| NEW POEMS - 10/14/01 |
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| Deep Sorrow |
| I've done a most difficult thing And hurt one I cared dearly for My guilt-wrenched mind haunts me There is no way to save anything That once was precious to me Still is most important, even now Not able to see the pain, but I hear it Plain as daylight in her voice As clear as it can possibly be How could I be so uncaring So cold, so mean, terribly hurtful? My heart aches, not for me for once This time it is for another, though Somebody that I feel I've wronged No! Without doubt, I know I have I knew from the start it would not work But, I continued on that fateful path With total disregard for her feelings As it would most likely appear to most I was blinded by her whole being The challenge, the want to try Try something different, out of character Something difficult, hopeful, wrong Deep sorrow now clouds my mind A part of me has died today |
| A Poem of Sorrow |
| From within the depths of my soul Where it is still, dark, and cold A clear, sorrowful cry issues forth Muffled, as if hidden behind a door Trying to be heard by all, it strains Telling of hurt, misery, torture, pain Feeble as it may seem to passers-by To the owner of the sound, the mournful cry Echoes wildly inside my head, my mind Who is this poor man? It is just I! My heart aches, as my brain hurts As I yell aloud those hailing words Attempting to gain help from anyone Asking for happiness, excitement, even fun Yet fearing any commitment to be made Until after I begin anew, all debts repaid Whereas I may finally become happy Content with life, a whole new Me To a new place where I will be welcome To a wife and a child, and my home But, complications in life are quite many Living with the knowledge of the possibility That these things I wish for most Are as unlikely as owning land on the coast So, here I write as I often do Asking my friends to see me through This rather difficult time in my life Hoping one day of having that wife A couple of kids and maybe a dog Does it seem to you that I ask alot? There is so much I know, more that I don't Sitting in the dark now, my mind is blown By the realizations that I have every day And it matters not what others do or say I continue along on this fateful path But, i try to smile, and I try to laugh To no avail, as is quite usual As I attempt to be normal, comfortable In the environment that always surrounds me I feel helpless and hopless, so very not happy There is nothing other can do to help This is my destiny, my fate, and my HELL! |
| Yet More Questions |
| Why do I do the things that I do? Even when I know that it's wrong I am not in control, not at all I give false hopes, wrong impressions But, I really just mean well People say I'm flirting, just being nice And that's not what it is Yet nobody believes the truth So, why do I continue to tell them? When it is to no avail, useless People believe what they want Not only when it is truth But, also when it furthest from I ask so many questions on this And I get very few, or no, answers I will say that I give up, but I don't It's a lie, like everything else is The whole freaking world is a huge lie |
| Idiocy |
| I've met one who is quite spectacular It's been so long, I've forgotten what to do I haven't been this interested for some time It is hard when you can't remember What do do and what to say, speechless Feel like I am making a fool of myself When I speak to her softly, with emotion Yet, I can get no sure reaction from her The same words affect others, not her She is just different, and I really like that Is she avoiding something, or actually naive? Is she scared, or not interested, young? Would it be wrong to ask these questions? I don't want her to think I am rushing Pushing, but I want to be with her Spiritually, emotionally, and physically Publicly, and privately, and romanticly I feel guilty because I want thse things To show her off, to be seen with her She is a catch: Smart, funny, pretty What more could any guy ask for? Look at me rambling, like an idiot But, I am an idiot in love, perhaps |
| Ode To A Beautiful Day |
| Oh, how the sun shines warm And everything seems just fine There's a sweet melody in the air Of good things yet to come Birds singing, music a-playin' People all around are smiling, laughing And all seem to be in good spirits As if nothing could go wrong today And my troubles are floating away With the mild breezed blowing by Almost the most perfect day But, I without my bike now Have a mild case of spring fever To have the wind strong in my face As I cruise carefree to nowhere What would I give to have forever? Days such as today, but everyday With warm nights, scattered clouds To have a cool breeze and warm sun And not a single care in the world |
| Farewell to Denny's |
| This is dedicated to all of the people I came to know and love and met at Denny's. Before it was shut down, wrongfully. I want you all to know I think about you almost every day. |
| A place for friends to gather New and old, those yet to be This place may cease to exist But the friendships remain forever A cup of coffee and a warm smile Or a family get-together for lunch Late, late night conversations About theories and hypotheses Or nothing at all, just because This is Denny's, this is the place College papers written, books studied Some finding love, others losing it Memories that will live forever Noisy third-shift crouds, servers And me, a struggling poet in the corner Never had I thought this day would come It's hard to believe it's really over I fear I will miss all of you: The regulars and the almost regulars Farewell to this old familiar place We'll meet again... Someday!!! |
| Pack Up & Go |
| The one thing I wish to do Beyond all that there is Is to pack my things and go Wherever the road leads But, I cannot do it Too much holds me back Though there is nothing here Except responsibilities Otherwise, I would just leave Damn my conscience and damn those bills No friends to keep me No love to make me stay Can they tell my mood? When they read this? Well, Fuck 'em all They are no help For they do not care |
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