Get a dog. Bury it in your lawn. Let
stick out of the grass. Mow the lawn.
Catch a cold. Save all snot in a jar. Get a job
in a restaurant. Use snot as salad dressing. Say
it is creamy italian.
Find an old lady. Punch her in the face. Run away.
Call someone on the phone in the middle of the night.
Tell them that you will kill them tomorrow. Hang up
Grab some kid from the schoolyard and bring him home.
Make him clean your house. Bring him back to the
schoolyard and tell him if he tells anyone he's dead.
Make diarrhea in a bucket and dump it into a baby
carriage with baby inside. Run away.
Get a cat and see how long it can live underwater.
Taste your own doody. Then compare it to strangers
Order a dozen pizzas to the across the street neighbors
and watch out the window. Then call the pizza place and
call em' assholes and tease them. Repeat.
Ask Mrs. Lederer to show you her butthole. She will.
Shoot at stuff outside.
Walk naked down the street making doody.
Go to an old age home and show your cock to everyone.
Crawl down the street army style and hump mailboxes.
Jism in your hand then go shake someones hand.
Get a boner and show your mother.
Borrow money from a friend telling them it's an
emergency- then buy something really expensive and tell
them you're not gonna pay them back ever and they should
go fuck themselves.
Watch Porky's while eating a ham sandwich while getting
a blow job from a pig while bacon sizzles in the kitchen
Pray to God for a world wide catastrophe
Stick your whole fist in your butt and hop around on
Get breast implants -and then send naked pictures of
yourself to all your ex-girlfriends.
Shit all over the place in your living room and then
invite friends over and tell em it's the new cool thing
and when they don't wanna shit too- attack them with
Cut yourself open and go to the mall and wipe blood on
people while wearing an I GOT AIDS t-shirt
Xerox your testicles and inter-office mail copies to
everyone with an arrow pointed to them that says 'here's
my nuts you dickhead mother fucker asshole' then sign
Frame someone in a murder/suicide.
Cook gerbils like lobsters. Serve with melted butter
Chop your arms off and then beg girls to tug your wang
cause you cant do it anymore- cause you got no arms.
Pull an eye out of your head and take a good look at
Videotape a doody coming out of your butt and send it to
Totally Home Videos and threaten to shoot the president
if they dont air it.
Drive your car around crazy and smash into stuff then
get out and start shooting.
Get a job as a teacher in some school and tell all the
kids to bring in something in their anus the next day
Doody in the toilet. Doody on the toilet. Doody in the
sink. Doody in the shower. Doody in a towel. Then tell
your host you have to leave early cause your having