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| The deathlike silence surrounds me As I try to recover my lost past Images come to me that I do not know Names, words, faces that are familiar But I cannot put them together right The visions have cleared up much lately Today, however, I still do not know Who am I? Where am I from? Somebody must know, somewhere Until then, I guess I will remain John Doe! |
| The sunset burns beauty into the sky A sight that I wish would never die But, like all things in life, today must end As the laws of nature cannot be bent The world is not over at this point in time Sleeping like a child, all beauty divine Tomorrow though, a fresh new day will begin Keep up your hopes! Raise your little chin! Be happy to see the sunset, if only once more Don't shut out love, keep open the door And remember always, that no matter what you do Be glad that you still live, and we'll never forget you! |
| Been sensing that the time is near Something extra-ordinary is about to happen The wind is changing it's direction Life is beginning to follow a different path Suddenly, my senses have become keen Focusing on the dimensions unseen This change is for the good, may not seem so It will take much getting used to, though Feels like the life I know is ending And a new one is awaiting my arrival Don't be fooled, I am scared to death Worried that it won't be as I hope However, I know that I'll be ok |
| So many thoughts running through my mind Making me wonder how I can ever think straight I can't think of any way to slow it all down At crushing speeds, my thoughts travel in circles Microscopic particles traveling near the speed of light Blasting through the sanity, resting peacefully Pressing up against the walls of my soul, mob-like And I have this feeling as of exploding inside To end this misery, this pain, and this torture Which is ripping me apart little by little, agony But, the worst part is, I can feel everything Yet, there is nothing I can do to stop it now Once it begins, it will continue until the issue is gone Until there is nothing more to ponder over Or at the point where it is nearly impossible To even attempt to concentrate on any one thing Even with total regard to its importance So, I let the thoughts die slowly each in turn Finally, as the last vision fades from my mind I begin to drift away into deep, peaceful sleep My body must rest and rejuvenate for tomorrow's battle |
| As the snowflakes begin to fall I dream of a warmer climate Far to the west of where I dwell A land of possibility and hope A new life, a new career awaits It is time to begin the process To tie up loose ends, find closure Begin saying goodbyes, farewells Cut loose the strings that bind me Forgive those who deserve it Put all hate and vengeance aside However, the wall around my heart Continues to strengthen, thicken And I shall wait until moved and settled To tear down that wall, brick by brick Slowly and carefully, so just in case The time comes again to raise it high The stones lie there ready to go This time I hope beyond all hope That there is no weakness in that wall A crack or hole that may let one in As happened the last time I loved And so many times before that It is hard to recover from the pain The torment that follows the end It takes so much time and energy And it cannot be denied or defied It is just another fact of life And that life is all I can count on Nothing else is a sure thing now But, someday, that may change Who is to know for sure? So, now I have begun the move I have brought it out in the open What I must do, and when The hard part is getting it done I am sure I'll do fine, when the time comes Natural, it will seem to me To dispose of old emotions, feelings Into a fiery endless pit, abyss Never to show again it's face A fresh new start is there, waiting Waiting for me to emerge finally From the shadows of despair And into the light of new hopes New dreams, new goals, new friends But, they will hurt me, like before All of the others I've given my heart to And each in turn has broken it So, I learned to mend the cracks I've learned to hide the scars Acting like nothing ever happened Though, deep inside I fall apart Fragments of my existence - scattered Pieces of my soul - shattered The contents of my life - missing Misplaced in a universe of possibilities Looking around, I am astonished Covered in a soft, fresh snow Standing motionless in the same spot As when I became lost in my thoughts And I wander home, without fear Of what the future holds for me And upon my arrival, I fall deep into sleep! |
| I am moving through the scenery, not walking, not running, not floating, not flying. Just moving. I've been there before, and you've been there before. It is the dream. I begin to slip into a vast nothingness - a void, blackness. I am listening to everything: Every word spoken, every thought, and every emotion. Yet to me, it does not matter. I am slowly drifting into another world, another universe, and another life. It is a life that is mine, but at the same moment, a life that does not belong to me: A reality outside of reality - unreal. The sounds in the atmosphere - the music, the thoughts, the feelings, the words, and the emotions - are slipping into an indifferent oneness inside my mind, within my soul. A voice calls me by name - very distant, yet strikingly near. It fades, and then returns with more volume and force, startling me back into the reality that is reality. It is only my friend, Julie. I smile at her, and she at me. We know something, the two of us. We have something together. How I long to be elsewhere. I long to be in a complete, yet incomplete, control of my life and all situations therein. How dearly I miss that alternate universe, that other life. I yearn for that completely different, yet amazingly similar, world to which I visit every night of my life. I will return there again tonight - to live, see, hear, think, feel, and be a part of, the humanity I belong to only in my dreams. There, I can and do correct the mistakes I've made throughout my life. There, I create, and become a part of, my alternate world, my parallel universe. There, I work out my problems so I can face another day in the real world that is reality. There, I am me, but I am not really myself. |
| In an intoxicated stupor I sit alone - bored, tired Trying to find words to fit The emotions running wild Throughout my somber mind The feelings experienced While not entirely sober Though I can think clearly I am relaxed and un-caring About what I say, and to whom Not aware of consequences Incurred while in this state The state of mind I'm in Against the state of mind I want Thinking - clear; concentrating - not Having trouble deciding right, wrong Not caring what I say or when Speaking my mind when I shouldn't Not speaking up when I should To avoid problems, criticism Yet, I continue to converse Drunken thoughts are different They are clear, yet fuzzy Colorful, yet colorless... |
| Nuclear winter falls on my soul Death and destruction in its wake I leap towards safety, but too late My fate has been sealed airtight This is not the way I wanted to go My life is the sunset as it fades away Becoming the darkness of night, now A cold wind blows my memories into oblivion The total lack of color and light that is essential Has forever left me, standing alone and still Yet, I continue to wonder what might be next Keeping optimism on the front lines, fighting Losing a battle that cannot be won Again, letting fate control all that is or will be Trying not to let it prove that it is an oracle Telling the future that I wish I could change But, like always, my plans to better myself are foiled It seems as though normality and good luck are enemies My memory may not survive this holocaust, but� The changes I've had part in will keep Because others will live on and things remain The things I've made right, corrected, or fixed. I will make that fated journey, now Fare thee well, all who remember my ways |
| Never would I have guessed Exactly how my life would be I cannot tell if I've been blessed Maybe somebody's watching over me It may be luck or it may be fate When I find out, I hope it's not too late
I've had misfortunes in my life
So, I set out on an eternal journey for truth
These are the rules of humanity that we live by |
| They say bad things come in threes But, we only remember the bad Good things come in multiples, too And those are what I focus on now There are times I don't want to go on And there are days I wish wouldn't end Without bad luck, there is no good luck And without evil, there is no goodness So, we take all life offers us, and go on Leaving today at the doorstep of slumber Awaking tomorrow ready to begin fresh Probably one of life's most difficult tests But, well worth it in the end, I think Though my life is good compared to others I have still gone through some rough times Different types of hard situations for each Personal pain and emotional duress Today, I continue to be strong, to carry on Doing what I want to do, being who I want And I know if tomorrow is hard The following day can be better If I wish it to be, and I will For, I care not for misery, pain, or torture Surprising really how a smile can be When life gets me down, I smile to myself Because I know that I will be fine And continue moving forward I'll continue looking forward to the future |
| New faces, new voices, and new sights Old friends, old lovers, and old memories Fading away with the tide Finally disappearing from view Never to be seen or heard from again Thy are from the past, will remain so For, that is where they belong Not in the Here, or Now, or Will Be But, in the Was, the Before The time has come for forgetting For creating new memories, a new life Making new friends, a new family, a new home Finding a new job, a new love, a new ME I will strive to be the best that I can Survival is my highest priority, will always be Patience is what I am lacking, now Because I want to be there now, not tomorrow Not the day after or the day after that But, I must and I will, wait for the right time And I shall finally be happy and content With the new ME that I will become |
| Hundreds of thoughts, images, visions Running wild throughout my mind With no apparent rhyme or reason And, no obvious ways to stop them I try desperately to organize them Seems every time I get close enough Where things finally fall into place Something or somebody new appears Disrupting all or most of the hard work Causing me to change my strategies Requiring me to alter my procedures Some pain evolves, but mostly grief Frustration takes control of my emotions Reverting me back to my childish ways I curl up into a ball and bawl my eyes out Because I can't regain that lost control And, so I end another pathetic chapter! |
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