Awhile back, Redwdsdrmr and myself started e-mailing each other company mottos. This made sense only because we work at the same place. And we both hear the circus music as soon as the timeclock starts ticking. This is just a site where we can display these amazing pieces of art for the public to view. Have mirth will travel.
| Dr. Kevorkian | Redwdsdrmr |
| C'est la vie Bedfellow to mediocrity enemy of excellence Don't shoot until you see the whites in our own eyes Where no good deed goes unpunished Misery loves company and the company loves misery Making bad decisions since 1899 Where the word production is a pathetic lie Traipsing down a one-way dead-end path Giving straight answers like blood from a turnip Where indecision runs the show Where "Because I said so" is considered managing Sticking both feet in our collective mouths and twisting Not just committed to mental institutions anymore Running blindly on the fumes of desperation Managing by walking around Buy our stock get a free pet rock Where are stock is in worse shape than used toilet paper The golden ring we're reaching for has long since tarnished The smell of fecal matter in the air is as close as we'll get to the taste of success Doggy paddling to keep our head above water The sad part is that we're not joking Is this management or a weak-mided Jedi mind-trick? Where are all the competent workers at? Every day starts with the death march and ends in a funeral Digging upwards from a 6 foot deep trench We're the last thread of elastic holding the underwear of our bloated corporate structure together Sucking eggs is just another way of doing a good job Old school management equals tired old school disgruntled employees Playing Russian roulette is the way we do business Biting the silver bullet to survive Our style is outdated We'd kiss your a$$, but that would be ABOVE us! Splashing around in the fecal matter of existence Come and buy our corporate crapola The stench you smell is the quality we deliver Where all of our sale items are out of stock Throttling our own throats at every turn Show me an sh*thole, and I'll show you one of our stores The barrio of the most famous gang members the country has ever known Where we bitch slap Martha Stewart and gang rape low to middle cla$$ customers This really is no way to do business, but we don't give a dead baby's a$$ Killing inovation is just another way of keeping our employees in line Imagination is an evil which we eradicate daily We cater to deaf-mute-quadripalegics since they complain the least We are bottom-feeding corporate scum but want to trick you into spending your fat a$$ American dollars without you thinking that we are Customer satisfaction is not in our vocabulary Betting on failure since day one Our fat bottoms show our true weakness A constant blemish on retail's otherwise baby-smoothe bottom New management may not save us, maybe Preperation H will Where Teamwork not only has "I" in it, but "S", "H", and "T" as well The boil on the butt of business Where language barriers aren't a problem, they're a way of life Where failure is not a problem, we suck, we failed, no problem Walking the fine line between bad business and complete waste of space Sent to sit in the corner for making rude noises in the back of the cla$$ Where Chaos Theory rules the operation |
Weakness firm As our foundation Let's run the down and out pattern again Striving to get the most flight out of our cement kite Always dizzy but never dead Always sucking the biggest eggs in town We're retailing in wheelchairs buy handicapped First in futility foremost in disservice Where common sense takes a holiday Penny ante stock sold here Home of the deluxe carrion red plate special Some call it stench we prefer to call it perfume WMS really means Why Make Sense Where fragile eggshell minds implode daily Desperation sold here Faithfully flying in the lost cause formation All this fun and money too? Didn't anybody get the evacuation notice?! Cooking nicely in Uncle Walton's gas chamber Up the red ink river without a paddle Somebody stick a fork in..we're done We're Disneyland in a dime store Is somebody squeezing my nuts or is this still the free fall thing? Where mediocrity is our specialty, and dysfunction is the sum of our existence The longest glide to the bottom in the history of capitalism Doing our best "swimming" belly-up Somebody forgot to cull this herd Turning diamonds into dust everyday Brain-Farts-Are-Us Mayor McCheese, meet McDumbmart I ain't a jokin'--everything here really is broken Maybe we should be selling caskets We're standing knee deep in a river..and dying of thirst Perennial winner of the Running On Fumes 500 Gobbledegook spoken here! The banner flies high at bloat-o-rama Square wheels and heads spinning as one Waiter, we need more windowdressing. Bring more focus groups! Final boarding now for the spaceship Oblivion All the wrong people in all the wrong places just means more egg on our faces No worries, no cares, nobody gives a sh*t anywheres An a$$ault to the senses on every shift Certified time tested futility franchise We help you meet your minimum daily requirement for anger, hopelessness, and utter despair High anxiety featured here Elevating crapola to a high art form Have unique default to failure feature built right in! I could give a sh*t but I don't like to work alone The long and winding road we've been on seems never ending and always descending The Great Flightless Bird Soars Again Hey, Bad Luck Is Better Then No Luck At All, Right? The Theory Of Impossibility Proved Daily The Great Imploding Minds Field Of Screams Inefficiency Supremity Doing Things The Hard Way Cause It Makes Us Look Busier Package Us As Perfume And You'd Have To Call It Skunk Home Of The Homer Simpson Workforce No Diamonds Here..Just Dolts
The Origional Egg Sucking Dog
We're Elvis Minus The Talent Part
Making Our Last Stand On The George Armstrong Custer Plan
Master Race Of Management Coming Into Place..
Too Bad The Final Solution Is, "We're f*cked"..
We're B-Rupped--Here's A Quarter--Call Someone Who Cares..
Going Down Easy--We're So Ripe--Come On Down And Lay Some Serious Pipe
Come Shop In The Dead Zone
Now Selling Martha Stewart/Kmart Stock Certificate Placemats
The Snuff Of Life
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