Beating Up a Retarded
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So this guy comes into my store and he's right away knocking shit over
and clumsy apologizing and laughing. I'm like "Watch it Jerk!" And
he's all giggle giggle. I get alot of wiseasses coming into my shop
and stealing shit so I'm like watching this guy thinking he's like
drunk or something. He goes down this aisle and five seconds later I
hear this big crash and rolling clatter- And I think "Uup! There goes
the soup can display! That mother fucker!" I run down the aisle and
he's all picking stuff up and giggling and I'm like just get what you
need and get out. He's all "Get what I need" yup yupping and stuff-
mocking me. So I fix the display as he does his shopping. At this
point I figure this guy is fucking with me and I'm ready for the next
thing. After ten minutes of shopping he brings his little basket of
goodies up to the counter. He is all like looking at the things like
he's never seen them before and asking me how much each item costs.
I'm like "Look mother fucker I'm not in the moods for your stupid
games!" I dump out his basket out on the counter and start ringing
stuff up quick-like and throwing it into a bag. He's all "Uh! Uh!"
like upset over my handling of the groceries. After I'm done I'm
like "$24.50" to this guy who is like staring at me. I'm like "$24.50
dickhead!" He like reaches into his pocket and pulls out this big
handful of change and dumps it onto the counter. He's all
"one...two.. three..." with the pennies... And at this point I've had
enough- I jump over the counter and grab the guy's arm and spin him
around half nelson style. He's all screaming and shit and I push him
out the door head first and he like crashes down over the garbage can
and all the garbage spills out over him and there was a milkshake in
there that practically landed on his head. I'm like "And stay the
fuck out dick!" I run back inside and grab his change off the counter
and run out and throw it on him. "Asshole!" I yell....-
Then this lady comes over and she's all "What the hell is wrong with
you!?" I'm like "This cocksucker came into my store- knocked over
displays! Wanted to pay with pennies! And was all laughing in my
face!" She's like "He's mentally challenged you asshole!" I'm like
"Damn right!" not knowing what she's talking about. And she's like
"He's retarded!!!" And I'm like- "Oh...uh oh...oops..."
 

othe oend

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