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Do i want this?
     I dont think this is so much about death as it is about just some time to think. I haven't had much time to think about anything except my new job lately. My new job, Im so sick of this
     My feet stick off the edge halfway and i lean over trying to get a good look of whats below. At the bottom of the 10 stories from where i am, a couple of police cars start to pull up. I think maybe my maid told someone. I could have sworn she was gone before i crawled out the window. The other day I found her trying to steal one of my ex wifes dresses. She said that she was taking it to get it dry-cleaned. Whatever. I let her take it.
     By now there are 2 more squad cars and a fire truck. One officer, maybe he's a sergeant, has a megaphone and he mega-yells,"everything will be alright sir, we have people coming up, just stay put." I try to yell ,"NO! i dont need any help officer! I'm Quite fine!", but sinse i dont have a megaphone, he can't hear me.
     Me and my wife divorced last month. She said she needed time apart, and i was too caught up in my work. She was right. I still love her. I don't really need a maid, I guess i just hired her in order to fill the void. I quit my job, moved into this apartment on the 11th floor, and got a Brand new job. Good for me.
     The megaphone announces, "Our men have reported that your front door is locked, we're going to have to break it down to get to you."
     Why me? but i guess they'll pay to fix it. It needs new hinges.
     I wonder if Helen, that's my wife, will me pissed I gave her dress away. She, well when i say "she" i mean "I", spent a lot on that dress. Who cares.
     I hear a loud crash and some kind of expensive china plates fall and break. I dont own any China plates. Then following the crash i hear screaming. Who's in my apartment?
     My brand new job at a new company. What I do is, i fill out request forms for filing sheets and product placement. That;s not in my job description. It's not my real job, but that's what they make me do.
     The megaphone yells, "Stephen!", that's my name, the megaphone rings out, "Stephen, dont worry, just stay up there. We still have men coming to get you. We have youre wife here."
     Helen?

     "Hello Stephen. The police broke down the wrong door." I can barely make out the sergeant struggling with her for the megaphone. She pulls off of him i think. Climbing out the window i guess i forgot my glasses. She megashouts, "Listen.. lately i've been thinking about things, and about us. and im sorry, "bla bla.
     I would be listening to her more closely, but all i can think about is if she's going to be mad about the dress. It was her favorite dress to, besides her wedding dress. But in my mind i think she looked better in this one than the wedding. She was fat when we got married.
     I remember the first night she wore that dress... It was at the town ball in celebration of 50 years something or other. She walked almost in slow motion out of the bathroom, me in my tuxedo. It was almost like one of those commercials where everything is glowing white and everything else has a sparkle to it. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Her hips twinkled from the sequens and the dress draped down her legs to her ankles. I told her she looked beautiful, but she didnt hear me. Maybe i should have spoken up.
     She megashouts up at me,"I think we should get back together" and i yell back, "Is this really the time for this conversation?", but again, they cant make out anything i say. Why does everyone think you have to yell into a megaphone? It already makes your voice loud. She was always dumb.
     Everyone thinks i'm going to jump. When really that was never the intention. I just needed some time to think. I think now that when i get down, i'm going to ask for a couple days off.
          Or quit.
     My stupid, dumb, brand new job.
     A police officer sticks his head out of a window a couple apartments down from me and yells, "please sir. slowly make your way down to me, we can help you" I yell back at him, "is Hellen pissed about the dress?"
     "what dress"
     "nevermind"
     "sir come with me"
          I dont answer. I still need more time to think.
     i hear the officer not yell but just kind of talk, he says, "Sarg, he doesnt want to come down"
     The officer below grabs the megaphone from my ex mega-saying, "listen Stephen, you're going to need to come down."
     How is that even fair? That guy didnt even shout and they heard him and i have to scream for them to ignore me. Oh, a walkie-talkie. Right.
     The megaphone echoes, "Stephen , please go back inside" It's Helen.
     "I lost the dress", she doesnt hear me of course.
     The window officer says, "we'll find your dress sir"
     "its not mine, it was hers, but i lost it"
     I look back down at my feet, the past my feet and down at the flashing lights. This reminds me of back in high school when i was shy and walked through the halls always looking down at my feet. then through the years, as i gained freinds and confidence, i stopped looking down. This is the first time ive really looked at my feet sinse then. Whatever. I'm tired, I sit on the ledge as if in a pool, hanging my legs off into the fresh sky.

oh ya this isnt done either i dont even know why i put this up

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