So there's this kid, this chick, this ex-priest, and a hippie, and they all go to a restaurant...
John Walking Pine: "I'd like some merlot, please."
Italian Waiter: "I'll need to see some ID before I can serve you some wine."
Alistair "Evar" Morris: -waves a hand in front of the waiter.- "You don't need to see any ID."
Italian Waiter: "I'll have to see a lightsaber before I fall for any Jedi mind tricks, sir."
Rushing to write down quotes as they come...
Matt: "It'd be easier to type them up."
Jeremy: "Well, I don't have a typing.... thing."
An exchange an ST should never, ever have to go through...
Jeremy: "I haven't even gone into the details yet, can I finish!"
Rob: "No!"
Jeremy: "He just whipped out his hippie identification card."
Trying to think through amnesia and use nonexistant martial art skillz in the middle of a firefight...
Jeremy, to Rob: "You suddenly remember something through your amnesia... you're NOT a ninja!"
Ah, the joys of a catholic with Avatar Five...
Matt: "I call on the buddy christ to heal me!"
After perhaps the fifth lucky Dex+Brawl roll involving kung fu movie moves
Jeremy, to Rob: "I demand you take a specialty in ninja flipy kicky things."
So, what's everybody wanna do with their downtime?
Matt: "Just chill, suck on the node?"
After the fourth summoned raven spirit finally takes care of the last hostile vampire...
Paul: "How many ravens does it take to kill a vampire?"
Hackie: "Four!"
Matt: "Now if we could only get them to change a lightbulb."
More downtime...
Jeremy: "Okay, we're all back at the node. He's going to suck on it. Anyone else want to do anything?"
Paul: "I'll suck on it, too."
A brief pause...
Jeremy: "Anyone else want to suck on the node?"
Avatar Five and Streetwise three or four
Jeremy: "Ahh, yes. He has connections to the 'spiritual ghetto.'"
Matt: "For shizzle my avatizzle."
Summoning Raven into an abandoned church to ask for a favor...
Jeremy: "They're summoning the raven spirit in your church. Are you okay with this?"
Matt: "Eh. Sure."
Jeremy: "He's a liberal Catholic."
The Ritual completes...
Jeremy: "An obviously Native American man wearing a leather jacket with accompanying fringe and and blue jeans walks in..."
Matt: "And sheds a tear at all the littering."
Jeremy: -facepalms.-
The newest internet craze in the WoD...
Matt and Rob: "Catholic catholic catholic catholic catholic catholic catholic catholic catholic catholic catholic catholic, muslim muslim..."
As the night grows into two in the morning and we realize one of our players has a graduation to go to in the morning...
Rob (OOC): "Fuckin' shitass. Stay up for your god damn graduation."
Matt (OOC): "Allright. I was just goin' home and play Diablo 2 anyway."
Deciding how best to blow up a van...
Jeremy: "Are you sure you don't want to use the flames of righteous purification? It's just as vulgar."
Matt: "Allright. I'm holy strokin' it."
Jeremy: "Allright. What exactly does a holy stroke do? I mean... are you trying to get God to bitch slap the engine or what?"
Matt: "So... is Horizon under attack or something?"
Jeremy: "What?! I just dropped a ceiling, and a church, and several plasma bolts from the sky on your head, and you haven't noticed?"
Paul: "Okay, I'm oipening a hole in the Umbra so we can rescue Alistair and Skyye."
Jeremy: "Right.... your hole opens, sure, but paradox has happily twisted its other endpoint so that it is now opening into hell."
Matt: "I jump in!"
He wrote in Wingdings?!
Rob: I was doing it with a door.
She's got the bigger magical dick, then.
Jeremy:"Hey, it's not my fault..."
Paul:"Says god!"
Paul:"I should make a Hollow One..."
Jeremy:"Yeah, sure, go ahead."
Paul:"A Hollow One with Destiny Five... that would be so... so against the stereotype..."
Jeremy:"That would be Neville Sinclair."
Tyler:"Was he in a movie or something?
Jeremy:"No, I'm afraid being a werewolve's blood is a spiritual matter as well as a... matter... matter..."
Rob:I perceive that they're having a heart attack! And.... perception is nine tenths of the law?
Summarizing where our heros are...
Jeremy: Werewolves! Carrying the Ark of the Covenant! In Russia! It's beautiful!"
Jeremy:"He was experimented on by Nazis, though. Just imagine if they opened the Ark. His implants would melt! In an amusing claymation fashion!"
Jeremy:"Sadly, yes, Geography was one of my better subjects. As long as I have a map, I'm fine."
Paul:But they're buying souls! That's... bad bad devil people!
"Dude! George Carlin is in your phonebooth!"
"R2D2 was a slow motherfucker."
As an icebreaker...
"Play with my robot!