1-25) You are in the clear!
You are just like the rest of human race, normal. You might have a
few mishaps, but who doesn't. If I were you I would say to myself
that I am good and in the sane area of life. Good for you.
26-66) You are in the pre-coach
region. You need to watch yourself and be aware of the growing
amount of people who hate you. You need to be watching your back
because someone just might be coming at it with an ice pick. They are
hoping to stop you before you become a coach and no one likes you.
Really, if you think about it, they just might be doing you a favor.
However, there is still time to change!!!! Please heed my warning, you
need to reconsider what you are doing. Things you might think are funny,
most people hate. You are getting louder and louder as the days go
by, you are starting to get really mad at stupid ass shit that makes
no difference and has next to nothing to do with anything in
other peoples lives. Please, please, change. If not for me for
yourself, for your friends, or for you mother if that works for you.
YOU HAVE BEEN COACHED! To be a coach means to go to
fuck a girl with your virgin uncircumcised penis, even though you have
lied about fucking numerous ladies, and you attempt to put the condom
on and you cum on your hand. You lie about EVERYTHING, motherfucker!
You for some weird reason lied about being a singer in a country band,
and playing at the best bar in Indy, where ONLY the best performers
play, and you also said you play the harmonica, but in all reality we
believe that you play the skin flute. You sing like a dumb
motherfucking Native American asshole, because Indians aren�t really
people anyway. Also..........you are one mother FUCKING eighth Native
American. WHITE WHITE WHITE! I don�t hate the Indians, just coaches.
You also keep your roommates' change in your spaciously comfortable
foreskin. With that little dick, you couldn't possibly have that much
space in your foreskin inhabited by your zygote cock. You said that
you won $500.00 dollars on the 2002 super bowl. BULLSHIT! You
wouldn't have bet on the Patriots, because they took away your native
land. AMANDA WHO??!?! To be a coach is also to be the loudest piece
of cowboy wannabe shit on the planet. You are at a 12, and we need
you at a motherfuckin 2 asshole. Whenever there is a black person
around, you fuckin' talk like them as much as possible, but you sound
more like a southern comfort gerbil with a king sized cock in it's
mouth. MMMMMMPPPH MHPHM HMPHM FAG! By the way, no matter who you
are, where you are from, or what your background is... cowboy boots
are fucking STUPID, and you probably wear them bowling, and to the
beach...I see it now.... you holding hands with fluffy, the only thing
to ever love you...your fuckbuddy goat, as you run down the beach
wearing nothing but swim trunks and cowboy boots. Oh yeah, and by the
way...when you are a "grown up" and you get "mad"...you don�t just go
around and throw shit around or break shit that isn�t yours, like that
glass to the fire extinguisher or the trash can in the men�s bathroom,
and you probably scream in native tongues while doing it even though
you are fucking white as the driven snow in the morning. You are
whiter than toilet paper that has wiped a metamucilite's asshole. And
when you sing, you swing your head back and forth until I want to
punch you bananafaggot!
You also say that you have had one million and a half surgeries. FOR
WHAT? Getting beaten with leftover pasta at your hick land farmhouse?
Maybe someday when you are out working on getting that neck a little
redder, you will get in a nasty accident and have that sinfulness cut
off the end of your dong. And by the way you are a retard! You went
to school here and you got a job at McDonalds. You worked there quite
a bit, and I will give you credit for being a good worker. BUT
shithead you fucking slept in through all of your classes and got
dropped from school. THEN (here's the icing on the cake) you stopped
going to work too and you got fired like the load on your hand. Then
you sat at home alllllll day and became a bigger loser with weird
cystic acne on your shoulders and here�s the WEIRD part.... you grow
BACKHAIR over your cysts so it doesn�t look as bad. OH JESUS! Then,
you enrolled in the army. For a 5-year plan. IN THE MIDDLE OF A
WAR!! You aren't the brightest shade of yellow on the corn in your
shit! You had a physical taken, and then you said that the doctor
reminded you about the pins in your leg that you NEGLECTED to tell
them about, and said that you forgot about them, even though you
talked about them like it was the most popular book on the shelf. You
said that you old doctor didn't write the pins down on your permanent
record because he was "doing you a favor". Whaaaaaaaaaaaatever. What
doctor would do that? None of 'em. I think you lied about THAT too
because you want to look like a man! YEEAH I HAVE METAL IN MY LEG!!!!
IM A MANNNN WOOOOOOO...........You're a fucking liar, a fucking
sinner, and a fucking pile of horse SHIT! Die and rot in the deepest
darkest pits of blackest hell where Satan pokes you in your stupid ass
forever with his fiery cock n' balls because that�s the way you like
it...burning the hair off your asshole while his floppy balls bounce
on your nut sack like a rubber ball. YOU HAVE BEEN COACHED!!!!!
BITCH and if you commit suicide over this you are a puss.
The writers of this slam claim no responsibility for the suicidal
tendencies of Jon Robinson. Go jack off to the Muppet Babies homo.
Also...no offense to uncircumcised people...we know some kick ass people
with a little bit of extra love from above on their penis. No offense to
them. Just to coach.
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