Jon Baltos Interview Exclusive



Blue FoldersWelcome Mr. Baltos, and thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to sit down and talk with us tonight.
Jon BaltosYeah, I mean there is no way I would be helping the homeless youth.
Blue FoldersSo, how is the special effects editing of One Flew Over The Treasure Chest going?
Jon BaltosSo many mistakes when typing...
Blue FoldersUh-oh. So you've been having difficulties with the effects?
Jon BaltosThe vodka and Kool-Aid was taking its effect on me.
Blue FoldersSpecial effects?
Jon BaltosYeah, I guess so...
Blue FoldersTell us about the editing. What is the current status of the movie? Will it still be finished by summer as it is supposed to be?
Jon BaltosLike Larry Bird, I hit the clutch shots.
Blue FoldersOkay, so we can expect you to pull this one out in dramatic Baltos fashion then?
Jon BaltosJust like Larry Bird in '87.
Blue FoldersDidn't he miss the last second jumper in the 1987 Finals?
Jon BaltosDamn him to hell. Like me... had the last shot, but I couldn't come through.
Blue FoldersWow, you're kinda all over the place on this one. Let's move on to a different topic. The Misadventure 4 screenplay, how is the writing process going? What does the screenplay sound like so far?
Jon BaltosSounds like a fat boxer trying to make some money.
Blue FoldersExcuse me?
Jon BaltosDoesn't sound like the master of nutrition to me.
Blue FoldersIs that the working title or something? The Master of Nutrition?
Jon BaltosI can't feel my face.
Blue FoldersUm, Jesse Reardon recently said he went to Rochester for some creative meetings about the misadventure series. Is that true?
Jon BaltosAccording to his message... this is what I should do. "Keep back spacing numerous times to make myself more aware."
Blue FoldersJesse told you that?
Jon BaltosAll of his meals have at least 30 grams of fat in it.
Blue FoldersOkay. So, what else was discussed at this creative meeting?
Jon BaltosEveryone was playing soccer... and I ran off. I was so lost. No wait, that's not true. In the second game we were down four to one... had a comeback but not good enough.
Blue FoldersWe here at Blue Folders have little to no idea what you're talking about.
Jon BaltosNothing in the world matters when you talk.
Blue FoldersDid you get anything accomplished during this meeting besides what sounds like an unsuccessful comeback in a game of soccer?
Jon BaltosYep...
Blue FoldersAnd what would that be?
Jon BaltosI threw a rotten apple at a car.
Blue FoldersI see, well, that's something, I guess.
Jon BaltosI ran around an apartment complex for 10 minutes.
Blue FoldersI think we can now determine that One Flew Over The Treasure Chest producer Jon Baltos is completely off his rocker.
Jon BaltosI will drink one for Joey. Oh... so much drinking.
Blue FoldersThere's a shocker.
Jon BaltosI was... talking to this girl for a long time and she is 17... going to college parties. The guy gave me too much vodka. We talked about the George Foreman meals and the vegetarian meals for about an hour. Luckily I made it back home. That's where the girls had supposedly gone. I was using my noodle there.
Blue FoldersBefore you incriminate yourself anymore, Woody, I think I will cut this interview short. This has been a Blue Folders exclusive interview with the "genius" behind the Misadventure series, Jon Baltos. Any closing comments?
Jon BaltosI'm going to bed now... and I hate cough syrup.


Actual Transcript of Conversation
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