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| His crystal eyes looked out lazily and apathetically but his smile was daring and excited and it was so subtle even he did not know it was on his face. His mohawk was ungeled and combed over his left crystal eye. He tapped his pen on his textbook and crossed his feet, clad in oversized Doc Marten boots complete with a little chain that hum down over the black leather. The boy�s mouth clicked gently as he played with his the barbell in his tongue. The motivational speaker paced from one side of the stage to the other as he gave the class little anecdotes about things that supposedly happened to him in high school. The moral of each story was that drugs are bad, alcohol was bad, and sex is bad.
The boy crossed his arms over his Cramps band shirt and listened painfully. He waited for the right moment to prove the speaker wrong, but for now, he gazes out. Of course, in the auditorium, there was this one girl who clung to each of the speaker�s words. She laughed when his stories were funny, clapped when it was needed, and smiled the entire time. The girl even cried during a sad story about a boy the speaker knew in high school who was nice to everybody and everybody liked and he was hit by a drunk driver and died. The girl rubbed her teary eyes and showered her metal-gated teeth as she bowed her head onto her friend�s shoulder who ran her fingers through the girl�s frizzy, carrot hair. The boy thought how sad it was that they hung to each of the speaker�s words, believing them to be true. The boy knew the girl would never do drugs and would never even see a joint. When she was older, she would live in a happy home with happy children and she�d never really have to worry about money. Her dramas would be about her children and their soccer games. The boy knew that he would live a very different life. His dramas would be about getting the money for food or hustling drugs. The fear of somehow being thrown into the boy�s future life was a fear that kept the girl up at night, but the boy knew it was meant for him. He needed this kind of pain and the feeling that nothing was ever right. He knew that should he have the girl�s future with the money, the children, never smoking, and dieing old, he would be painfully unhappy because he would feel nothing he ever did was important. So as the boy watched the speaker pace back and forth the boy thought of this. The boy smiled knowing the speaker was completely wrong in everything he was preaching because nothing is bad for everybody. A life that had Sex, drugs, and alcohol was the kind of life the boy needed to feel like his life was worth something. The boy was sure it was this way, and the girl crying didn�t need the speech either because with or without the speaker�s lecture, he life would end happily. The boy almost felt sorry for the speaker when he thought of the meaninglessness of his work. But the boy reminded himself that the speaker was happy with his life and it was destined for him. The boy thought about his own destiny and the girl�s destiny. He wondered why it was so obvious and if he was right about his predictions. At the moment it scared him thinking, what if every choice he had made was the wrong one? |