© Copyright Ute Oettel 2006 - 2007

Scrubbashing (part 5)

*

Nick was on time when he stopped his Ford Ute in front of the pub half an hour later. Carrie notice that he had changed his dirty clothes and cleaned his oily hands; the sleeves of his dark shirt were rolled up while dark and opaque sunglasses were hiding his eyes.
The short way from the pub´s door to the car had been hot and sultry but the agreeable air-condition inside the Ute let her taking a deep breath.
"How long will it take?"
"About two hours. Are you ready?"
"Yes!" Carrie´s eyes were shining!
"O.K."
Once again Carrie got the feeling of this car, the power of this V8 engine when Nick steered the Ute on the highway. A short glance at the passing buildings of Tarlington Creek before the bushland surrounded them once again. The pastures beside the road were abandoned, not a cow could be seen among the knee-high grass, not a creature left or right beside the highway. The speed pressed Carrie into the seat when she turned her face and watched Nick. One hand of him was clasped around the steering wheel while the right arm was lying relaxed on the door´s rim. It let her heart beat in a hasty speed, she felt the exciting tension in her body - it was Nick McKinley, the man with whom she would spend the whole day. Hadn´t she dreamt of it during the last days? And although Carrie didn´t really know if she was doing right, if she would have the right to approach him so early after his wife´s and Kevin´s death, she couldn´t stop it.
Nick suddenly looked at her:
"A Penny for your thoughts!"
"No, no." She laughed and peered once again over the dashboard to the highway ahead. Not a car was there, only dust and the loneliness. "It could be embarrassing!"
A second in silence passed before Nick kept speaking:
"Let´s make a plan for today. I intend to make my visit first - I only wanna tell them that I´m coming back later that day. Then I´ll bring you to the town center, buy the petrol pump and meet you later on again. Do you agree?"
A visit? New queer thoughts were rushing though Carrieïs mind. Whom he wanted to visit?
Slightly touched by jealousy she nodded:
"It´s all right. I´m able to manage it. But don´t forget me there!" Carrie joked.
"Of course not. What do you think of dining together at the late afternoon? Tarlington Creek hasn't much to offer regarding the food. I think I´d give all for a delicious Chinese meal. And you?"
An invitation - Carrie felt happy.
"I´d love it, too"
The humming of the engine took possession of the coming silence before Nick rummaged in the side bag of the door and brought a brochure to light.
"Are you interested in visiting the Stockmen's Hall of Fame? I´ve visited it years ago. Fantastic. It´s worth to spend one or two hours in there."
Carrie took the brochure and turned the page. It was only a low murmur when she read the description:
"I´ve heard of a Qantas museum there!"
"You see, Longreach has much to offer but if you wanna see it, you´ll need a car. I could...!"
"Oh, Nick, please. It´s too much. I´m already owe you very much. I can´t ask for a company for the whole day long. Deal with your things and don´t pay any attention to me. Just drop me off in the town center. It´s O.K.!"

Nick gnawed at his lips and listened to the music from the radio. He was grateful of getting the chance to spend the day with Carrie but there was something she had to face. Longreach wasn´t only the town where he would buy the car part for Carrie´s car - it was also a good chance to visit his sister Lisa and his daughter Melanie again.
How many weeks had passed?
Nick was still unable to take Melanie back to Tarlington Creek. The sorrow and grief of the last months had made a man out of him who wasn´t able to care for himself not to mention for a four-year-old girl.
His glances followed the highway which headed northwards in a black line. The heat was flickering in the distance and only now and then the oncoming traffic interrupted the loneliness. He loved this land around and he loved Tarlington Creek. Often Lisa, his sister, had asked him to move to Longreach, but in vane. Nick was a man who wanted to stay in the real Outback, in a little village where everybody knew each other.

"Queensland is beautiful!" Carrie´s voice roused him out of his thoughts. "It´s much
more greener than around Taylor´s Crossing but this is amazing!"
"You´re a lucky one to see this landscape in sunshine. The summer comes and with it often rain and thunderstorms. We´re here close to the tropical zone!"
"Taylor´s Crossing seldom sees rain!"
"Why have you moved to Adelaide?"
The topic changed to this special time of her past she wished to forget. Carrie cast her eyes and shrugged her shoulders:
"I don´t really know. At first I was visiting a boarding school but later, as a teenager, t´was thrilling me. The city life. I thought this was my life, but...it wasn´t!"
"I´m.....glad that you´ve decide to come back into the Outback."
"Really?"
The tension arose and Carrie began to sweat despite the air-condition. Nick turned his face and looked at her. She couldn´t see his eyes through the sunglasses - a fact which bothered her.
"Really. I like your company, Carrie!"
Somehow nervous she leant back again and tried to hide her trembling hands between her legs. The face of Kevin came to her mind. Had she really loved him?

They passed Blackall and Barcaldine, two bigger towns than Tarlington Creek and headed westwards into the heat. The landscape changed. Wide pastures, brown and dusty, flanked the highway and only seldom a tree or a bush. The signs beside the road they passed told Carrie that they were approaching Longreach, the well-known town in the hot and dry hinterland of Queensland, the capital city of stockmen and squatters, of cattle stations and farmers.
Their talking during the next hour was gliding into banalities which didn´t really interest Nick nor Carrie. Only the strained tension between them stayed and increased as the outskirts of Longreach shaped out of the flickering heat.

*

Nick suddenly turned off and left the highway to use one of the bumpy streets which were leading deep into a residential area. The houses left and right of them where only one-storied high, with large verandahs around to protect the people from the sun and wooden fences on the boundary to their neighbours.
Carrie felt unsteady. She didn´t dare to ask whom he intended to visit. It would maybe break her heart. Or why he hadn´t told her who was living here?
"It won´t last long. I only wanna tell them that I´ll come back when I´ve dropped you off in the town center. Is it all right for you?"
"Sure!" Came short and choked out of Carrie´s mouth.
Nick steered the Ford Flacon Ute along the narrowed street and stopped in front of a house which was a dream for Carrie. Built with bricks and wood it nestled to a couple of high and shady trees at the boundary to the neighbours. The tops of the two high palm trees in the front garden were moving in the hot wind. An old car was standing on the driveway, stuffed with boxes and......toys.
"If you wish you can come with me. Lisa would be pleased.......!"
"No, thanks." Carrie replied and began to sweat after the air-condition stopped. "I´ll stay here!"
Nick nodded and got out of the car. Carrie opened the side window to let the dry air float into her lungs and to listen to the rustling of the trees. Although she didn´t want to do it she couldn´t help to follow him with her glances. A knock at the door, seconds of silence before a young and good-looking woman came around the corner of the house and squinted into the sun. Her dark hair was tied up at the back when she stopped and laughed. Wearing a short skirt and a thin-strapped Top which showed
everybody the beautiful suntanned skin of her shoulders she stopped and seemed to linger. Her feet were bare when she nearly cried out:
"Nick!" She ran to him, flung her arms around his neck and laughed. The scene gave Carrie a stitch into her heart. Why she had agreed to join this reunion?
"How´s Andy?" Nick´s spoken words hardly reached Carrie´s ears.
"He´s fine. He´s still in the hospital. There had been an accident last night, close to the town center!"
Carrie tried to look away but her glances went back to the scene again and again. The anger in her heart increased. She had been stupid to think that a man like Nick had waited long to get a new love.
The gestures became unmistakable after the voices became low. The woman - Lisa - urged him to come in but Nick gave a sign of refusal. He pointed to Carrie and nodded.
"Oh, come on, come on!" Carrie grunted, stretched her head back and saw a further person running around the house. It was a little girl, also barefooted, who was nearly staggering. She hesitated, denuded her teeth and smiled as she darted to Nick.
"Daddy, Daddy!"
Carrie nearly fainted. The floor beneath her seemed to shake when she saw how Nick lifted this girl up to his arms and kissed her. It was like a nightmare, a scene which was passing her eyes in slow motion. The thin arms of that girl flew around Nick´s neck and an endless happy expression took possession of her face.
"Have you missed me, Melly?"
Melly!
The blood drained from Carrie´s cheeks when she tried to calm down her exciting breathing. The sweat poured out of her pores when she fumbled for a hold. Why hadn´t anybody told her that Nick had a young daughter? Why hadn´t anybody told her that Kevin´s car hadn´t killed only a young wife but also a mother of a young girl?
Carrie´s world just caved in and the reproaches returned to her mind. Wasn´t it also her fault that this girl had lost her mother? Even when Nick could forgive her that his wife had died at the scene of accident he would never forget that she had been at Kevin´s side, Kevin who had brutally dragged the mother from this girl´s side.
A bad nausea urged her to look away, down onto the floor.

"Carrie?"
Nick´s voice roused her out of her thoughts. He was still standing beside this woman and beckoned her.
What should she do? Becoming rudely and staying in the car? But hadn´t she already done enough to hurt this family?
Her numb legs nearly gave way when she climbed out of the car and walked along the driveway, towards Nick and his daughter. Seconds later Carrie - a good actor since her early childhood - set a faked smile upon her lips and tried to calm down her bleeding heart.
"This is Carrie Duncan." Nick turned to his sister, still Melanie in his arms. "You know, I´ve told you about the woman at the scene of the accident!"
"Yes, yes! Hi!" Lisa shook Carrie´s hand.
"Carrie, this is Lisa, my sister!"
Sister!
Carrie was about to slip from reality. Why she had thought that Nick....ah, nonsense, she shook her head and kept smiling.
"Hi, nice to meet you!"
The little girl on Nick´s arms turned her face and pressed the lips together. A shy glance reached Carrie before Melanie whispered something into Nick´s ear.
"No, my dear, she doesn´t come from Longreach. She comes from far away, from South Australia." Nick turned to Carrie and was blind for the fighting in her heart:
"This is Melanie, my daughter!"
"Hi Melanie. You have a nice place to live here!"
Melanie´s twinkling eyes seemed to study Carrie before she nestled to her father again and asked:
"Will you stay, Daddy?"
"For awhile. But at first I´ve to bring Carrie to the town center. Then I´ll be back soon, O.K.?"
Melanie nodded. Nick put her down to the ground and set his cowboy hat upon his head:
"I´´ll be back as soon as possible, Lisa. There´s something I have to buy!"
"Andy will be here as well when you return, but.....what about you Carrie? Don´t you wanna join our meeting as well? I´d be happy....!"
"No, thank you, Mrs.......Lisa! But I´ve yearned for days to make a shopping tour. I´ll meet with Nick later on!"
"Are you sure?" Lisa was confused.
"Yes, I am!"
Nick tapped at the brim of his hat, blinked at Melanie and headed for his car again. Carrie, with legs as heavy as lead, followed and couldn´t get rid of the smiling Melanie, how she had flung her arms around Nick's neck. Breathless and exhausted she let herself sink deep into the seat and closed her eyes.
Nick bent to her and took her cold, pale hand:
"Are you all right, Carrie?"
A couple of tears were filling her eyes. She looked out of the window to avoid his glances.
"What´s the matter!"
"Nobody......has told me...that Kevin has killed a.....a mother of a young girl!"
"Hey!" Nick whispered, turned her face to him and caressed her cheek. The effect of this bodily contact forced more tears to come up to her eyes.
"I thought I´ve made it....that I can cope with the guilt. And now this!"
"You´re not guilty, Carrie. How often shall I tell you that it´s not your fault? And
Melly was still too young to really understand."
For the best Carrie would have flung her arms around his neck like Melly had done, but she wasn´t allowed to, she wasn´t a part of his family, nor was she his lover. With a quick motion she straightened up her body, rubbed the tears from her eyes and smiled:
"You´re right. Can you bring me now to the town center?"
Nick lingered at her side, her hand still in his one. Why he hadn´t thought what this meeting could cause, could do with Carrie? She was still more weak than he had expected. Why she couldn´t cope with the reality? Why she wasn´t able to accept the past?
When Nick turned the car Carrie caught a last sight of Melanie McKinley, who was still standing in front of this large verandah, waving good-bye. Was this also meant for her, for Carrie?

The busy and colorful town center of Longreach took Carrie´s mind off her worries. It was a sunny and hot working day, a place where hundreds - how it seemed - of people from Longreach and around met each other. The last signs of Carrie´s tears dried and she studied the open shops which they passed
with her eyes.
"I´ve forgotten that a town could be so busy!" Nearly overflowed with enthusiasm she laughed although the visions of the McKinley family didn't want to vanish.
"Where shall I park?"
"Just stop there!" She pointed to a free parking lot on the area between the two lanes, rummaged for her bag at her feet and waited.
"When will you return?" She asked.
"In two hours?"
"Two hours? I think you´d spend more time with your daughter!"
Nick laughed short:
"It´ll be enough. Melly isn´t used to meet with me so often!"
Carrie´s voice was low and stern when she opened the door:
"You should change it!"
"Maybe!"
Silence wrapped them in, before Carrie pulled herself together. And she would have left the car when Nick hadn´t grabbed her hand to hold her back. Her heart was racing, her breast went up and down in excitement when she looked at him. His eyes seemed to study her. Was she able to sense the fighting which took place deep in his heart? More seconds passed when Nick and Carrie were only sitting there on the seats, staring at each other, before he drew his hand back and smiled:
"Have a good time! And don´t eat anything - you know, the Chinese restaurant is waiting for us!"
Carrie get off the car, closed the door and stepped back to see Nick´s Ute disappearing in the bustle around.

She was confused and irritated. Nick had a strong attraction for her and the longer she talked with him the more she felt exhausted by his nearness. Never before she had felt so much for a man, neither for Kevin nor for her former boy-friends. It was like a magical spell which let her blood boil. But Carrie didn´t dare to show him her own feelings, to tell him her what he meant for her. Was he maybe only so nice to her because of the dreadful experience which connected them? Could she dare to step into
his life, into Melanie´s life?
Since long it was clear for Carrie that she didn´t want to start only an affair with Nick. There was more she felt, more than she could explain.
Carrie turned, shouldered her bag and focused her attention to the long and busy shopping street. There was a music shop, a book shop and a souvenir shop where she could buy a postcard. It suddenly came into her mind that she had been so busy with the situation in Tarlington Creek that she had missed to call her parents by telephone a second time. The only information Helen and Jack had got was that she had arrived in Tarlington Creek by good health.
Lost in a reverie she crossed the street and stretched her face against the sun. It was a beautiful day despite the beginning and the news about Nick´s daughter. Here in Longreach she was far away from all, from Kevin´s grave, from her hometown and her parents and also from Tarlington Creek and Nick.
Was she destined to flee again and again for the rest of her life?

*

Carrie went on a shopping spree with the last dollars she had. It satisfied her much to stroll through the shops, to hear the background music and to see the bustle around her. She bought a couple of postcards, wrote on it and sent it away; she decided to stock up on her wardrobe and chose a beautiful new thin strapped Top which she was going to wear at the rodeo event in Barcaldine. Her thoughts went back to Nick and she smiled while she took a seat on a bench outside the shops. Half an hour left - she would wait here, here beneath the sky of Queensland.

*

At the same time, only a stone's throw away, Nick stretched his numb legs and stood up from the couch.
"I have to go now!"
Melanie came running from the kitchen and stopped at his side. Lisa, heaved herself up as well but couldn´t find a smile. Her sad eyes were watching this scene in front of her, a scene which often broke her heart.
"Nick, can I talk to you?" Lisa asked plain.
He nodded, squatted down to Melanie and pinched her into the cheeks.
"You´ll be a good girl, won´t you. Obey your aunt!"
"Yes, Daddy. When will you come again?"
"Soon!" Hadn´t he promised this before?

Nick and Lisa stepped from the verandah as she lingered:
"How long will it last until you take Melly with you. Don´t misunderstand me, she´s welcomed here and I love her but......she also needs her father!"
This unpleasant discussion was horrible for him. Nick avoided to look into his sister´s eyes and drew his hat deeper into the face.
"Lisa, my life is too complicated. I can´t take her, she needs a woman, a mother."
"I can´t understand you, Nick. Is it still because of Nicole´s death?"
He shook his head:
"I´ve learnt to cope with it. But, Lisa, when Nicole hadn´t died she would have moved to Longreach despite this all. There´re no differences between visiting rights after a divorce and our current life. Let her grow up here, Lisa, I´d be very grateful!"
The tears in Lisa´s eyes slipped over the rim and ran down her cheeks. She hardly felt his kiss at her face.
"And what would be if you find somebody new?"
Nick lingered in his walking and cast his eyes. The voice of his sister nearly broke his heart. Wasn´t she right? He loved Melanie but it wasn´t good to take her back to Tarlington Creek, away from her friends and a female hand.
The question echoed in Nick´s ears. What would be then? His thoughts went back to Carrie and her behavior two hours ago. Had she been only shocked about her new awoken guilt, how she called it, or was it because of Melanie´s existence?
What would be when he found a new love?
"Have you already found her?" Lisa asked sincerely.
"Maybe!" Nick set off for his car and left Lisa and Melanie behind.

*

"Here I am."
Carrie jerked when suddenly two hands were grabbing for her waist and pulling her up from the bench.
"Are you crazy? I nearly got a heart attack!" With her trembling hand on her fast moving breast she shook her head but realized that she didn´t really mean it. It wasn´t the fright which bothered her soul but Nick´s presence. With a smart grin on his lips he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his Jeans and cast his eyes:
"Have you had a good time? Have you roamed the shops around?"
"Can´t you see it?" She lifted the plastic bags with the different advertising logos on it. "But now I´m nearly stony broke. I hope that Luke will pay me in time!"
"I´m sure, he will. Come on. What´s planned for now?"
It didn´t please Carrie that Nick seemed to be far away from the visit he had made. Was he an uncaring father? Although Carrie hadn´t wasted much thoughts about children and their upbringing it bothered her a little bit. Had she misjudged him? Carrie decided to approach this topic later on, maybe on their way back to Tarlington Creek.
"You´ve once offered me to show me the town. Does this offer still exist?"
"If you wish - I´d like to do so." Nick took the last bags and headed for his car. His voice changed to the monotonous singing of a travel guide:
"Longreach has approximately 8000 residents; it´s the capital city of the cattle farms...!"
"O.K., O.K.," Carrie bit upon her lips to suppress a laughter. " Let´s skip it!"
"Hmm, the Qantas museum? It´s still open!"
"Then let´s start!"
Carrie was still laughing about Nick´s jokes when they got into the Ute. It was really a nice day and the bothering last hours, the vision of Melanie and Lisa faded away. It wasn´t her business to dig in his past, in his life and in his behavior.

At the late afternoon first signs of a coming rainy night were formed at the sky. White fluffy clouds grew larger and larger and became a thin veil later on. The rain was maybe a long time in coming and maybe it wouldn´t reach Longreach tonight but Carrie realized the changing of the season. They visited the Qantas museum outside the town and joked about the old and simple planes of the past. Nick was charming, he tried to impress her and couldn´t hardly be stopped to tell her about his job as a pilot. He hadn´t used planes before but to see the Outback from the air was the greatest what he had ever experience. He promise her to take her with him one day - she had to see it.
They nearly forgot the time and when Nick was driving to the Stockmen´s Hall of Fame, they had to face the early closing time.
Carrie´s heart was boiling, she felt a strong cheerfulness which she had never felt before. It was like a drunkenness without alcohol and at the end of the day she wished she could stop the time. Only a few hours later and they both were back in Tarlington Creek, in their real life.
Wasn´t it able to live here with Nick forever - far away from reality?

As the sun was about to sink and painted the walls of the houses red and orange, Nick steered his car to a restaurant near the town center. The neon sign above the entrance told of a Chinese restaurant.
"Oh, I´m very hungry!" Carrie murmured and closed her eyes for a short moment.
"T´was a nice day, wasn´t it?"
"It was and I thank you that you´ve brought me to Longreach!"
"Do you feel better?" Nick looked at her and was about to take her hand but stopped one moment later. It was like a miracle, he thought and let the day pass by in his memories. Since months he hadn´t felt so much joy to be here in Longreach, to be in company with a human being. It wasn´t only Carrie as a woman but as a person who understood him. The guilt to be responsible for Nicole´s death had decreased and he had found the way back to life.
"Yep!" Carrie answered. "I think it was a good decision to come to Tarlington Creek, trying to come to terms with the ghosts of the car accident!" Carrie began to giggle like drunken. "I´ve to consider if I should stay here forever!"
"Do it!" Came short from Nick´s lips as he opened the door and got out of the car. Carrie followed by becoming realistic again - the day would end soon and then?

They were seated next to a large window, covered with painting of impressions of China and Asian letters. The light of a distant lamps hardly reached their table so that Nick´s and Carrie´s faces were veiled by dimness. She laid the menu aside and hesitated. The pictures of Nick´s sister and daughter came back to her mind.
"Why you haven´t moved to Longreach as well. I mean..." Carrie began and kneaded her fingers. "You could take your daughter to you!"
"Have you talked to my sister?" A touch of anger wrapped Nick´s words in before he came to his senses again and shook his head: "You´re sounding like Lisa!"
Carrie condemned herself of finding his sore point. It wasn´t her intention to spoil this beautiful day with Nick.
"Sorry, it´s not my business, Nick!"
"I have my own life in Tarlington Creek. I love Melly but I can´t offer her much. You know that I´ve two jobs to do, it´s...it´s not the right environment for a girl."
"How...old is she?" The lump in Carrie´s throat tried to choke her. She was walking on thin ice, Carrie knew.
"She´s getting five in December. A kid in this age needs more a mother than a father - or a female hand!"
Wasn´t he right? What could he offer her? A wild life in a little Outback town with a father who is either in his garage or on a cattle station to round up the herds. Carrie knew that Nick wasn´t the kind of man who got boozed each week-end but he wasn´t also a good father in this mental state. Carrie was urged to change the topic otherwise this day would crash into a disaster for them both.
With a low smile on her lips she bent over the table and suddenly ask:
"By the way, when weï´l start the next week-end?"
"You mean the rodeo event?"
"Yes. Barcaldine isn´t very far away. When it will start?"
"Let´s depart at 9 o'clock - or is it too early for you? I mean you´re working in the pub the night before!"
Carrie gave a sign of refusal and was happy to see the happiness returning to Nick´s eyes:
"I´ll get it. When this day is as good as today I´ll love it. What´s there on the show-ground. Bull rides? Wild broncs?"
It took her by surprise when he suddenly grabbed for her hand and studied her:
"Don´t tell me that you intend to join in!"
The feeling of his hand let her becoming confused. There was it again, the deep emotion in her heart. Carrie was still suppressing the call in her heart; she didn´t want to admit that she loved him, that she would do all to stay at Nick´s side.
"No, I love to ride but I´m not stupid. Years ago, in Taylor's Crossing, I´ve seen how a young man was trampled to death by a bronco. This cured me of becoming a professional rodeo woman! - Really!" The touch of doubts in Nick´s eyes let her laugh: "I love horses. But after that I devoted my attention more to watch it from the stands. But..." Carrie began to dream. ".....but I envy the men on the broncs!"
"Even when you´re skilled to ride one of these horses I´d stop you. It´s too dangerous!"
A couple of seconds in silence followed before Nick leant back again and said:
"It´s a big rodeo event. I´m sure that they´ll have bull rides as well. And besides a cattle auction. And....you will never forget the delicious steaks of Barcaldine. It´s a must to eat them!"
"At first I hope that they hurry up in bringing me my Chinese meal - I´m starving!"
Nick laughed and agreed.

*

Carrie was in the habit not to wear a watch but as the pale ball of the full moon arose from the dark bushland she knew that it was very late. Satisfied by the wonderful and delicious meal she was leaning at Nick's Ute and closed her eyes. The hot and stuffy air in the restaurant had made her tired but here, outside, with the taste of the bushland, she recovered and felt her strengths coming back.
"I wish this evening wouldn´t end!"
"I agree with you!"
Carrie´s glances went up into the starry sky, only veiled now and then by fluffy clouds. The stars here in the Outback seemed to be more brighter than in the city. They twinkled and sent their spectators into an unreal dreamland. They were so close, as if she could touch them when stretching out her hand. Carrie knew that this impression would increase when they left the lights of Longreach behind. Deep in the bush, only surrounded by the pitch darkness and the nature, it seemed than as if the earth had a
real domed roof, as if the world was small and forgotten by the time. The still warm breeze caressed her face and her skin and let her shiver.
Why this evening had to end in about two hours?

Nick, and it seemed Carrie as if he lingered for a short moment, rummaged for the key and surrounded the Ute.
"Are you ready to start?"
"To start a two hour ride? We have no choice, have we?"
"Let´s see!" Nick vanished in the darkness and started the engine.
Only one breath of this beautifully nightly air - then Carrie nearly jumped into the car and fumbled for the safety belt. The orange lights of dashboard lit up Nick´s face in softness when she remembered, only for a short time, the night of the accident. It had been the same darkness, the same light of the dashboard but the driver next to her at this night was neither drunken nor careless.
The vision flew away when she felt the powerful engine again. A beautiful day was about to end, to become a memory in Carrie´s heart.

*

The Matilda Highway was deserted and seemed to end at the edge of the beam of the headlights. The monotonous humming of the engine and the continuing singing from the radio let Carrie feel sheltered and safe. The power of the V8 engine dragged the Ute over the asphalt as if nothing could stop it at last. The darkness around had wrapped them in - the world had vanished, only Nick and her were here, somewhere lost in time.A short and silent laughter slipped from her lips when she pondered about her feelings. If she had read such description in a book she would have called it trashy - but tonight
it seemed as if all could become true. Nick was at her side, she saw his outlines in the dim light of the dashboard, and was contented. What would bring the next hour?

It was after 50 kilometers when Nick reduced the speed and switched the radio off. They passed a road sign which told of an intersection in two kilometers distance, but Carrie was blind for it. She absorbed the darkness and the mystic edges of the beams of the headlights. It was a fantastic night.
"We can take a short cut. Are you bold enough to trust me?" Nick suddenly said but kept watching the highway ahead.
"Off road? Tonight? Isn´t it madness to drive through the bush by night? Your Ute isn´t a four-wheel-drive!"
He laid his hand upon her thigh and patted it:
"Are you bold enough?" He repeated his question and reduced the speed again to turn off at the intersection which came into the beams of the headlights.
Carrie shivered - not because of the short cut through the nightly bush but because of his hand. Her heart began to race in a new rising hope. Was he attracted by her? The Ute stopped. Nick turned his head and pointed out to the highway and to the right side, to the beginning of a plain gravel road:
"Which way?"
"And it´s really a short cut?"
"Yep, we´ll maybe save fifty kilometers or more!"
Carrie became skeptical as she studied the dusty and uneven gravel road in front of them:
"But not much time, I think. You can´t drive so fast on gravel roads!"
Nick´s voice became stern:
"Carrie, you should trust me. I wouldn´t put your life at risk. It hasn't rained for long, the road is dry and safe. I know each bend and each dry creek!"
Doubts entered Carrie´s mind. Could she trust him? He was living here.
"And what will happen in the bush?" Carrie couldn´t help to joke about his proposal.
"Will the fuel peter out? It´s an old trick...!" Carrie laughed and noticed that Nick joined in. "I trust you, Nick. Let´s drive through the scrub!"
"You don´t give a damn about my real intention?"
Only for a short time Carrie was confused but as she heard Nick laughing she leant back into the upholstery and smiled.

The monotonous noise beneath the wheels changed. Pebbles from the dusty ground were hurled against the car while the sand which was whirled up tried to enter the interior through the small gaps among the Ute. Had Nick raised the speed? The beams of the headlights did no longer lit up a dark band of asphalt - it was a gravel road, rutted and old but often used and loved by the people of this district.
Carrie learnt that Nick was really able to drive across this road blindfolded; that he was a professional in racing through the scrub.
A long forgotten thought returned to her mind - scrubbashing!
Was this also practiced here around Longreach, Blackall and Tarlington Creek? Carrie remembered the large amount of fans in South Australia, around Taylor's Crossing and other districts in the Outback. And the landscape here nearly invited the people to do the same, to race through the scrub to reach the limit of the driver and the Utes and Pick-ups.
It had always been a secret event, forbidden by the police but joined by hundreds. And despite the high speed and the often dangerous roads Carrie had felt more fear in Kevin's car on the highway than here beside Nick in the scrub. And as if Nick could read her thoughts he tapped at the steering wheel and asked:
"Have you recovered from the accident....I mean the mental strain of driving with a car?"
"Have you forgotten that I´ve used a car to drive from Taylor's Crossing to Tarlington Creek?"
"Sometimes it´s hard to return to the car, to the....speed!"
"It´s O.K." Carrie replied. She hadn´t suffered from thatkind of mental strain, and she thanked God for it.
"Good to hear it." He paused and gnawed at his lips while the darkness was passing by in high speed. "What do you thinking about.......scrubbashing?"
Carrie became stiff. Was it his intention to practice scrubbashing now and here? In the darkness and somewhere between Longreach and Blackall?
"Don´t tell me that you wanna carry out scrubbashing here?"
"Ah, just only a poor imitation - what do you think of racing through the scrub? I´m sure that you´ve joined scrubbashing events in former years, haven´t you? Come on, come on!" He laid his hand at her cheek and stroke it. "I know you love it. There´s a big fan club around here. I don´t wanna cross the limit tonight but just let us feel the freedom of the nightly bush!"
He knew her heart, he knew what she really felt, Carrie thought. Was it their childhood in the Outback which let them feel the same?
Since long her heart had made a leap; she loved the exciting feeling of the racing through the scrub, she loved the feeling of being free. Forgotten were the visions of the accident - it had been a different time and a different place. The lonely Outback roads were not the busy highways of the south.
"Will your car survive it?" Was the only question which bothered Carrie´s flushed hot face. She still felt his hand at her cheeks although he had put both hands back to the steering wheel seconds ago.
Nick laughed, changed the gear and pressed his foot flat to the floor.

The centrifugal force pressed her into the seat after she had opened the window to feel the air in her hair. Yes, she loved it to see the road ahead vanishing in speed. The potholes now and then didn´t matter her much, she stretched out her arm and tried to grab the airstream. How old was she now? Only 16 years of age? When she had joined for the first time in her life such scrubbashing? She couldn´t remember the name of the driver but she recalled the feeling in her heart. It was a passion of the Outback people which was passed on from friends to friends. The low cheering at her side let her smile. Nick was in his element; he raced across the dusty road, swerved to the right and to the left to find the lane again. Carrie bent to the window and stretched her face against the wind. Her heart was intoxicated with speed, her mind had reached a state of rapture - all her problems she left behind for minutes.
"Carrie, come in. The scrub becomes thicker!"
"All right but I love it!" Carrie shouted. The open window made it hard to understand each other; noises of the flying pebbles and stones and the howling of the airstream nearly deafened her. It was a feeling which she didn´t want to miss.......
It seemed as if the Ute was flying across the sand, only interrupted now and then by a bend or the loud rattling when passing a cattle grid. Carrie cheered and denuded her teeth as she laid her head aside to gaze at Nick. Also he was laughing and emphasized his rakish behaviour in a strange way. His hands moved over the steering wheel, grabbed it at each bend to let it run free soon after. Only for a short moment Carrie wished to drive for herself, to feel the freedom in her own hands. But tonight it was
also exciting to sit here and to see Nick working with his powerful car. How long would be the route, for how long would they feel the freedom? Carrie was totally lost in a reverie when suddenly the reality dragged them back...

A full braking and a hard thud let Carrie fly into the safety belt which took her the ability to breathe. The car started to skid but stopped a few meters later in a cloud of dust.
"Damn!" Nick cursed, opened his safety belt and was about to jump out of the car.
"What was it? Nick?" She nearly wailed shocked and put her hands upon her mouth.
The headlights only lit up the environment next to the car; a huge cloud of dust and sand had reached them and wrapped them in. Nick´s shadow outside surrounded the car and stopped in front of the bonnet.
"Nick?" She asked low and had to suppress upcoming tears. "Nick, what was it?"
"A kangaroo!" He murmured before she saw him squatting down. Carrie was too scared to get off the car, to see this poor animal which had lost it´s life because of their seek for fun and speed. The only thing she could do was to pray that it was already dead. Here among the lonely bushland there was no help in sight. The fun and joy she had felt just seconds before had vanished and left behind a strange
guilty conscience.
Nick knew that there was no need to examine this kangaroo - it was dead; it had jumped onto the road, directly into his car. Had it been blinded by the headlights? A touch of guilt took possession of his mind despite the fact that this happened very often here in the Outback. He rubbed the beads of perspiration from his face and took a deep breath. It didn't really matter him that the bumper of his Ute showed a dent, he was more touched by this innocent kangaroo which was lying to his feet.
It came suddenly into his mind that he was still far away from a normal life - that he still had to digest the car accident in the last December. It was only a kangaroo but it seemed as if he had been careless again when driving a car.

Carrie nearly stumbled when she reached the lit up road in front of the Ute. It was a small kangaroo, maybe a young one. It´s head was stretched to the back, the eyes were closed and beneath the fur she could notice the pool of blood, oozing away into the dry ground. A bad nausea hit her when she fumbled for a hold at the bonnet.
"Is ....is it dead?"
Nick nodded taken aback while he struggled to his feet again.
"Nick....it´s spring time!" Her voice nearly broke. Tears in floods were coming up to her red eyes. "We have to look if there´s a Joey in....in.....!"
"Carrie, it´s a male kangaroo!"
While swaying she thanked God for this fact. To find maybe a Joey in the pouch of this dead kangaroo would have broken her heat. She wouldn´t have endured it to wrapped it into a blanket and to bring it to a nearby veterinarian. She knew that this could be the worst thing which people had to do - rescuing innocent Joeys from killed kangaroos or wombats.
The floodgates of her eyes were opened and Carrie pressed her hands up at her burning eyes. She sobbed and surrounded the kangaroo only to see how worse it was hit.
"He hasn't felt anything, Carrie!" Nick tried to console her.
"I ....know." She kept sobbing, still her glances fixed at the kangaroo." But I´m an animal lover through and through!"
A faint laughter slipped from Nick´s lips before he approached and offered her a helping hand:
"There´re only few women who ain´t animal lovers!"
"Oh, Nick." Carrie closed her wet eyes, leant against him of a suddenly and pressed her red hot face deep into his shirt. She felt his nearness, his warmth and heard this heart beating beneath his shirt. It was racing or was it her own heart which suddenly took her breath.
"Calm down, dear!" Nick´s consoling words were nearly whispered into her ear when he suddenly clasped her trembling body in his arms and held her tight. It was such kind of nearness for which she had longed, being in his arms, at his chest. The stream of tears died slowy away while a new feeling in her heart took over the place of the sorrow and grief.
Nick´s hand stroke over her back, tenderly and somehow with care. Carrie shivered, it was a shower of a new born feeling. Her own heart was nearly bursting and she felt the hot blood which flushed her face.
Nick kept silence. Was he also sensing this exciting tension? With a short motion he lifted his hand, touched Carrie´s chin so that she had to look into his eyes and rubbed the last tears from her cheeks:
"I don´t like it to see tears in the eyes of....a beautiful woman!"
The ground beneath Carrie began to shake and it made her difficulties to answer:
"Thanks....for that compliment!"
"I really mean it!" Nick let his hand hold her neck and bent down - to lingered at last. But Carrie stretched herself up to him and met him on the halfway. Their lips melted away to an ardent kiss - to a kiss of passion and craving. It was like a fire which took possession of Carrie; she felt her nearly bursting heart, felt the demanding greed in Nick´s lips and seemed to forget all around. It paralyzed her, it let her fly away into her dreams.
Nick craved for her; this man whom she thought to love. Carrie felt comfortable with him, she felt his tight embrace around her waist, his body at hers and couldn´t get enough from his lips and his passionately kisses.
The feeling of the fender at her backside told her that they had moved, that both of them had forgotten where they were.
How far would Nick go? And herself? Would she allow him, a man which she only knew for days, to take her so early? She wasn´t the sort of woman who let the happening start fast - even when it was only an affair.

But only seconds later Nick´s lips loosened from her and eased the passionately tension. The light of the still working headlights lit up their faces only in dimness but the smile which lipped from Nick´s mouth let Carrie´s heart long for more.
Forgotten was the dead kangaroo, the darkness of the bush around and the long way which was still lying ahead. It didn´t matter her if she would reach her bed in two hours or later.
"Do you feel......better?" A slight stern tone was mixed up with his joking words.
"Yes, much better!" She hadn´t thought that the last minutes had made her so exhausted. Her breast went up and down in a hasty speed and dared to burst. With his arms still around Carrie´s waist he pulled her away from the fender whereby his hands began to wander down to her hips.
"A pretty good short cut - we´ll need a longer time to reach Tarlington Creek!"
Carrie giggled low. It was exciting and on-turning to stand in Nick´s embrace, so close to his sweaty body, to his tall figure but something in her mind tried to wake her up. The past had still a strong influence over her. She wanted to start an affair with Nick slowly and carefully. He bent down again and kissed her, less passionately but still with fire:
"I don´t know if......!"
Carrie shook her head and stepped back a little bit:
"No, let´s start.....slowly. The day was exciting and....upsetting enough!"
He nodded assent but could hardly let his arms off. Seconds passed, then one minute. Nick turned and stepped into the beams of the head lights again, lingered for a moment and dragged the dead kangaroo from the road.
"A feast for the crows!"
Carrie hardly listened to his words, she was still standing at the fender and tried to calm down her raging heart. Nick´s shadow returned again, hesitated and gave her a smack at her backside.
"Don´t dream. It´s a long way home!"
Carrie replied with a seductive smile, surrounded the car and got into it again. When Nick started the engine the tension in this car had changed. Half an hour ago it had been full of enthusiasm, of joy and secret feelings but now it was a drive through the silent night. No scrubbashing, not a sign of overwhelming emotions. Carrie saw the shadows of the bushland passing by in a normal speed, dark and mysterious. The music of the radio was still playing, softly and faintly. None of them spoke a word for the next minutes - it seemed as if it would break the new born tension into pieces.

Even when Nick had got the intention to continue the scrubbashing he wouldn´t be able to find the line. His thoughts were miles away and he had difficulties to concentrate himself upon the gravel road in front of him. He had been overwhelmed by his feelings of a sudden. Carrie in his arms, her beautiful face in front of him - feelings which he had forgotten since long. He craved for her, for her lips and body. It hadn´t mattered him to stay here in the bush, to feel the passion beneath the nightly sky but Carrie had brought him back to reality.
Nick wasn´t sure what he longed for, what he was seeking for. A night with Carrie? A love-affair or more?
The black demon of his last relationship was still existing. It had started wonderful and full of passion and love - but it had ended soon after in a disater. His heart was still wounded - the same heart which had let him crave for a woman only minutes ago.

They reached Tarlington Creek far after 10:30 o´clock that evening. Nick steered his Ute to the pub and waited with the running engine.
"Will you give me the key of your car!"
"Oh," Carrie rummaged in her pocket. She had forgotten the damaged fuel pump of her Toyota. When had Nick told her to repair it? Only this morning? Or had it been years ago?
"Here!" Her hand trembled when Nick took it and held it tight.
"I think your car will be ready at noon!"
"I´m coming then!" Carrie swallowed and was about to sink deeper into Nick´s charming eyes. "It....it was really a nice day! - Good night!"
She was so nervous and excited that she only had got one wish - to go into her room and shut the door behind.
The low: "Good-night, Carrie" from Nick hardly reached her ears, when she jumped up the two stairs to the verandah and rushed into the pub. Carrie hardly noticed the last two customers, Luke and the part time cook assistant Tom behind the bar; she only darted along and tried to cope with all the new feelings of this day.

*

With wet hair and only a large beach towel around her naked skin, she left the bath half an hour later and sank down deep into the soft mattress. It was still hot inside. The running fan at the ceiling wasn´t really able to cool down the room. Minutes ago, while standing inside the shower cubicle, Carrie had felt that she was in love with Nick McKinley. It had captured her of a sudden, when the warm and agreeable water was running down her skin. She recalled the feeling of his hands at her waist and hips, his lips and passion.
It was really love, and maybe a stronger love than she had felt for Kevin. But exactly this under- standing had stopped her to agree with him at last. A simple affair would destroy her feelings, would break her heart. Carrie looked at the clock on the table and jerked when someone was knocking at her
door. Intoxicated by her feelings she forgot her outfit and opened the door.
"Luke?" Nick´s brother didn´t fit to her thoughts. "What´s the matter?"
Luke hesitated, moistened his lips and sneered while he leant against the frame of the door:
"I´m sorry that I´ve disturbed you!"
"No worries."
"I´ve a letter for you. Pat tried to reach you this noon but you were not here!"
"Thank you!" She took the envelope and was about to read the sender´s name when her attention was caught by her employer. He hadn´t moved but studied her openly. It sent her a shiver down her spine - these two brother differed so much in their behaviors. Carrie would never trust Luke but Nick. The only fact which told her of their relationship was their good-looking outward appearance. Carrie tried to close the door but Luke held it open.
"Have you pondered about my invitation to the rodeo - or will Nick really get the Saturday off from the station work?"
"Nick won´t work then."
"By the way," Luke still held the door open and let his dark eyes wander over Carrie´s person, "Have you seen him today? I´ve tried to call him but he wasn´t at home nor at work!"
"He´s brought me to Longreach today - but please, don't misunderstand me, I´m tired. Good night, Luke!"
Carrie breathed in relief when the door slammed shut behind him. Was she doomed to stand between two brothers? She wasn´t blind for the fact that Luke was fond of her but compared to Nick´s behavior, Luke would have difficulties to accept a 'No'.

The letter came from her mother which sent her a small amount of dollar notes.
>> I know that your savings won´t last long. Take these dollars, my dear. I hope you´ll get what you hope to find there in Queensland<<
Carrie smiled, took the notes and murmured:
"Oh, Mom, you know me very well. Thank you!"

*

Nick wasn´t alone when Carrie stopped at the open doors to his garage the next day. A young man, maybe as young as Carrie, was standing at a sideboard, repairing a dirty car part. He only looked up, nodded and called for Nick at the rear. The nervousness returned to her tired body. She hadn´t slept well last night and was tempted to ask Luke for a free afternoon.
The Toyota of her mother was standing next to Nick's Ute where the dent at the bumper reminded her of the last night.
"Hi!" Nick said and rummaged in his pocket for the key. "As promised - your car is ready!"
Here, lit by the daylight and embedded by the environment of the garage, Nick seemed to be a different man than last night. He was wearing his faded working Jeans, a dirty T-shirt and was cleaning his hands with a towel.
"Your car has still a one-year guarantee. Try to get the money back from the manufacturer!"
"By the way," Carrie brought the dollar notes from her mother to light and offered them to Nick:
"Here´s the money!"
He was astonished and blinked to her:
"Have you robbed a bank? Haven´t you told me yesterday that you´re stony broke?"
"My mother sent it - she knows me well!" Carrie felt unsure and at the wrong place. Besides she noticed the nosy glances of the young man whom she could see when peering over Nick´s shoulder.Nick took two notes and put the last dollars back into her hand:
"It´s enough. I´ll give you the invoice later - Carrie...!" His hands suddenly embraced her waist:
"The next days I´m off to work on Milligan Downs."
"But you´ll be back on Saturday, won´t you!" Luke´s words returned to Carrie´s mind. She wanted to be at Nick´s side during the rodeo, and only at his side.
"Of course - even the Milligan Family will be there. I don´t wanna miss it to spend the day with you!" Nick´s bold manner let Carrie melt. For seconds she forgot the young man behind Nick and the busy main street only meters away; she only felt his tenderly kisses and was tempted to flung her arms around him when she receded.
"Nick!" She whispered and let her glances wander to the man in the garage. He had turned his attention back to the car part on the table - but Carrie also noticed that he was grinning.
"Oh," Nick turned, let Carrie off and pointed to the man. "This is Brian. He´s my help and he runs the garage when I´m not here. Brian usually works on the petrol station with Mike."
"Hi!"
Brian couldn´t stop his grinning as he turned and nodded at Carrie.
"And," Nick continued." He´ll become one of the best riders on bareback broncs at the rodeo - won´t you!"
"Nick overstates it!"
"But he´ll join the broncs rides - and we´ll cheer you up!"
"Thanks!"
Carrie turned and was stopped at the door of the Toyota again, out of the reach of Brian's nosy ears. Tenderly Nick took her hand and pulled her closer:
"T´was a wonderful time yesterday. I hope we´ll do it again!"
"What?"
He bent down to her and whispered:
"What ever you want - scrubbashing or........"
Carrie opened the door and grinned:
"See ya´, Nick - I hope you´ll be on time the next Saturday!"

*

The week just flew by. Carrie often used her free hours to sit on the balcony of the first floor, to watch the so-called bustle on the main street of this little town. The funniest thing was that the reason why she had come to Queensland seemed to vanish in the haze of her feelings.
Tayloer´s Crossing and the car accident were far away - not only counted in kilomteres but also in years. Was she cured of being responsible for the death of Nick´s wife?
Nick, her thought returned to the man who had saved her life. Wouldn´t her family and friends call this relationship a false one? A relationship between him and her couldn´t be based on real emotions but only on guilty conscience and gratitude. But Carrie knew that they were mistaken. It wasn´t the man who saved her life whom she loved but Nick McKinley, resident of Tarlington Creek.
Would they understand?

Carrie took the shift at the evenings and hoped to see Nick but during the following days he didn´t come. Kelly, who had got a vicious tongue, told her of his work on the station, of a round-up to sort out cattle for the market. Carrie would have loved it to see it, to be at Nick´s side.
The job behind the bar didn´t really suited her - the air was too stuffy, the music too boring and the customers often too taciturn to say more than a simple 'Hi'. But she needed the money and the diversion. The urgent question for how long she would work here before she returned to Taylor's Crossing couldn´t be answered. She pushed it away, out of her mind, out of her heart. It was not really important yet.

Chapter 6.

It was Saturday morning, a sultry day in November - the rain of the last night had changed the landscape and the last patches of the morning mist were dying in the rising heat. The sun was still hidden by a cover of clouds but it seemed that the day would become bright and clear at the afternoon.
Carrie switched on the fan at the ceiling and smoothed her skirt in front of the mirror. It was her favorite skirt, black as coal, tight-fitting and with the edge far above her knees. In Adelaide, she knew, this outfit wasn´t flashy but here in the Outback it could cause a sensation. A sneering slipped from her lips when her thoughts went to Nick. How would he react to see her in such outfit and not in her Jeans and shirts she used to wear?
The new white thin strapped Top which she had bought in Longreach, suited her much, emphasizing her sun-tanned skin of her shoulders and the neckline. It nearly clung at her sweaty body as if it was only made for her.The small golden necklace, a present from her brother, was twinkling in the sunlight.
Carrie didn´t exactly know how this day would end but it would certainly become a day of her liking.
Once again she turned in front of the mirror and nodded with pride.

Her hands trembled a little bit when she turned the door knob. The knocking at the door, a few minutes before 9 o'clock in the morning, had roused her out of her reverie. She was nervous and excited to see Nick again.
"Hi Nick!" She welcomed him, stepped aside and pushed the door shut again. "I´m ready soon. I...!" But Nick grabbed for her hand, stopped her and drew her into his arms:
" - 'Hi Nick ' - is it all? Haven't you missed me?"
Carrie´s heart made a leap and she shivered in excitement when his arms went around her waist. So less fabric separated his hands from her body, from her skin.
"I have but you didn´t come into the pub and I thought.......!"
"You shouldn´t think!" He bent down and kissed her.
"But I do!" Carrie replied, wriggled out of his embrace and was seeking for her money.
"Just wait a little bit. I don´t wanna be depend on you."

Nick couldn´t believe what he saw. Was this really Carrie Duncan? His breath was getting short when he had caught the first sight of her at this morning. Hadn´t she already turned him on when wearing less attractive clothes? What was her plan - making him crazy?
He rubbed the sweat from his face, pushed the hat into his neck and tried to ignore the craving feeling for her.
"You´re looking......nice, today, Carrie!" His lips were as heavy as lead as he moistened them.
"Thanks!" She answered while stuffing the dollars into the pocket of her skirt.
"You´ll steal the show from the other women at the rodeo!"
"Don´t overstate it. I´m sure that there´re many more women with nicer outfits!"
"But," Nick sneered and opened the door to led her out. "None of them will sit next to me in my car!"
Carrie pretended that she hadn´t heard it, passed him and headed for the stairs. She knew very well that his glances languished for her, for her outfit and her body.

"Have a nice day!" Kelly shouted from the kitchen while chewing at a piece of an apple.
"I´m sure we´ll have one!" Nick answered for Carrie. He remained in a short distance to her and let his eyes wander over the curves in front of him; over the sun-tanned skin, the shoulder-long dark hair and the rest of Carrie´s body which seemed to form a unified whole with her dress. The naked legs which ended somewhere at the skirt confused him already now - and the journey hadn´t really started yet.

The sultry air outside conceded that Carrie was right in refusing the consideration to wear her jeans; already now beads of perspiration appeared on her face, running down her temples. Carrie got into Nick´s Ute, - she realized that the dent at the bumper had been beaten out and that Nick had washed the mud and dust away - leant deep into the upholstery and tried to stretch her skirt down to her knees. Despite their closeness of the last days she didn´t want to stimulate Nick´s appetite for her so soon.
Still she wasn´t sure if a simple affair would do her good. If she became certain that he reciprocate her feelings of love she would have given herself to him but Nick hadn´t mentioned anything of that yet.
An affair, maybe only for weeks, would break her heart. And this she intended to prevent.
Nick´s mood was brilliant. His constant grin on his lips let Carrie smile as well when he started the engine.
"You´ve said that you´ve joint many rodeo events. In Adelaide?"
"No, of course not. I was at home during the school holidays. Sometimes we drove to Broken Hill. T´was a big event there!"
"And you haven´t wasted a thought of participating in the Rope & Tie category?"
Carrie lingered and pondered about her youth in Taylor´s Crossing. How she had loved to drive with her family to Broken Hill, to see the beautiful broncs, the bull rides and the good-looking riders with their recklessness and courage. Since her fifth birthday she had ridden on horsebacks and she loved it until today. At first it had bothered her, when moving to Adelaide, that there was seldom a change to carry out her passion but the city life had then suddenly made it to drag her under it´s magic spell. Parties on the beaches, in the discos and the overwhelming feeling of the night life.
Only the last months in Taylor´s Crossing and now the spirit of Tarlington Creek had dug up again the memories of her long forgotten passion.
"Carrie?"
She jerked and was roused out of her thoughts by Nick´s voice and his hand at her bare knee. They had already left the town limits and were heading northwards to Barcaldine.
"Sorry, but I thought about the days in Taylor´s Crossing. What have you said?"
"If you wanna try it to ride a horse at the Rope & Tie category. This rodeo is a nearly private one, everybody from around can take part!" His hand stayed for a while before he put it back upon the steering wheel.
Carrie burst out laughing:
"No, I can´t say if I´d stay in the saddle. My last ride was years ago. But do you think that I can have a look at the broncs?"
"Sure!" He answered low and paid attention to the highway ahead. This drive hadn´t much in common with the return trip from Longreach last week. The tension between them increased and prevented that the enthusiasm of joy and happiness arose.

They paused at a road side stop near Blackall, ordered two large breakfasts and hot strong coffee before they set off to Barcaldine again.

*

A week-end in an Outback town meant many cars, people from the far away stations and a rarely seen bustle in the streets. And when a crowd-puller, like a rodeo, was about to show itïs sensations it seemed as if the whole population of the land around had turned out.
As soon as Nick and Carrie reached the outskirts of Barcaldine she saw the first traffic jam since long. Car by car was standing on the main street, trying to get a parking space next to the show ground outside the town.
"So much bustle - I can´t really believe it!" Carrie was delighted.
"The weather is good and it´s week-end, what do you want more?"
They left the town center again and already saw the outlines of the erected tents and fences which were formed out of the haze. Small trucks at the side, Pick-ups , Utes and normal cars were parked somewhere in between. It seemed as if chaos had taken possession of the guests and visitors but the experienced employees of the town council did their job well.
Only after half an hour Nick parked his car beneath a shady tree and climbed out of it.The first sunbeams came through the clouds and tried to dry up the still moist ground. Carrie felt the heat at her skin and head and envied Nick his broad brimmed hat. When the sun kept burning down Carrie would run the risk to get a sunstroke; why she hadn´t taken her own hat with her?
Nick at her side rolled up the sleeves of his light brown shirt and squinted into the sun:
"I think the riding won´t take place before noon. Let´s stroll around. Are you thirsty?"
Carrie shook her head. She was too fascinated what was happening around her than to feel thirst or hunger. Was there still a slight passion for the city bustle in her heart? This large amount of people and these cars - it reminded her of Adelaide, of the beaches at the week-ends.
Nick laid his hand around her waist, pulled her closer and set off to a stall which sold cold drinks. The excited feeling in her body returned. Around her was all she loved and liked - a wonderful day was lying ahead.
"Maybe a sip of beer?" Nick´s cool beer can seemed to allure her with it´s shining metal. It was really hot and sultry today.
"Alcohol in the heat - a nice arrangement. But...O.K.!" Carrie took the cool can into her sweaty hands and sipped at the brew. Beer hadn´t been her favorite alcohol drink during her time in Adelaide but here it was usually used like water or soft drinks. Nick´s arms went around her as he took the can aside and bent down to her:
"Alcohol abandoned all moral obligations!"
"Really? Then I´ve to look after you that you don´t drink too much!" Carrie laughed and pushed Nick away from the stall.
"You´re a cruel woman, do you know that?"
"I know, I know!"
They walked along the paddocks and pens of the cattle auction and stopped now and then. The dimensions of this rodeo and auction were small, it was like a meeting with neighbours and friends, but it was somehow more exciting than an anonymous party in Adelaide.
As they surrounded one of the tents a short call of Nick´s name let them linger.
"I´ve hoped not to see you here!" Nick joked and let Carrie off to shook hands with Bill Mason, the foreman of Milligan Downs.
"Will you terrorize the broncs or the bulls, Bill?"
"Aye,! You know that a horse which I can´t ride doesn´t exist!"
The boasting of this stockman let Carrie laugh. Nothing was more refreshing than the men from the Outback and their showing-off. Bill, somehow irritated by Carrie´s provocative outfit, took off his hat and pretended that he was miffed.
"Ma´am? Do I hear a laughter?"
Carrie studied this man in front of her and remembered that it had been him who had suggested to show her a part of Milligan Downs on horsebacks. She liked him, he was friendly and pleasant with a touch of charm and wittiness.
"I´ve seen many of this kind of man landing in the dirt after seconds!"
With a slight laughter Nick interfered:
"What are you riding? Only the broncs or the bulls as well!"
Bill was still looking at Carrie before he put on his hat on again and shrugged his shoulders:
"I think the broncs. I´ve already seen the bulls. Pretty big ones. It´s not my intention to finish this day in the hospital although the nurses should be nice there!"
Nick let his glances wander around. The entrance of the nearby tent was often pulled open but it seemed as if he missed someone.
"Have you already seen Brian!"
"Yeah, he´s in there and makes a registration!"
"O.K. - Bill," Nick tapped at his shoulders and nodded." See ya´ and good luck!"

"Isn't Brian too young to ride a wild bronco?" Carrie asked moments later when Bill had vanished among the crowd.
"He´s a good rider and also a good mechanic but I´m worried a little bit about him!"
"Why!" She stopped and held Nick´s arm.
"He´s injured but I couldn´t talk him out of taking place in riding bareback broncs!"
Suddenly he turned, let his eyes wander over her body and was about to kiss her as he lingered and the faint reek of beer touched her face:
"Why so interested in other men? Am I not enough?"
There was neither a man here nor in Adelaide who let Carrie´s heart more swell than Nick and for the best she would have cried it out. But Carrie didn´t, she was afraid of doing wrong, of losing him at last.
His lips touched her mouth with passion and the fire in Carrie´s blood was kindled again. Intuitively she flung her arms around his neck and pressed her excited body against his one. It didn´t matter her that hundreds of people were around them. Carrie only sensed this kind of feeling again, the love which let her heart swell and pound hastily. Nick, confused only for a second about her unexpected doing, kept exploring the passion on her lips and let his hands wander over her back.
The tight grip at her waist was it that let Carrie shiver and she suddenly knew that she would never be able to refuse an affair with Nick. Her body craved for him and Carrie knew that he felt the same.
The loudspeakers began to drone when the announcement was made that the ridings of the bareback broncos was starting in about half an hour.
Nick loosened his tight embrace and gasped when his eyes tried to read her mind:
"Will you drive me crazy? Then I can tell you that you´ve done it well!"
Nick´s stern words let her heart miss a beat in excitement. Was it love which she saw in his eyes?
"What do you thinking of me??" Faked indignation could be heard among Carrie´s words as she asked amused. "Do you really think that it was my plan to seduce you?"
"What else?"
"You conceited macho!" She laughed and laid her head at his chest. Only then Carrie remembered that the sun was burning down. She returned to reality and screened her eyes against the glaring ball at the sky:
"I think I´m gonna be cooked or grilled here in the sun. Haven´t they told that the show of the broncs is gonna start soon!"
"Do you wanna see it now?" Nick was still irritated and nearly breathless.
"Yes, please!" She loosened her arms from his neck, smoothed her skirt and Top and avoided Nick´s glances.
"All right. Maybe this brings me down again"
Carrie tried to ignore his suggestive words and sought for a way through the crowd of people. For how long she hadnït seen a good show of a rodeo? Years? Or already decades?

Only a few meters away and out of the sight of Nick and Carrie´s attention a pair of eyes was following them. A light touch of anger flashed up when they recalled the last visions which they had seen. A tight embrace, a passionately ardent kiss and the agreement of them both to go as far as could be.
Luke McKinley was standing near a stall for food and crushed the empty can of beer in his hands. It was his forth beer and he knew that it wasn´t his last one for this day. The jealousy in his heart nearly choke him and the already new born veil of dizziness in his mind changed the reality. Carrie Duncan was a beautiful woman and she suited more to him than to his brother Nick. Couldn´t she see it?

Carrie came from Adelaide, had experience the city life as well as he had done. She would never be happy to stay in the Outback forever and he - Luke - had often thought of leaving Tarlington Creek again, to open a bar or a pub in Brisbane. Infected by the joy of a city life his thoughts had often whirled around; how it would be to live there. And with Carrie at his side the life would certainly change to a paradise. The sight of Nick´s greedy embrace, of his nearness to her well-proportioned body, had driven Luke nearly mad.
"Oh, damn!" He cursed, threw the can away and turned to forget his worries.

*

Part 6

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