Ayyyyy! Fuckin Fonz. Ayyyy! I stare across the table from this assholish blessed child snapping his fingers and fixing the collar of his leather. The girls all take turns sucking HIS cock. He walks into Arnolds like a fuckin god. Me? I'm the smiling freak with parents from hell and the brunt of all the best jokes. Oh I may joke about how my father hates me but when I'm smiling I grit my teeth thinking about the way he smashed a beer bottle across my face because it sprayed on him when he opened it. Or how bout the time when he came into my room and woke me out of a nightmare punching me. Or perhaps Richie and Ralph would like to know about how he used to throw lit matches in my crib. I keep it all in and sing my songs and play the nice guy. I'm fuckin sick of the nice guy. You cant escape your parents and my fathers hate is burned deep into my soul. Fonz is talking about how someone knocked his bike over like its the worst thing in the world. Oh no Fonz! Say its not true? Your bike?? Did it get scratched? Are you ok? Ralph is staring at a girls ass while faggit kiss ass Richie helps Fonz point fingers at potential culprits for the horrible crime. After being silent for too long I tell Fonz, "I know who did it."
"You know Pots? Tell me and I'll break their face." Fonz building his fake inragity holding up a fist.
I shadily look about the dive pit diner with the closet sluts and the letterman queerballs. I tell Fonz that I want to tell him in private in... his office. Some office! when you got a fuckin urinal in your office you know you cant be doing so hot. I get up from the table and walk to the bathroom. Richie and Ralph come to follow but I tell em "Fonz Only." I give em the extra stare.
"What's all the mystery Webba?" He says as we walk into the bathroom. I tell him I wrote it on the bathroom wall and point to the far wall. Fonz looks at me twice. I flash my million dollar smile at him. I can tell Arthur is scared like a pussy deep inside- but walks to the wall in disbelief that anything can be wrong in the world of Fonz. When he gets close to the wall I rush him from behind grabbing his hair (HIS HAIR) by the back and ramming his face face first into the tiled wall. His teeth seem to hit first and his front ones shatter back in his mouth. I spin him toward me and AYYY! him. I trot him across the bathroom and whip him into the mirrors. They crash down into the sink along with Fonz's collapsing body. I drag him semi conscious over to the toilet and hold his head over it. There's shit in the toilet and I push his face into it and flush. "I'm so sorry your bike got scratch Arthurrr." I whisper as he snorts in the shit water. The gurgling and choking warmed me. I stood over the greaser as he tried to get himself into a bit of reality. I took out my pocket knife, flicked it open and started to methodically saw the Fonz's head off. It was tough going at first with his jerking around but that just sped up the drowning. The knife was a little dull but once I got half way through I could pretty much tear the whole head off with a couple good yanks. I pulled his blood soaked jacket off and tried it on- it was a pretty good fit.
Breathing heavily and carrying the head of Fonz I yanked open the door and held the head high smiling from ear to ear. My pain subsided. Screams from Jenny Piccalo and Joanie filled the room first, followed the crashing of plates and glasses. Ralph gaves his classic pussy yelp and Richie completely fainted. I looked down at the jukebox and whapped it Fonz's head. 'Leader of the Pack' blared as I tossed the head spinning across the room spraying blood on the gang. The head crashed down on Richie and Potsi's table splattering their milkshakes all over them. "AYYYYYY!" I Yelled at the top of my healthy lungs. Thumbs held high... AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! If my dad could only see me now...