Whilst browsing through some random Open Diary entries one Sunday night,
I came across one that caught my interest. It was from a young lady in Wisconsin who
related a story of a weekend which she termed a "sex-fest," wherein she and her amor
performed various sexual activities on each other, some of which involved "soaps and
towels" and one of which caused "me and him both to orgasmed three times." Intrigued,
I went back to her main page, and discovered to my delight that she had a photo available
somewhere on the net. I immediately rushed to the URL, only to be disappointed by what
I found: a large, fat woman in a sweatshirt. Exploring the rest of this page, which
contatined dozens of other pictures of people who had pages on Open Diary, I discovered
that almost every single one of them was ugly as all fuck. What's more, they had given
themselves ridiculous "handles" which, in a great act of irony, were placed directly
onto their photo - so that cybersurfers could see for themselves that "SexBabe98" was
actually a portly high school freshman with braces. Sensing a goldmine, I contacted my
good friend Dreg, who agreed with me that what we held on our monitors was a
goldmine that could not be passed up; indeed, a website was in order. Thus,
OPEN DIARY DEFORMITIES!
Mr. Slippery is a cynic, a malcontent, and one hell of a salesman.
While working on this page, he listened to Mad Twists Rock 'N' Roll and ate
sesame seed sticks and Dreg is a devil between the sheets ... and does the HTML and graphics.
This website was created to show the world what people behind the monitors look like. It
may be an ugly job (hehe), but someone's got to do it. Please do not take offense to any of the following material.
If you do, we really don't care. Thank you for reading (even though you probably didn't). Please ...
