| I also discovered a different breed of airportrats in places like the Observation Deck at the legendary Theme building and Sandpiper Drive, plane spotters! Even though the deck had coin-operated binoculars, these rats brought their own and almost wore them as glasses to the point that I felt better with my own. When I felt brave enough, I'd take the shuttle to the West Imperial Terminal (aka "The Shack"), far south and west of the LAX entrance where smaller airlines like World and Laker Airlines (remember Sir Freddie Laker?!) or any other company that couldn't afford or find space at the major strip. The shack shuttle only ran once an hour and tough turkey turds if you missed the last one home. I was also beginning to collect pretty much any paper goods from my favorite airlines like magazines, buttons, baggage ID tags, flight schedules, ticket jackets and even stickers for old seating charts. Yup, my collection was getting bigger than my general LAX interest and it was getting sad. But not as sad as my brief spell with stewardess worshiping. |
| The basis of this worshiping phase was anchored by a short-lived TV series that was filmed at LAX called 'Flying High'. The show was about the loves and lives of three cute stews and I tried to watch this show as possible, though this would compete with bedtime and all. I loved the three leading actresses, Pat Klous, Kathryn Witt and, in her acting debut, Connie 'Please call me, Mz. John Tesh' Sellecca. Looking back on this and considering how my taste in entertainment has seriously evolved to another universe, I can't believe I was such a sucker for this level of late 70's TV melodrama/comedy/shtick. However, I'm still a proud old Gong Show/Match Game fan, so what the hell am I to be THAT judgmental on myself. I think the seed behind this was originally planted when my stepfather gave a copy of 'Coffee Tea or Me'...when I was 14! I didn't read it at the time, but I liked the illustrations a lot and managed to get a copy of the sequel, 'Around the World Diary' and eventually got all three books (Keep an eye on a possible page on THAT, too!). (Then puberty slapped me upside the head and I stopped reading those 'lifestyle' pieces in Playboy and focused on the pictures. But I'm getting WAY off subject here...) |
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| During the time of my visitation period, LAX was just getting started on their remodeling project that would include a second level and a gigantic international terminal that didn't look like a overcrowded shack. As they were peeling off old walls for new ones, I saw shades of the past, like parts of United Airlines before they adapted that Saul Bass designed "U" logo and a few obscure airlines I never heard of, so obscure that I don't remember them now. Didn't have a camera then, 'cos too many of those visits through x-ray can cause damage to the film AND I wasn't thinking about it at the time. Soon afterwards, airlines were beginning to buy each other out, proving the old American business commandment, "If you can't beat 'em, buy 'em"; Pan Am bought National and, much later, Delta bought Western and USAir got PSA. And if THAT weren't enough, the industry was crying like a spoiled baby for deregulation. When they got it, all hell broke loose and the romance was knocked out for me. It was a end of an era as well as for my LAX days. Think about all those airlines that begged for deregulation years ago and take a guess how many of them are still around. Sometimes the smell of irony can be stronger than jet fuel. Don-O |
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| HONORABLE MENTION: (ABOVE) From the guy who brought you Neil Hamburger (Greg Turkington) comes this unique little audio postcard for you airport rats out there with (hopefully) a sense of humor...or for a 'port rat in your life whom you want to confuse. In the late 90's there was a brief series of 'Sounds Of.." that were released by Planet Pimp Records. Presented by the "Golding Institute", these were actual field recordings of mundane places like a San Francisco adult books store and fast food restaurants. This one is from airport restrooms that included a toilet seat cover stuffed within its package. They're were future editions planned like sci-fi conventions, Hawaiian Car Rental Agencies and a best of blooper set, but none more hasn't been seen since. Guess the joke had ran out of steam. |
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