OF AN OBESE PREACHER
(My friends just call me �Ed.� Both of �em!)
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A WOMAN�S PLACE
I recently purchased a set of audiotapes which contain sermons from some of the �Greatest Fundamentalist Preachers of the Twentieth Century.� Listening to these really made me feel old. Several of these men I had the privilege to hear in person. One of them Linda and I went to hear several times when we were dating. It took me back a few decades!
It seems like Linda and I have known each other for our entire lives. We met back at Lombard Junior High School. She was in 7th grade and I was in 8th. We both worked on The Lombard Junior High School Elm Newsette school newspaper. In high school we often would meet in the lunchroom - she with her table full of girls; me looking for a table full of girls. No! She was normally at a table that was full of girls, but normally I just came by to talk with her. Sometimes, not often since I would usually walk home, we would wait for the bus after school and ride home arguing theological differences. I never managed to straighten her out on some of her obvious theological misconceptions.
Back then we never - ever! - dated. I did, of course, keep her informed as to who I was seeing at any particular time. When I left for college we corresponded. I kept her informed as to who I was spending time with at the moment. I wrote her at least every other month. For me that was quite a bit. I don�t do letters. Not well!
Upon entering the military I began to write her with much more regularity. Then, when I was stationed at Ft. Bliss, Texas, I called to tell her that I had a �three-day weekend� pass over the Fourth of July weekend.
As we talked on the phone I explained to her that I could not possibly make the trip back to Illinois and return to Ft. Bliss on a three-day pass. Neither could she (She was working at the local clothing factory.) Take the time to come all the way down to Texas and get back to Galesburg on that short time off from her job.
We decided that each of us could make half the trip. We agreed to meet in Springfield, Missouri. I boarded a bus in Texas while Linda boarded a bus in Illinois. Even with the half way for each plan we were not to have much time together. It did turn out to be just enough.
We met near the bus station and walked several miles around town. It must have seemed further to Linda. I was used to walking in the military. She was not as familiar with long hikes. We went to a lake in a small park near the Baptist Bible College. We had a short lunch and took out a rental paddle boat for a while.
The sun was hot and we soon tired of that paddle boat. We went to rest on a park bench in the shade near a cave. It was there that I proposed. I said something like: �So, you want to get married?� Well, maybe not quite that abrupt. But close! I was never even close to being very good - anything actually! - as a romantic.
Then we walked around the city for a while longer and got back on our respective buses for our trips back home. Now, thirty years and two children later, I�m just beginning to realize what a wise decision I made that day. ...and how lucky I was that Linda agreed!
When I was a youngster, the old people (Remember? Those over 30!) Often made the observation that time flies. I never really understood. Now, as I look back... Time Flies!! I think it was Dr. Bob Jones, Sr., who said,
Only one life,
�twill soon be past.
Only what�s done for God
will last.
I do know that as I look back from my advanced age (I�m really not that old; I sure feel it, though!) And look at some of the things that I�ve done... Some good, some terrible, mostly all frivolous... Much of what God gave me to work with I took and wasted. It�s a sad commentary on one�s own self to realize that, in the forth quarter of the basketball game of life, most of the passes have gone into the stands and most of the lay-ups have bounced off the iron.
Regrets? Some. Mostly that I�ve often not done what I should have done, and often done that which I should not have done! Still, as I look back and see that even with all that I might have (No! Simply �HAVE!�) done wrong, God has bailed me out time after time after time... It is a great satisfaction to look and see that, although I might have served Him badly, at least I have served Him.
As I look back I find that there are two things that I�ve always been able to count on. Neither of them is me. I have been blessed that I�ve always been able to count on The Lord and Linda.
It is about that which I wish to write. Last summer, when we were getting Ethan ready for school, a person in a position of religious authority said to Linda, �Oh; I see that you work.� His observation was correct; his attitude was �second class christian woman.� (I wrote the word Christian in small case because I believe that would have been the way it was meant!)
I don�t want to be overly harsh toward this man. I do understand, as we said back in the 60's, �where he was coming from.� He was speaking from his understanding of Christian theology. Unfortunately, his theology was based more upon his cultural upbringing than upon the revealed Word of God.
I understand, I even greatly appreciate our theology of culture. But, it is a dangerous shorthand on which to depend for our view of Christian living. This is especially so in this time of �cultural disintegration� we see as we move forward into a post-Christian age. Whereas our culture was, in even the recent past, seeped in the writings of The Book, it is now seeped in an attitude of relativism. Indeed, the �life verse� for this present time would seem to be Judges 21:25: �In those days there was no king in Israel, every man did that which was right in his own eyes.� But, that�s another article for another time.
Cultural Theology, for the conservative Christian, tells us that a wife is not to work outside the home. I would not argue too strenuously. It is good, especially when the children are young, that one of the parents be at home to nurture the children. The woman (This is totally from the personal experience of watching Linda and I with our kids!) would seem to be better suited for this job than would be the man. This just seemed to be the way our temperaments are as human beings.
But, while I would agree that this situation is culturally good, I would not agree that this is Theologically mandated as part of our Christian walk.
The writer of Proverbs gives some guidance as to the role of a Godly wife. Read Chapter 31 of that Book, with special attention to verses ten and following. It is noted that this wife does much to support and uphold her husband; much - most even - of this, it could be properly argued is done from the home.
However, look closely at verse sixteen. Considering the time that this was written, I would doubt that she did the background work on this over the Internet from her kitchen table! Surely, she was out in the community, being involved in some way or the other. And, note please, that this woman is described as a virtuous woman (v. 10) whose husband and children call blessed and to whom they give praise (v. 28). As a matter of fact, she is even called better (v. 29) than are most others.
I hesitate to look in the New Testament. I could lose my union card as a fundamentalist for this observation. But, if you would withdraw my card, consider Who it was that inspired the following verses which show women at work in the early church.
In Acts 18 we find Paul making acquaintance with Aquilla and his wife, Priscilla. Paul makes note that they are of the same occupation as is he. Verse 3 says that, �...they both were tentmakers.� There again is a working woman. This may be a family business; but, what business is not family if both the husband and the wife are making contribution to that family?
We next see this couple in Romans 16:1. �I commend unto you Phoebe our sister (Essayist Note: Another woman is mentioned here if I understand the meaning of the word �sister.�) which is a servant of the church which is at Cenchrea. That ye receive her in the Lord, as becometh saints, and that ye assist her in whatsoever business she hath need of you: for she hath been a succourer of many and of myself also. Greet Priscilla and Aquilla my helpers in Christ Jesus.�
Now, please notice about Phoebe, that the saints (v. 2) are commanded to help her in her work as a servant of the church. I don�t know what her work may have been. It may well have been the cooking and cleaning that their, and our, culture might lead us to suspect. I say this because she also gave succour to Priscilla and Aquilla. (By the way, isn�t it interesting to note that Priscilla�s name comes first in this list?) Although, if her work was simply �cooking and cleaning,� I fail to understand why Paul said to assist her, �...in whatsoever business she hath need of you...�
Simple (To say this is to slight these important activities without which no ministry - or much else for that matter! - would long survive!) cooking and leaning are certainly not the thrust of Philippians 4:3, however. �And I entreat thee also, true yoke-fellows, help those women which labored with me in the gospel...� Interesting, and confounding, isn�t this to those of us whose cultural upbringing would deny any role to any woman in the work of the church.
I understand I Corinthians 14:34-35, and I Timothy 2:11-14. I also understand that the Word of God will not contradict Itself. Still, that there must be a role for women in the work of the Gospel and the work of the church, is given by Scripture from God, himself. To deny this is to deny Scripture as much as paying more than due reference to the passages in Corinthians and Timothy.
I�ll leave the harmonizing of these passages to your own personal Bible study. It�ll be good practice and exercise for you.
Now, back to Linda and me. In our early years in the ministry I had to work jobs that would allow me to be free evenings (The Wednesday Evening Prayer and Bible Study) and still be able to drop things at a moments notice for funerals, and for hospital, and for other emergencies which often happened in the day time.
Also, in those long ago days, I was back in school. At one point I was working a fifty-hour-a-week gas station managerial job, tending to the church, and taking a full load of classes at Western. Is that a recommended pace for a young husband and father?
It is what would have become necessary for us if it had not been that Linda was willing to work when we came back to Galesburg.
We have always been a ministerial family. We were married on a Sunday afternoon. I had preached the Morning Service before, and would stay to preach the Evening Service after, our wedding. This has just always been part of our lives.
When I say our lives that is just what I mean - our lives. We�ve been in this together and Linda has always done her part - and more!
The first church we pastored was in Louisiana. There were only three people in the church when we arrived. Linda and I made five. I began to do calling and tract passing to increase our attendance. Linda gave birth to Amy. Of course, if she�d just had the presence of mind to give birth to twins we would have outnumbered the church!
Linda did much more than that! I am not a �people person.� I am just not skilled in that area. This is a grievous fault in a preacher! Linda went out and met the visitors and convinced them to become regular attendees. She found what was needed to be done, and she did it! I never pointed and said, �Please.� She just saw what needed to be done; and, she did it. She became for my ministry that which I was not.
There is an old joke: Adam decided that he wanted to have a mate. He asked God about the possibility. �Well,� God said, �I have a plan where you can get someone to cook and clean, to prepare your food and clothes, and to provide stimulating company at any hour of any day.� �Sounds great,� Adam said. �What will it cost?� �An arm and a leg,� God replied. �Oh,� said Adam. �Do you have anything I can get for an old spare rib?�
We all know that is not the way it was! Look back in Genesis 2:18, �And the Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone; I will make a help meet for him.� And, verse 24: �Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh.�
I know of preachers who consider their wives to be all the things that our culture dictates that they be - friend, lover, confident... But, they often over-look the Bible job description - helper/partner.
I once had a car that I drove with a �blown piston.� It got so bad that I would have to check the gasoline when I filled it with oil. It was a complete mess until I got rid of it.
If you are a preacher who does not consider that your wife is part and parcel of your ministry - you are wrong! She may not teach a Sunday School class, or keep company with the children in the nursery, or sing in the choir, or any of the other things where she is seen by the church people, but, she is still part of your ministry. She contributes in some area to your family and allows you the time and ability to stand before that crowd of worshipers.
If you would relegate her to the background of your life, as unimportant when compared to your calling, you are running like my old car. One of the cylinders of your life - and of your calling from God - is not running as it should!
Worse, you�ve overlooked the Biblical picture of the joining of your lives.
Linda has always understood this. She figured it out long before I. Her work has always been a major part of her participation in our ministry.
I will admit that when we did need a baby-sitter, there was a lady who I had known since I was thirteen- or fourteen-years-old. Not only did I know and trust her - she had also watched my sister�s children for several years.
Lucky?
I�ll let you in on a little secret. The closer you come to following the plan of the Lord, the more often these lucky circumstances will show up.
In the intervening years Linda�s working career has taken her to seats on several boards and committees in the area and about. The fall out of her success is that my ministry has been allowed a standing above that which I would have deserved, or earned, on my own.
Yes; Linda had read Ephesians 5:22-24. She understands her place in God�s economy. But, just what is place? Verse 25 and following state that the husband should show his wife the type of love that Christ gave to the church. We all know that. But, look also at verse 28. �So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.�
There are two ways to look at this verse. The first I have often heard - We should love our wives just as much as we love ourselves. After all, the argument goes, we tend to take pretty good care of ourselves. By doing this we will also take pretty good care of our wives.
There is another way to look at this verse. �He that loveth his wife loveth himself.� Compare this with what we saw earlier in Genesis: �...they shall be one flesh.� Our wives are neither appendage nor apparel; our wives are organs of our bodies as we are of theirs.
I�m not trying to take mysticism here. I understand that we are both separate persons; both are singularly accountable to the Lord.
What I am saying is that we are both in this same ministry to the Lord. Each of us has certain abilities and raw materials, as it were, to construct the edifice of our ministry. If you are God-called, and you are married, then your spouse is also God-called to partake in that ministry. That, my younger readers, is just one more reason to prayerfully consider just who it is that you will marry.
The flip side is also true. Several years ago one of Linda�s union superiors said that he was glad that I allowed her to work. Allowed?! Excuse me, but I am rather proud of what Linda has accomplished and, as her husband, I fully support her own work. You see, the saw must cut both ways to be effective.
Pastor�s, support (Don�t just appreciate - support!) Your wives.
Pardon the personal reference. It is just that I do appreciate all that Linda has done for me - and for our ministry in these many years we�ve been together. I only wish that I�d done more for her. It really offends me when someone of supposed religious authority (Even if only placed there by themselves!) Would make light of her accomplishments and look at her as less than she should be to the Lord. ...and to me!
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