| Murhy's Laws |
| 1.Nothing is as easy as it looks. 2.Everything takes longer than you think. 3.Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. 4.If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause 5.the most damage will be the one to go wrong. Corollary: If there is a worse 6.time for something to go wrong, it will happen then. 7.If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway. 8.If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go 9.wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop. 10.Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse. 11.If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. 12.Nature always sides with the hidden flaw. 13.Mother nature is a bitch. 14.It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious. 15.Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first. 16.Every solution breeds new problems. Murphy's law of research 1.Enough research will tend to support your theory. Murphy's Law of Copiers 1.The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to its importance. Murphy's Law of the Open Road: 1.When there is a very long road upon which there is a one-way bridge placed at random, and there are only two cars on that road, it follows that: (1) the two cars are going in opposite directions, and (2) they will always meet at the bridge. Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics Things get worse under pressure. The Murphy Philosophy Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse. Quantization Revision of Murphy's Laws Everything goes wrong all at once. Murphy's Constant Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value Murphy's Corollaries Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse. It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious Law of the Perversity of Nature (Mrs. Murphy's Corollary): You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter. Corollary (Jenning): The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet. |
| Murphy's Military Laws Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are. No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy. Friendly fire ain't. The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map. The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it. The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at. The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short. Incoming fire has the right of way. If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush. The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small. If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap. The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire. There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss. Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants. If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy. Murphy's Love Laws All the good ones are taken. If the person isn't taken, there's a reason. (corr. to 1) The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you. Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant. The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them. Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position. The best things in the world are free --- and worth every penny of it. Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction. Nice guys(girls) finish last. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else. |