almost shivering
constant drizzle penetrating
I was taking my time with
that one
waiting for the essence
to escape and tape me
shut
would it hurt too little or
hurt too much
for me to take hold
for me to play smart
and play it out in hues of gold?
I was alone, in a sense,
innocence dripping from
my lips
streaming down in stains
of clips of dreams
of memories of gleaming
tears raining down past
my tits
and my thighs
and the juice that was stolen
before my eyes...
before my eyes could shut it out.
I was born into this, into this
abyss, planned
the perforation
and with it I tore, away,
begging for the rules of the game
that I set up long before
I came to play.
I know that the heart has its thoughts
the heart knows more than
the brain shows
the heart has stored its
flames and glows
in chambers untouched by the night
the darkness of the death of
sight
when a world has unravelled,
left the throne of light.
Time had come, time has come
inside its veins
inside the snake that makes its
claims, on this temple
this divine form
whence the guilt and the shame
of a moment has born
into it, mangled it,
divided and chided it
for remaining intact, ignoring
the white satin dress now
saturated black
and whispers cannot free
the soul that knows, the voice
of initiation screams and blows
with every madwomans
tears, every thrust of the gut
throughout these bitter years
tortured and blessed
both
untamed yet shamed
like the most
unbelievable ochre smile.
The most unbelievable rogue smile.