Rearing My Ugly Head
Oh so there was this bitch slut cunt walking down the street all, "Ooh.. look at me... look at me..." with the head going from side to side as she pranced down the street. I say to myself, "I'm gonna show this cunt my cock!" She's like heading right toward me and I like start fussin with my zipper getting all up to get it out for her to see. But my fuckin zipper is stuck! She sees me a-struggly with my groin area and I'm givin out the grunts here and there. Well that action already took the 'high and flighty' expression off her hookerface. Finafuckily, my zipper releases downward, I grab in on the schlonger and I whip him out. She stops dead in her tracks starin at it. I get my nice voice on with my don't be scared honey it aint gonna bite look. I tell her how she should think of my dick as a drunk travelling salesman and her fuckin rearhole is a scummed Motel 6 room. I tell her how my dick puts the "i" before the "n" and IN the butt it goes -I tell her. I tell her how they call me the Rumper Room Principal and she's the star student slut getting straight Fs. I done told her after that that I liked her especially anally and hope her caboose aint loose. She still stares back immobile watching my dick go up stiffy as I tell her stuff like- Vrum Vrum! Ferrari dick is looking for overnight garage storage in the butt-ocks. I take a step closer with dick in hand and tell her how wormy worm wants a rectum coat for christmas and shes buying! On that note she finally snaps out of her "I can't believe what I'm seeing and hearing!" stunnerlook and just turns and runs. I yell after her "Where you going honey? Then (all sweetly with my voice going up holding the last note I go ) I got the sandpaper condoms!" She knowingly just needs away from me fast but unfortunately for her- unfortunately for me- away is right infront of the speeding bus which whops her right out of this world and launches her corpse about thirty yards. I stare at the mess I made and the cars stopping and the commotion and watch for like an hour. No one notices me with my dick out with the brainsplatter on the street and all. Human nature dicktates that if you got two places to look- a guy with a dick out or a brainsplat splat, you take the brain splat cause heck knows how often do you see that?! Anyway, I slapped on my misery face but Im not sure if its for the same reason as the other gaukers. Mostly I think the crowdscene peoples were upset over looking how fast a nice life could get all snuffed out- but to me, my frown came from the waste of a perfectly good tunnel built for some backdoor dick diggin.