THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE LYSOL DISINFECTANT SPRAY
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm in my car cruising the slut district all slow like. Gotta check out the
scene with the hookers and the lights flashy flashy and the kissy kiss neon
lips. At a red light a hooker leans in my passenger window and asks if I need a
date. I whip out the spraycan, spin it once in my palm then I spray the whole
area she is occupying with Lysol and tell her how she's contaminated. It's the
law. Right in the eyes the spray sprays. Full blast facial. She's wearing a
pink fur coat and high heels and she's all clomp clomp clumsily running holding
her eyes all "Ag!ACCH! My EYES!! ACCH!" Out into traffic she
scampers. The cars on the road are all screech screechy horns blary avoiding
her until one seems to mow her down proper. I hear the crunch and then speed
off. The night is young and I’ve got work to do. I decide to park and go
into an adult video store. I spray myself down with Lysol before heading in.
The guy behind the counter is like all involved with his newspaper and
cigarette puffing- as I head in. He's like "$1.00 admission fee." I
stare at him and am like "A dollar!? For what?" He's like, "A
dollar for looking... pay it or go somewhere else- this is a classy
estabishment.." And then he blows his filthy smoke into my face. The Lysol
kills all possible infection. I take out a nice crispy dollar and snap it in
his face. Out comes the Lysol and I spray the dollar down. He's like "Dont
spray that shit in here!" I crumple up the lysoled dollar into a ball and
put in my mouth. I smile. The guy is all starey stare like unable to be
realizing that I'm about to spit the dollar in his face. I then spit the dollar
into his face and am like "There's your fuckin dollar- you stain!"
He's like all shocked out stunner face now. The Lysol tastes tangy in my mouth
and I can feel it's cleansing action in my sinuses. The cigarette smoking
dogboy behind the counter is like grumbling picking up the dollar and smoothing
it out all grumble grumble the whole time. I start to browse the store. I see a
tape I contemplate enjoying and spray it down with Lysol and then take a look
at the back of the box- browsing like. I hear the counter guy all-"Don't
spray that shit in here!" I'm like, "Fuck you motherfucker!! I'll
spray this shit in your fucking face you mothercock dick suck fucker asshole
cock licker testicle gargler asswipe mother cunt sucker cockwang pussy slit
buttlicker scumbag bastard fag scuntwaddler greased up monkey shit stain ball
scuzz sucker anal intruding piss drinking shit eating faggot!!" He's like
all stunner faced again after my impressive tirade and is like looking all
scared-like as I run at him- growling. I have my Lysol in one hand and I'm
spraying it swirly whirly over my head like some western he-hawer from the
channel x cleansing zone. The cigarette he's smoking is like hanging from his
lips as I lysol him right in the face. THe flame catches the lysol- the flame
catches his hair -and eventually his skin- and up he goes just like in the
movies. His whole head is on fire and he's like running around in circles and
beating his own head with his palms. I stare at my flame boy creation and watch
him char up crispy for a while. I notice a customer who was in the way back of
the store is also checking out the flaming spectacle. I hold up the Lysol at
him and yell, "You want some of this!!!" He's like "Hell no
man!" I give him a squinty stare then turn away. I spray down the doorknob
to the store and head out into the neon lights of the new frontier where
chemical sprays are the new guns and cattle rustling is replaced by flaming
barbecued heads.
Zamzanfg