Did you hear about the North Carolina redneck who pa$$ed away and left his entire estate
in trust for his beloved widow? She can't touch it till she's fourteen.
What's the difference between a good ol' boy and a redneck? The good ol' boy raises
livestock. The redneck gets emotionally involved.
Emily Sue pa$$ed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would
send someone out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator. Bubba replied, "At the end of
Eucalyptus Drive." The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me? "There
was a long pause and finally Bubba said, "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street
and you pick her up there?"
How do you know when your staying in a Kentucky hotel? When you call the front desk and
say "I've gotta leak in my sink" and the person at the front desk says "go
ahead."
How can you tell if a redneck is married? There is dried chewing tobacco on both sides of
his pickup truck.
Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32? It seems
they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in the south? A documentary.
How many rednecks does it take eat a 'possum? Two. One to eat, and one to watch out for
traffic.
Why did God invent armadillos? So that rednecks can have 'possum on the halfshell.
Where was the toothbrush invented? Arkansas. If it was invented anywhere else it would
have been called a teethbrush.
State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I40. He says to the driver, "Got any
ID?" The driver says, "Bout what?"
Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery? The winner gets $3 a year for a
million years.
Why did O. J. Simpson want to move to West Virginia? Everyone has the same DNA.
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Little Rock, Arkansas burned down? Yep. Pert'
near took out the whole trailer park.
A new law recently pa$$ed in North Carolina: When a couple gets divorced, they're still
brother and sister.
What's the best thing to ever come out of Arkansas? I40.
Two Good Ole Boys are walking down different ends of a street toward each other, and one
is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says,
"Hey Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?"
"Jus' some chickens."
"If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?"
"Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them."
"OK. Ummmmm . . . five?"
What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane in Florida have in
common? Somebody's fixin' to lose them a trailer.
A West Virginian came home and found his house on fire, he rushed next door, telephoned
the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here. My house is on fire!"
"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"
"Shucks, don't you still have those big red trucks?"
Why do folks in Kentucky go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more? 'Cuz 17 and
under not admitted.
What do you get when you have 32 rednecks in the same room? A full set of teeth.
2 Rednecks Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The pa$$enger, Bubba, said "lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a poll-ice roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!" Don't worry, Bubba", Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat". "What fer?", asked Bubba. "Just let me do the talkin', OK?", said Earl. Well, they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat, and each put a label on their forehead. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?" "No, sir", said Earl. "We're on the patch".
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