| President: |
Luc Charmasson [email protected] |
| General Manager: |
Bob and Doug McKenzie (or Doug and Bob depending on who you ask and how they're playing the office politics!) |
| Head Coach: |
Borje Salming. The calming influence on the Hosers, Borje's
duties include bridging the gap between the McKenzie brothers and
the rest of the sane world, that and keeping them out of the every
day hockey operations as much as possible. In related notes, Harry
Sinden has befriended the GM's and is said to be mentoring their
rapid rise through the hockey community.
|
| Assistant Coach: |
Sid McKenzie. Cousin of the GM's, has been brought in
to "learn the ropes" and eventually take over the coaching duties.
However there is wide spread belief in the organization that Sid has
a much greater chance to join the patients of R.C.I.M.I. then of
ever coaching the Hosers.
|
| City: |
Kitchener/Waterloo (Bob and Doug couldn't bear to be too far
> > from Oktoberfest every year)
|
| Arena: |
R.C.I.M.I. (Royal Canadian Institute for the Mentally Insane)
In a clearverly orchestrated deal (I know, I'm not sure how they
pulled it off either!) Bob and Doug have come to an agreement with
the management of R.C.I.M.I. where they have free use of the arena
and half concessions as long as half the seats are set aside for
patients and staff.
This, however, has created a unique situation where the pricing
structure of seats has nothing to do with the proximity to the ice
but instead focusses on how close the seats are to the allocated
"patient" seats. Therefore there are only 7,453 seats available to
the general public, of which only 47 are considered "safe" by city
by-laws.
The other major drawback of this arena is that because of the
coach's rather distinguising facial features, he regularily gets
mistaken for a patient after games and is drugged and thrown in a
cell by the orderlies. He has, however, come to make a new friend
on the "inside" and a large native american can usually be seen in
most Hoser organizational meetings.
|
| Team Colors: |
Plaid. Not any particular shade, just plaid. Both
Bob and Doug are colour blind (And usually bling drunk) so as long
as they can see plaid they're happy.
|
| Logo / Mascot: |
A cartoon version a piece of walking back bacon,
complete with toque, Kodiac boots, a hockey stick and a splatter of
ketchup on his back. "Backy" as he's affectionally known by fans,
is widely thought to have the hardest job in sports, as he is likely
every game to be pounced on at least once by one of the drunk GM's
looking for a quick snack and has been found many a game, cowering
in a closet, blubering like a stuck pig (No pun intended).
|
| Rivalries: |
The Hosers have no rivalries as of yet, but considering
the GM's tedencies to pick fights whilst drunk at their games, a safe bet would be to list all teams here...
|