The Pope Makes Poop
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So the Pope was hanging out in the Vatican talking to
like the bishops or whatever when he got hit with a diarrhea wave. The Pope
excused himself and starts hustling to the bathroom- but he didn’t want to
actually run- him being the Pope and all. "Jesus…" the Pope
thought, "if you allow me to make it to the bathroom in time and I will
try harder to bring peace to the world..." But the doody pressure built
steadily and soon he realized he was having a brown-emergency. The Pope took
off his pointy hat, threw it to the ground and broke into a sprint- sweating as
his robes flapped behind him. He had hit a pretty fast stride but turned a
corner and panicy realized he had a long way to go before he reached his
personal pope doody room. He ran with god’s speed and thanked Jesus along
the way for delaying the accident waiting to happen. All of a sudden his robes
caught under his feet and he was airborne. The Pope flew through the air and
landed hard infront of a pack of nuns. They were all, "Oh my god! Your
holiness!" and like tried to help him up. The Pope's anus was barely
holding things in and this jarring crash didn't help matters. He told the nuns
to get the hell away from him and stumbled to his feet all tangled up in his
robes. "Fuck this shit..." the Pope mumbled as he pulled his long
white robes over his head and dropped them at his feet. The nuns were all
gawking staring at the naked Pope. (Pope always freeballs it) It's wow enough
for the nuns to see a naked man... but naked Pope! They were all speechless.
The Pope sensed the doody dynamite getting ready to burst out and he turned to
run toward his holy dumping room. With his backside to the nuns he took one
step... but it was too late -his holiness lost control. The Pope put his hands
on his knees and admitted defeat. The race was over and the Pope came in
second. The diarrhea had built up so much pressure that it blasted out
explosively. The Pope greatly appreciated the feeling of wet farty relief and
allowed himself to continue to unload spraying diarrhea out of his butt-
grunting "Jesus...Jesus..." as he buhblasted out the wet chunk style
doody. It seemed to continue for at least two minutes - constant fart ripping
diarrhea splatter splat. Finally relieved, he bent over and picked up his robe.
His backside needed wiping and there was only the holy cloth available- so he
had to make use of it. The soft white silk of his robes felt nice on his bottom
and it was quite absorbent too. He streaked it with doo doo skidmarks. With his
butt semi-clean he turned to look at his freshly made holy doody. As he turned-
he remembered that he was not alone. The pack of nuns were still standing
there... and they were absolutely covered in diarrhea splatter. The nuns were
bombarded with the Pope’s holy shit. They stood there stone-faced smiling
at the Pope looking like all shocked out. The nuns looked as if someone had
thrown a bucket of diarrhea all over them. The Pope, always thinking fast on
his feet cleared his throat and said, "Sisters... the new blessing is upon
you... Jesus told me that the holy fecal matter will bring you one step closer
to heaven and it was Jesus’ wish that I bless you in this fashion...
congratulations..." And lemme tell you, as the Pope headed back to his
chambers he was real thankful for his quick thinking during an awkward
situation. And hey, Jesus must have made doody when he was tacked up on the
cross- so I don’t see what’s so wrong with a pack of shit splattered
nuns thinking they’re blessed.
godgoo