All
characters, locations and incidents are fiction. Any resemblance to any person,
living or dead, or any situation is purely coincidental.
The entire
contents is Copyrighted, 2008 by Charles A. Petterson
OLDE
Charles A. Petterson
There was a rare knock at my door. Rare because it was mid-July in Jupiter,
“Mr. Aronsen?” A 40 something man, dressed in a light weight suit asked.
“Yes, that’s me. What do you want?”
“I’m from the investigation office of Social Security. There’s an apparent discrepancy in your file. May I come in?”
“No.”
All right, I may have been a little churlish, but I had the same visit five years, ten years, fifteen years and twenty years earlier. These boys seem to lose my records every ten years, or so. “What is it this time?”
“Well, sir, our records indicate that you have been receiving social security payments since 2009.”
“That’s correct. What’s the problem?” I knew the problem.
“Sir, that means you’re 163 years old.”
“I know how old I am. I have known how old I am since I was four.”
“Sir, that’s impossible. You certainly don’t look to be 163. You could easily pass for 60.”
“Well, thanks for the compliment. I’ll tell my barber.”
“This is serious, sir. The indication is that you’re committing fraud. The indication is you’re receiving checks for a person who should’ve been dead at least 50 years ago, if not 70 or 80.”
“Just wait here.” I closed the door to stop the heat from coming in. In a few minutes I returned with a packet of papers.
“Here are copies of my fingerprints. Some were taken when I joined the Navy back in ‘63. That was 1963. There are other sets, all attested to. I’ll give you another set if you have a portable reader with you. You may also scan my right eye.”
The young man departed for a few minutes to fetch the apparatus. I indulged him while he rolled my fingers and scanned my eye. A minute passed while he waited for the results to be transmitted to him.
“I can’t believe this!! You must be the oldest person in the world!”
“Well, sonny, believe it. Now go away and leave me alone.”
He sputtered as I closed the door in his face. I didn’t slam it, no need for that.
I shouldn’t call him a snot nosed kid, but when you are my age everyone is just a kid. They only stop being a kid when they’re in a casket. In any event, that snot nosed kid must have done some talking around his office, or at his church.
I had another visitor in two weeks. I was expecting the exterminator. Instead of having my unit sprayed for bugs, there was another snot nosed kid, said he is Doctor something or other and he’s interested in my case.
“Case? What
case? Who told you I had a case? The
last case I had was in
That set him back.
“Mr. Aronsen, I’ve been told you’re 163 years old. I did some research…”
“Oh no you didn’t!” I interrupted. “I know your type. You had some grad student do all the work.”
He stammered. I surmised he wasn’t accustomed to having anyone talk back to him. “Well… well, yes, that’s the reality. The point is that I know you’re 163 years old. I also have a good idea why you’re 163 years old.”
“OK, so you’re a regular Columbo. I’m impressed. Give me your autograph and you can go away.”
“Please, Mr. Aronsen!” He pleaded with a touch of frustration and a tinge of authority, “I think it’s important for the medical community to have a clear picture of who you are and how it is you came to live so long.”
“Your assignment of importance means nothing to me.”
“What about lunch. Let me buy you lunch, have a glass or two of wine. We can chat.”
I didn’t hesitate to agree, adding that the Reef Grill (the
most expensive restaurant between
I waived at Mario as we entered the restaurant. I knew Mario’s grandfather, father and mother. I’ve been an occasional customer for over 80 years. I taught Mario to ride a bicycle.
Mario seated us. “This guy’s buying. Two specials and a bottle of that Chardonnay I am fond of, Mario.”
The doctor wanted to protest, but resigned to the situation.
“All right, doctor. You’ve come up with the price of admission to this freak show, ask away.”
“In 2012 there was a doctor at the
He looked at me like he was within an inch of the Holy Grail. “I think you were part of the test. I want to know if that’s the case, and if it is, I would like to know more about the experiments and your life.”
We enjoyed the meal in silence. I enjoyed the meal; the good Doctor nearly suffered cardiac arrest when the bill arrived.
I nonchalantly offered, “Special, isn’t it?”
We left the restaurant and headed to the beach. The temperature was a bit over 90 and the relative humidity not too far from that. The doctor was overdressed, even in the lightweight suit. I spared his fancy footwear the indignity of the sand and we walked on the paved path.
“I’m of no use to you, doctor. There’s only one of me. As far as your science is concerned, I’m a freak. However, since you bought me lunch you are at least entitled to my story.”
I picked up my walking pace just a bit. “Doctor John Larsen
and I grew up in the same neighborhood in
“At the time the space program was concentrating on scenarios for possible interplanetary exploration. One of the options was to populate the crew with people who could live for a very long time; on the order of 100 years or more.”
The good Doctor nodded, “Yes, I’m familiar with the proposals.”
“There were 12 men in the study. I was the oldest. All of the others lived a normal span and died. After 20 years it seemed apparent that I’d be the only survivor. John submitted his findings, but since the sample group was so small the medical community just accorded the results to a freak occurrence. John died at age 100.
“John did extensive cell studies on all of the other subjects when they died. He did a few samples on me, too.”
“So, did it end there?” the Doctor asked.
“Even though the AMA wouldn’t publish his efforts, NASA was very much convinced of the results. Unfortunately for them, they wanted to extend the life of men in their 30’s or early 40’s. The treatment didn’t work for them. It only worked on an older person.”
“Why haven’t we heard of this before? This is remarkable!” Sweat was running down the Doctor’s cheeks and I noticed his left pant leg wanted to stick to his thigh.
How could I be any more indifferent? I wondered if I could run this dude up and down the beach enough that might die of heat stroke. “There are several reasons. Even though NASA was paying for the research, the FDA confiscated all of the experiment journals. John was crushed. Another classmate who was also at the University offered the explanation that society could not accommodate all the men living for an extra 20 or 30 years, let alone the potential of 100 years or more.”
I stopped walking for a moment as the Doctor seemed on the edge of distress. “It doesn’t work on women at all. John learned that early on. Hormones.
“NASA gave up on the longevity angle and shifted over to the ‘generations’ model. In my opinion they had too many soft headed psychologists. Buddha was raised in a garden, but they absolutely blocked an experiment along those lines. The computer simulations looked great, but there was no accounting for the effects of outside influences and there never was consensus about a cultural model that would be impressed on the children born in space.”
I started walking again once the Doctors breathing reduced to being just labored. “John’s protégé, Kjel Bjornsen, had the formula. Nobody knew that except John. Somewhere along the line the government got wind that BJ was continuing the work. BJ died under strange circumstances and his lab was torched two days earlier. There was no ambiguity about the fire, no attempt to mask it was arson.”
I smiled at the Doctor, “I haven’t been hiding or anything like that. A representative from FDA, or at least that was the claim, I don’t know, came by in 36 to check me out. He politely asked me to not advertise my situation. I politely told him there wasn’t any particular reason for me to either be quiet or chatty. He arranged a pension “from the Navy” equivalent to a Captain with 40 years service. I am a veteran, by the way.
“My life is relatively quiet. I have my hobbies. I occasionally get hassled by the social security administration. That’s all there is.”
The Doctor walked for a few minutes, his hair now matted
from sweat. “Would you come back to
“No. There’s no need for me to travel anywhere. If you want to see the freak, bring the rubes here.”
The snot-nosed kid cum doctor had to think about that for a minute. While he contemplated the mysteries of my life Juanita Sanchez rollerbladed into view. Every time I see Juanita I am so thankful I still have my libido. All right, so she’s 125 years younger than me! What’s the use of being a dirty old man if the eyes aren’t connected to the penis?
“Hey, Mister Aronson,” she called when in hailing distance. “We’re having a party Saturday night to celebrate mother’s birthday. We would really like for you come by. Ric will be grilling shrimp and fish.”
“That sounds nice, Juanita. I’ll be there.”
Juanita skidded to a stop and gave me a hug, pressing her generous breasts against me gently. She’s a tease. She knows it. “Who’s your friend?”
“He claims he’s a doctor; says he’s from
“Ooooh! A doctor from
“I have to say ‘no’ on both counts. I don’t recall a Doctor Farnsworth. I’m not married.”
Juanita took a pull on the bottle and then handed it to me. “If you’re going to be in town Saturday night you’re invited, too. I have to get going. See you Saturday, Mister Aronson.”
“Good bye, Juanita! Thanks for the thrill!” I handed the half full bottle back to Juanita, ignoring the notion the Doctor might need some.
The Doctor said, “That might be worth staying in town for an extra day or two.”
“She would eat you alive.”
“That might be a nice way to go.” He said with an appreciative look.
“She’s wealthy, too.” I walked to a park bench and we sat in the shade of a nearby group of palm trees.
“Do you have a regular physician?”
“I have three regular physicians. I’ve been going to the same building for 90 years. After 20 years my original doctor started breaking in a new doctor. The first one died, of course, and the second doctor started training a new doctor and so it has gone. I’m an annuity for them.”
“May I stop by and visit with them about you?”
I turned to the Doctor so he could see I was sincere. “Sonny, I don’t know you from Adam. I have no idea that you are who you say you are. There is no reason in the world for me to let you or anyone else muck around in my life.”
I eased my tone, “I’ll take your card. Maybe I’ll check you out. Call me in two weeks; I’ll give you an answer then.”
The Doctor fished out a card. I took his picture with my communicator. We walked back to the condominium complex using a shortcut. The walkway was alive with scurrying lizards running to avoid the approaching giants that threatened their mid-day sunbath.
We hadn’t walked long before the Doctor was again sweating profusely, and by the time we reached the parking lot his face was bright red.
“I hope your vehicle is air conditioned, otherwise you might need medical attention.”
I left him and walked up to my unit.
That Saturday Pauley Martinez was at the Sanchez party and I asked him to check out the Doctor for me. I made sand castles with Pauley when he was just a toddler. I know his parents well. Pauley isn’t on the right side of the law, and he has seemingly infinite resources when it comes to intelligence. I’m not proud that Pauley has a shady life, but he never bothers me and on occasion he offers “protection” service. Pauley always seems grateful to be able to help me in some way.
The police used to hassle me back in the late 2080’s. Anything that involved a local criminal would always come back to me. “Do you know Fernando? Do you know Jesus? What’s your involvement with them?”
I knew them all. I taught a few of them how to read and play chess. I was the emergency baby sitter at the beach and the source for a quick loan when they were broke and unexpectedly had a date with Holly or Maria. I knew all of the girls, too. They never hesitated to cry on my shoulder over failed teen-aged crushes, or ask advice about potential vacation spots once they started families.
Of course I knew those people! I know everyone on the beach. The police pick up some miscreant, check the security images, and who’s in the picture with them. Well, if the image is from the beach or the supermarket or a half dozen restaurants or saloons, I’m in the image frequently.
The chief of police at that time finally died and the harassment stopped. What a bunch of maroons!! (You don’t hear that anymore.)
Pauley stopped by the unit the following Friday. “I am going
over to the
Such an invitation I couldn’t refuse. Pauley picks up the tab for everything, there are plenty of pretty young ladies and I get a chance to play poker with some new faces.
The trip wasn’t the usual Pauley outing. It was just Pauley and me on his boat. Normally there would be a couple of dozen people along for the ride.
“Mister Aronsen, this may sound really dumb, but until this week I never thought about how old you might be. I have known you all my life and it just dawned on me that you don’t look any older today than you did when I first remember you. That has to be 25 years or so.
“I asked Juanita about it and she said you are over 150. Is that right?”
“One hundred sixty-three.”
“But, that isn’t any secret, is it?”
“No, it isn’t a secret. If you had ever asked I would’ve told you. I don’t make an issue of it.”
“Well, somebody is making an issue of it. That’s why we’re alone tonight.”
“Are you going to feed me to the sharks?”
“Mister Aronsen! No! I could never do that. But that’s what I think may happen.”
Pauley laid out the results of his enquiries. The Doctor and the principles of his staff were raised, trained and educated for one purpose: discover the secret of Richard Aronsen.
That’s a wrinkle I never expected, so I had to ask, “Who’s behind this? I can envisage several motives. Just off hand it sounds like the work of an autocratic government or some super conglomerate.”
Pauley shook his head and, in an atypical fashion, answered
in an excited tone, “It is worse than that.
It’s a cult. They’re known as the
Followers of the Stone. They started out
in the
Pauley shrugged. “As far as motive goes, I haven’t been able to get a bead on that.”
“There is nothing more dangerous than zealots with a lot of money.” I offered as a bit of fatherly advice.
“That brings up an interesting point, you old fraud,” Pauley said with a big smile.
“Oh yeah, what’s it you think you know?”
“While I was poking around a few things shook out about you. This is the last time I pick up the tab for you! You walk around like some down and out pensioner and you have more money than Jaunita and I put together several times over! Plus, there are a couple of blind alleys that look good, also.”
I shrugged. Like my age, my wealth wasn’t a particular secret; it’s just something I don’t discuss with anyone. “I hope you can appreciate that I didn’t work for any of it,” I conceded.
“I couldn’t get to what the sources were. All I could find was really big bucks every time your name came up.”
“A guy has to stay ahead of inflation. The so called pensions I receive certainly don’t cover much of anything.”
“So how did you do it? The really old stuff on you looks very middle class.”
I really didn’t mind sharing with Pauley. I walked over to the wine chiller to retrieve a bottle of an entertaining Chardonnay. “I married my first wife for love and she was the one true love of my life. She passed when I was seventy. Yes, my working days kept us comfortable, but I never had really big money.”
The synthetic cork yielded easily to my efforts and I poured a healthy amount into an actual glass tumbler. Expensive wine and no wine glasses. I need to speak to Pauley about that. “A few years went by and it was obvious that I wasn’t aging. A very wealthy widow, in her early 60’s, attached herself to me. She appointed me executor of her estate and trustee for her children with the thought I would live just long enough for her children to become mature enough to not squander all the money.
“You can see where that went. She died five years after we were married. There was a huge legal battle from the children, but all of the documents had been drawn up by Claire’s lawyers without any input from me, and were airtight.”
I took a healthy sip of wine and spent a few seconds trying to unravel all of the mysteries the liquid contained.
“The children were provided modest stipends, but they had to stay employed for any real chance of maintaining their lives. The two boys drank themselves to death and the girl married into money. She died, bitter and frustrated with me. When she died the trust was dissolved and everything reverted to me.
“My third wife was a similar story, except there was no trust to hassle with and she was even wealthier than number two. Her will was completely upside down. She was convinced I would die before her. My will left all of my assets to her in trust. Her will left everything to me, and if I preceded her it went to her children. You know how that worked out.
“I’m not completely heartless. I did pay for university for the six grandchildren.
“Anyway, that is what I do with a lot of my time. I manage the money. You probably know that I own a half-dozen businesses. When the crash of ’47 happened I was relatively unscathed. I rescued several businesses by becoming partners with the owners and the stipulation that when one partner died the other partner got the whole business. There were a few guys who figured out I wasn’t going to die as soon as they figured and they bought out my half after they got on their feet.
“Not everyone loves me, Pauley. There are some folks your age, maybe a bit older, who are bitter that everything their parents worked so hard for ended up with me.”
Pauley acknowledged with a serious look. “I heard a little of that. Are you going to get married again?”
“I don’t know about that. I have all the companionship I can handle from young ladies looking for a sugar-daddy. They’re good for a few months and then they usually figure out I am not going to keep them and they leave.
“There is one gal I have my eye on, she is very smart and cultured. She said she really has no need to rush into anything. I said I didn’t either, which I think surprised her. We will see what happens.”
“Is that Katherine Justin?”
“Yes. I’m astounded you know about her. I don’t recall bringing her around to any
events in the neighborhood. She’s
strictly
“She’s a Stoner, Mister Aronsen. I am reasonably certain she let you find her, so to speak.”
I had to think about that for quite some time before replying.
An alarm chirpped from the boat’s control panel and Pauley turned his attention to the potential threat of running aground or colliding with another vessel.
Pauley returned and I was still thinking about Katherine. I looked at Pauley, “If you’re right, she is very, very good and extremely well disciplined. She has to be very committed to her faith, or whatever it is, just to be able to get into my life.”
I was thinking, but I really don’t have much more to say to Pauley.
A week went by and the Doctor called. (What a surprise.) “All right Doctor, you can bring your team or whatever to poke and prod. Everything you want to do will have to be in the presence of my physicians, no exceptions.”
Katherine called in the evening and we made plans for the weekend. An acquaintance of hers had a small ship and was sailing Saturday morning to the Keys to watch a sailboat race. It was double accommodations, which implied I might finally find out what kind of woman she really is.
I found Katherine to be a very exciting woman. If she’s a Stoner, as Pauley claimed, and is just being with me for the cause then she’s either deeply committed, has sexual needs that have been pent up too long, or she truly had some interest in me. In any case she didn’t hesitate to jump into the bunk with me.
I figured maybe it’s a detail she was supposed to observe
and report. I made sure she gathered as
many data points as possible before we returned to
I stretched out the examinations for three weeks. I must admit the snot nosed kids had a lot on
the ball. They were an attractive lot,
also. The females of the group all had
blonde hair and blue eyes, pretty faces and attractive figures. I had a hard time imagining them blending in
in
I allowed them an hour of whatever it was they want to do each day except on the weekends. They seemed to be content with spending time on the beach when they weren’t in their lab coats attending to me.
I thought of suggesting to Katherine that we host a party for the visitors from Baltimore, but I didn’t hear from Katherine during the week and didn’t have the opportunity to suggest such folly.
The crew finally had samples of every conceivable body
excretion. They competed their countless questions from a checklist the size of
the
I didn’t hear from Katherine once the doctors left. I guess Pauley was right. Too bad; she was great in bed and even if she wasn’t she was the nicest prospect I had seen since I met my first wife.
Three months later Pauley invited me to go to the
This trip included a full compliment of guests. One young lady in particular got my attention: she had short cropped black hair, alabaster skin and a face best described as cute. At least she wasn’t dismissive of my advances, so maybe she’d accompany me to the casino and my room.
Pauley interrupted my conversation with the young lady and
led me up to the flying bridge. “By the way, Mister A, Katherine is expecting a
baby in June. She’s getting the queen
bee treatment in the compound. All of your medical investigators have left
“Thanks for the update. I hope the child is healthy, it’s a shame I probably never will get to see it. I wonder if Katherine feels she made a supreme sacrifice or if she is elated about making an important contribution to the cause. She’ll never know her effort was for naught, aside from a few cheap thrills. I wonder how long it will be before they come back.”
“How’s that, Mister A?”
“My longevity has nothing to do with genetics. It has everything to do with a clever biotech
procedure that the
“It isn’t that the protocol that was successful with me cannot be duplicated. However, the results won’t be the same.”
I don’t want to give you the wrong impression about Pauley. Nobody would ever confuse Pauley with an intellectual. But, since he first learned how old I am he has been genuinely interested in learning more about how it could possibly happen. Pauley really wanted to feel he was learning something when he asked, “What made the difference? Not that I have a clue how any of this would work in any case, but I’m curious.”
I freely indulged his questions because they were sincere and I trusted that he wouldn’t pass on any of the information. For instance, he didn’t go around telling the women on the boat how old I really am, and he deflected any questions with vague answers that imply I’m reputed to be wealthy.
My thoughts returned to the cute brunette for a moment. I had visions of her returning to my side when the conversation was over.
“Back when I was your age there was a very low grade virus that most people were infected with. Those of us who weren’t became an ever-increasing rare phenomena. I was on a short list of blood donors certified to donate for juvenile patients who had not yet contracted the virus. Now there are synthetic products available, so the question is moot.
“But I digress. In today’s world it is unheard of for anyone over age six to not have encountered the virus. It is so common and so close to being benign that the medical literature stopped mentioning it. The only people who ever cared about the virus at all were the blood products people. It never was in any diagnosis regimen. The test to see if a person is infected or not hasn’t been published for nearly 90 years: back to when synthetic blood products became universal.
“Because I was never infected with the virus my blood did not contain the antigens from the virus. Those antigens stop the processes involved with the longevity protocol.
“But, as I said, no one tests for this antigen anymore. So unless they are really good and way more diligent than I give them credit for, they won’t do that test.”
Pauley was skeptical. “I don’t know, Mister A, I’m no doctor, but the book on these folks is that all of them graduated at the top of their classes and have worked alongside the top people all over the world.”
“Oh, I have no doubt they are smart and thorough, maybe even clever. One could speculate that if these people figure out my secret they could isolate several children who have not yet been infected and then wait until the men are sixty years old to do the experiment. That is a long time to hold a cult together. Leaders change and when the leaders change often the “truths” change also.”
“The
“Why’d you let them fuss with you all that time?”
“As long as they’re devoting their energy trying to create another me they won’t be searching alternative methods. Let ‘em rot, I say.”