Originally written June 2006 for a Mage: the Awakening character. Some material is (c) Copyright White Wolf Publishing, Inc.
"I AM," he said, pausing for a moment to remember it all, "the Chevalier La Chance, Seeker of Arcadia, Master of Time, Disciple of Fate, Initiate of Spirit, Apprentice of Prime, Sentinel of the Consilium of the Queen City, Scion of the Watchtower of the Lunargent Thorn, and Companion of the Blade of the Atlantean Order of the Adamantine Arrow."
"I do not see your name on the list, Mr. Arrow," said the horned, fire-breathing mer-weasel in the damp green frock coat, adjusting its spectacles.
Weasels were quite fashionable this season, but the fairy noblewoman La Chance had come to see could be counted on to outdo her peers.
La Chance strained to read the handwriting on the soggy pages.
"But it is there, under 'L.'"
"...Oh," said the mer-weasel. "But this entry is for the Enchanter La Chance, Seeker of Arcadia, Master of Time, Disciple of Fate, Initiate of Spirit, Apprentice of Prime, Sentinel of the Consilium of the Queen City, Scion of the Watchtower of the Lunargent Thorn, and Companion of the Blade of the Atlantean Order of the Adamantine Arrow."
"I am," said La Chance, "an Enchanter as well."
"An Enchanter and a Chevalier! Well, bless my soul," said the mer-weasel, impressed.
"I am afraid I cannot," La Chance replied, regretfully. "It is outside my area of expertise. Tell me, friend: in what manner does the Her Salacious Highness the Grand High Majestic Over-Empress receive her visitors today?"
"You are in luck, Chevalier. The imperial mood for Tuesday afternoon is Frothily Truculent, with a Refreshing Overlay of Seemingly Unfeigned Gaiety."
"Well, one cannot ask for better."
The mer-weasel looked at La Chance's companion, who had been treading water quietly nearby. "I should warn you, though, that we have no treaty with the korrigans, and it cannot enter here without the proper passport."
"But he is my familiar!" said the mage.
"Well, he is unfamiliar to us. He may prove to be a liability to your suit."
"Yann," La Chance protested coolly, "has always taken the finest care with my garments."
The mer-weasel stared at him for a moment, then threw up its webbed paws, splashing more water on the guest-book. "It's your heart, knee-creature. I shall announce you."
"You do me great honor."
"The Enchanter La Chance, Apprentice of Prime!"
Her Salacious Highness Maleficia Tentaculoff, Grand High Majestic Over-Empress of the Nearer, Inner, Left-Most Sea, lounged alluringly in a marble bath rising above the thigh-deep water that filled the hall. She did not look up when La Chance entered, her attention focused on a clearly nervous water nymph flanked by burly catfish-men. Bored courtiers in sodden finery paused only briefly from their shuffleboard and jump-rope before quickly returning to their games. It was somewhat surprising to see a human here, but those who were surprised at things did not long survive at the court of the Over-Empress.
La Chance could not hear the nymph, but something she said had clearly displeased Her Highness. A tentacle burst out of the water of the bath and wrapped itself firmly around the nymph's waist, pulling her to within arm's reach of Maleficia's upper body.
"Gosh, don't struggle, dearie," said the Over-Empress, unnecessarily, for the nymph was frozen in terror. "I'm not going to eat you, goodness gracious no!"
The nearby courtiers laughed; those further away fixed their attention all the more firmly on their own diversions.
"Now, do you know what you have done, my little minnow, that has got me just the teensiest bit upset?"
The nymph's reply was inaudible.
"Heavens, duckling, I'm not sure everyone heard you!" The Over-Empress peered around the room, and, as nearly everyone redoubled their efforts to seem busy with their games (for the benevolent Over-Empress liked to see that her subjects were happy), she settled her alarmingly cheerful gaze on La Chance. "That Atlantean there -- what were you called?"
"I am called La Chance, Majestic Highness," he said. It was just as well that La Chance did not wear a hat, for the logistics of his accompanying deep bow would have certainly submerged it, and the sort of hat La Chance would have worn, had he worn one, would have been too fine for such mistreatment. He was already unhappy about his boots.
"Well, La Chance, could you hear what this silly dear just tried to say?"
"While I am sure that the fault is entirely mine, Majestic Highness, I am sorry to say that I did not."
"Please, pet, repeat your answer," said Maleficia to the nymph, "for the benefit of this poor, hearing-deficient human."
"Majesty, I have ... I have spoken disrespectfully to my sovereign," said the nymph.
There were melodramatic gasps of dismay from the nearer courtiers.
"Oh, that I had not lived so long as to hear such shocking words!" said a sycophantic triton nearby, overdoing it. Those standing near him moved away subtly. The frightened nymph began to relax, just a little.
The Over-Empress gently set the nymph down outside the tub, gesturing for the guards to hold her, and turned to face the triton. From his expression, it was clear that he was beginning to realize that in some small but fairly important way he had misspoken.
Maleficia, her attention still on the triton, addressed the mage. "La Chance, darling, you're new here, but I would be ever so grateful if you could do me a teeny-tiny little favor."
"If it lies within my power, Your Majestic Highness, I am yours to command."
"Absolutely super!" said the Over-Empress. "Well, one of my subjects has regrets about the past, and I see from your veiled nimbus-thingy that you are a Master of Time."
"I know a few small tricks, Your Highness," La Chance agreed.
"Neat! So, lovey, do you think you could grant his wish and" -- and here for a moment her voice lost its perky bounce -- "kill him five minutes ago?"
The triton fainted, to the annoyance of other courtiers still standing in splash-range.
"Ah," La Chance began, "well ... that is to say ..."
Yann the korrigan swam clumsily closer from the entrance. "Grand Over-Empress, my Master is too modest to boast of his capabilities openly before so many august persons of the Unseelie Court--"
"Do not be impertinent, dirtwalker. I have never known a human of the Atlantean Orders to show anything whatsoever in the way of modesty concerning their capabilities," the Over-Empress said coldly. A split second too late she brightened again, grinning through shark teeth. "You little silly," she added.
"Ha ha, your Majestic Highness favors me with a pleasantry," Yann replied. "Nonetheless, such magic is well within his power, and yet he has never tried it. I am a luck spirit; may I grant him a little beginner's luck?"
"Be quick about it," said the Over-Empress. "I am anxious to move on to other matters. Sweetie."
"I will just chant at him in his heathen lingo," said the korrigan.
La Chance, who had been standing quietly and expectantly during this exchange, picked up his familiar. The korrigan leaned in and murmured, "Fais comme avec une vidéocassette, Jean Blanchard. Comme une vidéocassette."
"Quoi?"
"Please be kind and..."
"A, bon! Yes, Majesty, I will do this spell."
"Fantastic! You're my new favorite Atlantean. Will it take long?"
"But no, your Salaciousness. In all things, we Enchanters know how to take exactly as much time as may be desired."
"Really, La Chance; how interesting. Well, you can just go ahead and cast away, then, dearie."
La Chance produced a glass wand and tapped his pocketwatch. Absolutely nothing happened.
"Regrets, Majesty, but there seems to be an interference..."
"Oh! Very well," she said, sighing. "I, Maleficia Tentaculoff, Merrow-Queen, Grand High Majestic Over-Empress of the Nearer, Inner, Left-Most Sea, and numerous other titles that I do not renounce by here failing to mention them, do grant thee, Atlantean magus called La Chance, no doubt with weighty titles of thine own, if I know thy kind, and I think I do, leave to alter reality in my service within the bounds of my court until the sun doth rise upon the morrow or until I do revoke it, whichever cometh first. -- Honeycakes."
La Chance smiled and tapped his watch again. This time, he vanished.
Instantly Yann found himself face to face with the Merrow-Queen, dangling from a tentacle. Clearly her reach extended beyond the marble bath.
"Where has the human gone, you little rat-thing?"
"Majesty, he has simply stepped into a bubble of time to spare us hours of tedious chanting," Yann explained as calmly as he could. "Mortals need to work themselves up a bit for mighty magics. He'll be back in a few seconds so far as we're concerned."
"He did not warn me of this, and for that, he loses something. You, I think."
The tentacle squeezed. The results were unpleasant. The broken korrigan was flung aside into the murky water of the hall, where a sudden rapid churning indicated that something or other living in the water was prepared to tidy up.
The Over-Empress turned her attention back to the nymph. "While we're waiting for the human, let's take care of you." The nymph found herself once again in Maleficia's grasp. Instead of crushing her with a tentacle, however, the Over-Empress plunged a taloned hand into her chest and simply pulled out her heart.
Then she set the nymph down again, as gently as before.
"Now, that wasn't so bad, was it, dearie?" said the Over-Empress, placing the heart into a large golden box a courtier had brought forward.
"No, Majesty," said the nymph dully.
"Well. Now where the dickens is that silly little mage?"
"I am here, you murdering whore-squid," said La Chance, opening his hands as his nimbus flared brightly.
"Now," said the Over-Empress, "do you know what you have done, my little minnow, that has got me just the teensiest bit upset?"
The nymph's reply was inaudible.
"Heavens, duckling, I'm not sure everyone heard you!" The Over-Empress peered around the room. "That Atlantean there -- what were you called?"
"I am called La Chance, Majestic Highness," he said.
"Well, La Chance, could you hear what this silly dear just tried to say?"
"I believe, Your Salaciousness, that she was trying to warn you of treason," the Enchanter replied evenly.
He had everyone's attention.
"What did you say?"
"I said, Highness, that this nymph, your loyal subject, was attempting to warn you of treason. It is good that she reached you in time."
La Chance found himself betentacled and dragged up next to the nymph. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"I am, or rather she is, speaking of your cousin, Lord Crudelio, who seeks to replace you."
A courtier made for the way out to the antechamber, but Yann the korrigan, who had been treading water near the entrance, blocked his way just long enough for yet another tentacle to grab him.
"Going somewhere, cousin?"
The merrow-lord lashed out with his own, much less impressive tentacles, trying not to escape, but to reach the nymph. He had something violent in mind.
"Gosh, Crudie! I'm awfully disappointed to see you're not trying to deny anything."
Lord Crudelio Tentaculoff ceased struggling and faced his Queen. "No, 'Fisha. Would it do me any good?"
"I suppose not," she said, and took his heart.
"What did the nymph really say, Jean Blanchard?" asked Yann, when they had safely left the Twilight Realm behind.
"That she had spoken disrespectfully, but before we arrived it was as I said. I looked into the past and saw it all. She tried to tell the Empress about Lord Crudelio's plot, but was too nervous, and began by suggesting that the Empress had been foolish. In trusting her cousin, I suppose, but the Empress took offense before she could explain."
"So you looked for evidence of Crudelio's treason as well?"
"Yes, it was easy to find. He has not been too subtle, but no one had gone to the Empress. She does not receive bad news well."
"Do you think the fae of her court might have been better off with another ruler, Jean Blanchard?"
"I did not try to see. It was my task to save the nymph. We did not of course even know the nature of her danger until we were in the hall of the Empress -- in the nick of time, as usual. Also, by the time I knew of the plot and had to cast the spell, there was the need to act quickly and undo the -- the terrible damage."
"Terrible damage! So the daughter of the River had been subjected to heart-slavery? It is strange that in some way I lived through it myself, but don't remember."
"...Yes, my friend. Strange."
"Time magic is an odd thing, Jean Blanchard."
"I am entirely in agreement."
"Well, glad we could sort it all out then, Jean Blanchard."
"Yes. As am I."
"And that nymph was grateful for your help."
"She certainly was, my friend. A pretty smile is all the reward I ask."
"Then the rest of that was something of a bonus, Jean Blanchard."
"Oh, yes."
"The Empress was less demonstrative."
"That ... that is just as well, I think, for a variety of reasons."
"Well, good night, Jean Blanchard. You have done well today, and as your reward, tonight I shall try not to snore so loudly as you pretend I am wont."
"It is all right, Yann. If you snore, I do not think it will bother me, not
tonight."