the times she is gone like now, and it breaks your heart. That is a worse hurt than the ones in your arms and your legs."

Kevin said, "What gives you ideas like that, child? I love your mother."

Ishy said, "You love her, but you would not hurt like you are hurting if you did not think so . . . I want to tell you something to make the hurt go away but you must promise not to tell mama or anyone. Not even your mama."

Kevin held up his hand, prepared to swear to keep whatever fool idea she had secret. "I swear."

Ishy said, "All right . . . Mama isn't with another man like you think. She is out looking for another bad man. I think she is with Kimi and Chibi-Usa tonight."

"And where are they?" Kevin asked.

"Somewhere in Washington."

"Really?"

Ishy said, "Yes, really. I used to go out and help them, but I'm too scared to help now. When we found the little girl here, mama was with me, but when the man took me, she wasn't. If okasan had come with me, the man wouldn't have got me."

"Your mama wasn't with you in the dream?" asked Kevin.

Ishy said, "The dream is about what happened, that is why it is so scary."

Kevin said, "Dreams can be very real. But they go away. I used to have bad dreams a lot."

Ishy said, "You still don't believe me. Your heart is still broken . . . do you remember when okasan pulled you out of the lake?"

Kevin said, "I remember some, but it is all mixed up. That happens sometimes. Sometimes you don't remember what really happened. I think you don't remember something right. That's why you think the man in the dream was real."

Ishy said, "No, he was real before he was in the dream. He's all the men mixed up sometimes, even . . . the thing Chibi-Usa told me about. I'm not supposed to know about that . . . You don't believe me."

Kevin said, "I believe that you believe it, Ishy. But I think it's not really true."

She got up. "Let me help you, Uncle Kevin."

"Thanks, but you're still a little thing. I'll manage." He got up with no more than the usual struggle. "All right. Let's go back and get some sleep, or we can go downstairs for awhile."

"Yes."

Ishtar went to the elevator, walking ahead, waiting for him to catch up, walking ahead . . . She was the most loving child he had ever met, always considerate and always reminding other people, gently, to be sensitive. Kevin hoped just being with her and listening to her was helping. But at least he was here. <Why did Minako do this so much?>

As they went down in the elevator, Kevin struggled to keep down the hurt little Ishy had found. Ishy always guessed right about feelings. This was so much like her, trying to fix what just couldn't be fixed . . .

He thought about killing the man, whoever he was. But even if he could do it, killing the man wouldn't do anything but make things worse. It was the hold this other man had over Minako's heart he wanted to kill, but he knew he couldn't kill that with a bullet. All he could do was hold on and hope he would go away.

Kevin had thought, when he'd allowed himself to think, that the other man was probably Dr. Chiba; Ishy was his, after all. But since Kevin had recovered, Minako had always been gone on nights when Dr. Chiba was at home, and when Dr. Chiba was at home, he was with Mrs. Chiba, all the time. And when Dr. Chiba was out, Minako was home, all night, except this time. So it had to be someone else, at least on the other nights . . .

He'd lost track. "Ishy, honey, you pressed the wrong button. We're in the basement now."

"No I didn't, Uncle Kevin."

"What the--" There were five floor indicator lights in the present elevator car, for the loft, the bedroom level, the darkroom and the theatre, the ground floor, and the basement. But the basement light had come on, then gone off, and they were still going down.

Ishy said, "This is the place we don't tell about. I'm in trouble for telling you, but you don't tell anyone else. Not even your mama. Swear?"

"Yeah, sure, swear."<What was going on? Was this a dream? . . . no, just a funky elevator.> Kevin was relieved when the door opened; they weren't going to be stuck, like the old one was always doing.

But the place Ishy walked out into was not the basement he had seen many times when Minako had taken him down for soaks in the hot bath.

She walked out a few steps, and waited for him to catch up, of course. He stepped out, and began the process of following her again. A woman was talking, loud, nasal, scratchy . . . one of the women who visited a lot. She was speaking Japanese. But she suddenly switched into English.

"There they are, Tammy, Philly. See? Just outside of Olympia. That's in Washington. I'm going back to them now."

"Can we go with you, auntie?" said a tiny voice.

"No, you better stay here. You can stay in here and keep Auntie Usagi company, but don't touch any of the computer stuff." Then she switched back into Japanese for a minute, and stopped.

It was very quiet when she stopped. Without her loud voice, the sound of Kevin moving on his canes and clumsy legs was obvious.

He heard Mrs. Chiba call out in Japanese; then she said in English, "Who's there?"

Before Kevin could answer, Ishy called out, "It's me and Uncle Kevin!"

"What?" Usagi came wheeling out into wherever they were--he could see behind her through the door she had come through a big room, with a huge screen showing lights on a map.

"Mama Usagi, we must tell Uncle Kevin what okasan is really doing. His heart is breaking. He is trying to help me not be scared but he can't help if he doesn't know, I think. And his heart is breaking because he thinks mama is with another man. Please tell him, Mama Usagi. I know I must be punished for telling but you must tell him, too, so he believes. His heart is breaking and I cannot stand to feel it any more. Please? Could you bring okasan back here? It won't take long and I will go back and help. I'm not so scared right now. Please? Please?"

Mrs. Chiba looked back and forth between them.

"I didn't know about this place," said Kevin. "Sorry, she has some mixed up ideas."

Mrs. Chiba was looking through him again . . . but then she started to cry. Then she wheeled to Ishy, and hugged her, actually picked her up and put her in her lap. Kissing Ishy on the head, she said, "No, you won't be punished. You should have asked before, but you won't be punished."

Mrs. Chiba raised her watch to her face, did something with it, and spoke some Japanese.

Suddenly, Minako, and Kimi, and Sarah were in front of him. They were angels, like his dream at the lake . . . and Kimi had three eyes.

Mrs. Chiba spoke some more Japanese. Then she said, "This is what Mina-chan does when she leaves at night. She is not hunting other men to have sex with. She is hunting men who rape and murder, to stop them. As I once did."

Suddenly, Mrs. Chiba had wings, great black ones, with streaks of color--and silver skulls in her hair, which he realized were exactly what were in Sarah's hair and in Kimi's hair in smaller form. She was grimacing, in pain, and Ishy was crying, and she had wings.

"You made me as I am, Kevin Jones," she gasped out. "Tell her, Venus!"

Minako looked at Kevin with more tears than he had ever seen. "I made you what you are, Kevin-chan."

And her forehead was glowing . . .

Kevin woke up. Minako was on the bed, looking at him. It was bright day. For a moment he thought it was all a dream . . . and then he noticed that Ishy was asleep between them, on her side, nuzzling her wings into his side, holding on to Minako's gown with one hand.

"She just fell asleep," Minako whispered. "She feels safer when she has her wings."

"Why?" was all he could say.

Somehow, Minako divined what he wanted the answer to. "I don't know. All I can still say is that I care. She says I have so many feelings, I do not know. But she says it is because I love you. And she knows feelings. That is her special power. So . . . do you believe her?"

Kevin closed his eyes. He didn't want to look into Minako's sad, sad eyes now. But . . .

Kevin Jones said, "When we were on the lake the first time, I meant everything . . . you are the only one I can ever love like I do. But you are the one in my nightmares, you and Miz Chiba . . . not so different, after all, are we? In a fight, everything is so fast . . . but you remember everything, for years, forever . . . make one mistake, and you live with it, or you don't."

"When do you want to leave?" said Minako.

"Who said I'm leaving?"

"But you know . . . you know," said Minako.

Kevin said, "You knew. Isn't it better not to hide it now? . . . I ain't the dumbest nigger around. I didn't put it all together because I didn't want to--that's why Sarah had it so easy foolin' with my head. But . . . I want to learn to be more than just what I am here now. I want to be on your crew. I can't fight, but I know about fighting, more than Marvell."

Minako said, "You don't have to prove anything to me. You really saved me at the lake. I can't stop bullets when I'm not transformed. I owe you everything just for that."

"I need to be a man. A man does what he can for his family and his crew," said Kevin.

"Kevin-chan, we may have to fight your brother," said Minako.

"I won't fight him if I can help it. But Marvell . . . he can get so cold sometimes." He looked up into Minako's eyes, still sad, but showing a little hope. "Kimi says she can see me as I'm supposed to be, with her special eye. Use it some time. Try to see me that way."

"I always have, Kevin-chan. I do not need Kimi-chan's eye to see that," said Minako.

He reached out to touch her face, as if he really had a hand, and for a moment, it felt as if he did.

She got a peculiar look. Then she said, "I felt that."

"Sorry . . ." he said, withdrawing his claw.

Minako said, "No, what I mean . . . could you try to do that again, exactly as you did before? And watch?"

Kevin concentrated and tried again . . . and he saw the flesh of her cheek press in, just where it would if he had all of his fingers. She took his hand, and kissed it, or kissed where the fingers should be . . . and he felt it.

She had a look of wonder. "Kevin-chan, Naru-chan has always said you have magic. This is part of it . . . do you know how you did it?"

Kevin said, "I wanted to touch you just once, like I've always wanted to, before you stop pretending you love me."

"She's not pretending," said a little voice. "She loves you. You love her. So stop talking and start kissing okasan so I can get some sleep. Please?"