Greasing the Wheels
I feel that survival of the fittest should apply to humans in a much more literal sense. I mean, how often are you annoyed by some lesser who doesn't know what they're doing or 'thinks' they know what they're doing. Or maybe some cripple is holding up the works while you're waiting to get on the bus. It's like, "Ay cripple! Stay the fuck home!" eh? So anyway, walking through a crowded city you realize how much this planet is swarming with unfit annoyances that should be filtered out of life. People should not be judged by their race, religious beliefs, or nationality- they should be judge by their effectiveness as a useful individual. And anyone who is slowing down the gears of progress -by like not being able to give you the right fucking change- should be accepted as useless and destroyed.
Today as I walked through the city the level of annoying or incompetent people overwhelmed me. To make matters worse the thundering pouring rain seemed to slow everything down and dumb dumb people out even more. Some guy was clonking everyone in the head with his umbrella completely oblivious. A Town Car stopped short and put on his blinkers holding up traffic. Some crip with permacrutches was causing a problem at the entrance to a subway. Everywhere I looked I saw life being slowed by inadequate unfit people. I could see how a lion could take real pleasure out of bringing down a sick or injured zebra and munching away happily. The zebra herd would probably be happier too, knowing that burden of the lame has finally been lifted and they were free of the guilt that would come from the inevitable abandonment.
At the height of my frustration I saw something that changed my outlook on life. An old lady (80+) with a cane was wavering on a corner waiting for the light to change so she could cross. She had no umbrella and apparently seemed a bit lost and frightened. I stared at her for a while and I became aware of feelings that I didn't think I really had. Watching this old lady and the speeding cars fly by made me realize that I was being selfish with my attitude. I walked around all day grumbling about how society should change and how things should be sped up, but I never did anything to help matters. This old woman wanted to simply cross the street and because of the puddles, or the rain, or the speeding cars, or her cane, or the fuckin Alzheimers, or whatever- she was unable to do so.
I walked up along side her and asked her if she needed help. She looked up at me like an old wet mutt and stared at me with mostly blank eyes. She responded, "That's awfully nice of you young man..." and hooked her horrific arthritic claw into my elbow crook. At this point I realized the err of my ways. I had been complaining about the rust of society but I was not making an effort to help grease the wheels. With speeding cars flying past us and the rain coming down in sheets, I looked at the old lady and found my calling.
I seized the day- and this oldster's wrist. Kicking her cane out from under her she immediately slumped down. She looked up at me with confusion fear as I grabbed her other hand and held her up. I looked at her dead in the face and said, "You are unfit." I began to spin around holding her wrists in my hands- like we were dancing a grotesque square dance. I spun around in circles dragging her ankles along the concrete. I spun faster and faster and she began to look totally disoriented. Faster I spun, and eventually her feet left the ground completely. I was spinning her at arms length as her body became parallel to the ground. Her legs were straight out and I spun faster and faster. Letting one hand go I switched to holding only one of her arms and whipped her around in circles. She started to scream and as soon as I felt her shoulder begin to tear I let her fly.
I hammer throwed this useless oldster into the speeding traffic and she
cartwheeled sideways parallel to the street.. She was caught on the fly by the
grill of a speeding bus and then was immediately sucked underneath. The
bus tire ran over her from crotch to forehead crunching her into the street
sounding like a sack of walnuts. The bus continued oblivious to the fact
that it had smushed this woman and sped off. In the blinding rain the
cars that followed didn't see the bloody flesh boney mess that they were
travelling over and eventually this woman was practically flat. The
crunchy noise became fainter and fainter as I watched the cars speed over her
carcas, the traffic flow, the people crossing the street, and felt the flowbuzz
of everything moving a little faster.