Daniel: *walks on stage* Even though by now it is painfully obvious that this sort of thing is no longer original, and that the best is the original, I thought I would have a go. However, I do have to thank Hika, and my future wife Doodles (whose name is most certainly not Dora), for inspiring countless…*counts*…dozens to try their hand at this kind of pointless humor. Here’s another one. Let’s see how it goes…*walks off stage*
*lights dim, drumroll*
Voice: Live! From an unnamed and unimportant part of the Middle of Nowhere (also known as Utah), it’s…
Daniel and Danielle: THE…
*commercial*
Daniel: Well, how was I supposed to know the fire extinguishers needed to be recharged?
Danielle: *finishes rubbing ointment on prominent burn on arm* You could have checked them beforehand.
Daniel: Well, excuse me. *glare*
Danielle: *glare*
Audience (which consists of one woman, waving flag that says ‘Mental’ on it): Get on with the show!
Daniel: Aiight, Agnes, aiight. Our guest today is named Grencia…Grencia…Danielle?
Danielle: GRENCIA MARS ELIJAH GUO ECKENER!
Daniel: …how’d you know that?
Danielle: I’m a woman.
Daniel: Oh. Ok.
Danielle: ^_^ *hides laptop under desk* Bring him out, people!
*random people, with extremely blood shot eyes drag Gren on stage*
Danielle: BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE! *points at large neon sign that says ‘No Smoking in forty-five languages* See that?
Gren: …yes.
Danielle: What does it say?
Gren: I don’t know. English (and/or Japanese) isn’t on there.
Danielle: YES IT IS! It’s there in the corner!
All: *squint*
Daniel: I can’t see it.
Danielle: Use this. *pulls out telescope and hands it to Gren*
Gren: o.O;; *looks through telescope* Oh. There it is.
Danielle: What does it say?
Gren: It says ‘No Smoking’ in English (and/or Japanese).
Daniel: That’s fixing it?!
Danielle: Yes.
Daniel: Maybe we should consider moving it closer. It is on the other side of the parking lot.
Danielle: It won’t fit in here.
Daniel: Oh. Oh well.
Gren: o.O;;;;;
Daniel: ANYway, welcome to the-
*commercial*
Gren: -dish towel. You wrap the ice in the dish towel, and then tie it around your head so that the ice is right above your forehead. It keeps you cool for a long time, depending on how much ice you put in.
All: *take a dish towel, wrap ice in it and tie it around heads*
Daniel: Wow. He’s right!
Danielle: How do you know so much about keeping cool?
Gren: I’ve had a lot of ice to play around with. ^_^
Both: Cool.
Daniel: ANYway, ON WITH THE QUESTIONS! We have questions, right?
Danielle: YES! YES WE DO!
Both: *celebrate*
Gren: o.o;
Daniel: KawaiiAyu asks, ‘Are you a GIRLY girl???’
Gren: What?! I’m a fully functional hermaphrodite!
Both: …
Danielle: Ok. KawaiiAyu also asks ‘Hey... aren't you DEAD???’
Gren: *confused* What?
Daniel: *quickly* Oh nothing. Just a random question. Amanda has three questions. She asks ‘Do you ever forget your own name? 'Cause you know, its really long.’
Gren: Nope. Every morning after I shower I write it on my hand! *displays hand*
Both: Ooooo…
Danielle: That’s an ingenious idea.
Gren: ^_^
Danielle: Her second question is, ‘What’s with you and Vicious? *grins* Is there something between you two, hmmmmmmm?’
Gren: WHAT?!
Daniel: You know, a lot of people think you have something going on with him.
Gren: First of all, I haven’t seen him since Titan. Second of all, you know that bird? You know why he has that?
Both: O.O
Danielle: NO!
Gren: Yes.
Daniel: Really?
Gren: Yes.
Both: *scribble down this bit of information for future use*
Daniel: Her last question: ‘What do you think about of Faye?’
Gren: *whispers* She’s a fairy. She told me herself. *taps side of nose knowingly*
Both: …
Danielle: O…k. Pouncing Fossa-thanks for the fruit basket!-
Daniel: She stole it from me. *sniff*
Danielle: ^_^ Pouncing Fossa asks, ‘Does he get stared at when he buys bra's at Victoria's Secret?’
Gren: There aren’t any Victoria’s Secret stores in Blue Crow.
Danielle: *gasp* How do you survive?!
Gren: Very well thank you. Besides, I don’t even wear bras.
Daniel: o.O I just noticed something. It looks like you don’t have boobs! Why is that?
Gren: ^_^ 2071 technology. I have this nifty shirt, so that when I press this button *retrieves remote control-thingy from pocket* it hides or reveals them. Watch! *presses button*
Boob #1: *pop*
Gren: *presses button again*
Boob #2: *pop*
Both: Ooooooo…
Gren: ^_^ *presses button again*
Boob #1: *th-wunk*
Gren: *presses button again*
Boob #2: *th-wunk*
Danielle: Neeeaaaaat.
Daniel: I wish I had one of those. ^_^ Kookie asks, ‘WHY ARE YOU SO FINE?!!! C-‘
Gren: It’s in the genes! *beams*
Daniel: Let me FINISH!
Gren: Fine. ;.;
Daniel: Thank you. ‘Can I play with your hair and look into your eyes and listen to you play your sax and completely drool over you?????’
Gren: It’s in the g- *realizes what the question was* O.O
Both: *snerk*
Danielle: Yeah. It’s in the genes. *bursts out laughing*
Daniel: *looses half of brain to oxygen loss*
Gren: -_-
Danielle: *wipes tear* Hee hee. Anyway, Hikaness (squee!) has one…two…maybe FIVE questions!
Daniel: She has four.
Danielle: …quiet, you. Anyway, first: ‘Can you count? I can! 1... 2... 8! ^_^ GO ME!’
Gren: Um…yes, I can count. Er…congratulations on your ability to count as well. o.O;;;
Daniel and Danielle: CONGRATULATIONS!
Danielle: Next, ‘Has Daniel asked you to be a groomsmen at his wedding? You know. With Doodles. Hope you know how to ski!’
Gren: Ski…?
Daniel: We’re going to get married while skiing! ^_^ I’m going to smash into a tree. ^_^
Gren: Am I invited? I can ski!
Daniel: ^_^ Sure!
Gren: Cool! ^_^
Danielle: Next, ‘Who are you? Do you look like Elijah Wood? Or Dominic Monaghan? Or Christian Coulson? Or Sean Biggerstaff? Or anyone else I like? Because if you do, I SHALL STALK YOU!!!’
Gren: Er…who’re they?
Daniel: EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE YOUNG MEN! *drool*
All: o.O;;;
Daniel: But, ain’t no one do it for me but JET! MWAHAHA!
All: o.O;;;;;;;;;;
Gren: Um…no, I do not look like Elijah Wood, Dominic Monaghan, Christian Coulson, Sean Biggerstaff, or anyone else you like. DON’T STALK ME! *sob*
Danielle: Last question. ‘Do you like cheese?’
Galadriel: *randomly flies in* Would you like some cheese? *flies out*
Daniel: SHE HAS COME BACK TO US! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *celebrates*
Gren: I do like cheese.
Galadriel: *randomly flies in* Would you like some cheese? *flies out*
Daniel: ^_^ I’m so happy. AmiMercury06 asks Ed, ‘What planet are you from?’
Gren: …Ed?
Danielle: Ed?
Daniel: ED?!
All: *blink*
Daniel: Um…oh! This is easily resolved! HEY ED!
Ed from very far away: WHAT?!
Daniel: WHAT PLANET ARE YOU FROM?!
Ed from very far away: ED IS FROM EARTH!
Daniel: BUT THAT IS SO UNEXCITING!
Ed from very far away: ED IS SORRY BUT THAT IS THE TRUTH!
Daniel: OK! THANKS ANYWAY!
Ed: ED SAYS, HAVE A NICE DAY!
Gren and Danielle: *blinkyblink*
Danielle: Ok. Last person of the day! Blue Jedi Hobbit 009 has THREE questions.
Gren: Ugh…will this never end?
Danielle: Nope! Chances are, we’ll bring you back to test out weird couples!
Gren: o.O;
Danielle: Anyway, first: ‘WHY are you named Grencia! WHY? What the HECK were your parents thinking?’
Gren: Hey! My parents liked it! And…so do I. *sniff*
Danielle: Second: ‘Have you seen my pen? I can't find it.’
Gren: Um…*looks under chair* Is this it? *holds up pen*
Daniel: Maybe. I’ll throw it into Trans-Computer Phase Space and she’ll get it eventually. *throws pen in Trans-Computer Phase Space portal*
Gren: Wow. Where’d you get that?
Daniel: ^_^ eBay.
Gren: …oh.
Danielle: Last question! ‘Can you sing the spinkybob triangle shirt song? PLEASE?’
Gren: Sure! Um…I’ll need some help though.
Daniel and Danielle: Ok!!
*lights dim, river dance music starts*
Gren: *appears in center of stage in kilt and does some mad river dance moves*
Daniel: *comes from stage left in Carmen Miranda costume and begins dancing along the perimeter of stage*
Danielle: *comes from stage right in Arabian court dancer dress and belly dances*
Danielle and Gren: *slowly move in front and back of each other doing their respective dances*
All: Spinkybob! Triange! Shirt!
Daniel: Ah-yayayayayayayayayaya!
Danielle: *Xena war cry*
Gren: Spinkybob Triangle Shirt! Spinkybob Triangle Shirt!
All: *fall to their knees* HEY!
*lights fade*
END
A/N: Ugh. I need to go to bed. ^_^;;;
Next up: Laughing Bull! Get your questions in NOW NOW NOW! ^_^
Thanks for the reviews everybody! Much appreciated!