Mortimer Solves the Animal Cracker Heist
It had rained hard during the night so there was no need to get up early this June morning. The family slept late, till about 6:00 AM, and Mortimer awoke to the delicious aroma of eggs and bacon being fried: Grandma was cooking breakfast.
Over breakfast, the family was discussing how to spend the next day or two, knowing that it would be a few days before they could get back into the fields. Mortimer was trying to follow the conversation and, at the same time, listen to the radio, playing music in the background. Most of the children wanted to just stay home and play games - Monopoly and such. Grandma wanted to go to Salina to do some shopping for material to make clothes.
Now, the radio station, WDOG, Dodge City, was giving the news and weather report. The big story of the day was a robbery - a rare occurrence in Dodge City. Thieves had broken in to the Wilson Company warehouse during the night and had stolen three huge crates of the famous Animal Crackers made by Wilson. There was a reward being offered of $100 for the return of the crates. Mortimer listened, mostly to the weather report, which was not good, and did not think any more about the robbery.
The family finished making their plans for the day: The children would stay at home with Grandpa and play games. Grandma and Uncle Loren would go to Salina for shopping and probably stay over night. Mortimer could come along if he wanted - which he did. He always enjoyed riding in the back of Grandma's pickup.
The sky was overcast, and they got a late start. By noon they had made it past Great Bend, and to within a few miles of Salina in a light drizzle. They were hungry, and decided to stop at the Honk and Holler restaurant, run by one of the Koontz's shirt-tail relatives. As they parked and got out of the pickup, Mortimer noticed two men getting into a truck on the far side of the parking lot. The truck bed had wooden sides, but was open at the back. As the truck was leaving, it turned so that Mortimer could see in the back. There were a lot of boxes and packages in the back of the truck, and three large crates. On one of the crates was printed:
Whoa! Mortimer thought. That's what was on the news this morning! Those guys are crooks!
Before he even realized what he was doing, Mortimer ran to truck and jumped into the back just as it turned onto the main road - highway 156 going north toward Salina. Through the window in the back of the truck's cab, Mortimer could see both of the men in the front, and they could see him.
As the truck picked up speed, the driver tried to make Mortimer fall out by jerking the truck back and forth across the road. This caused the packages and boxes to be thrown all over the place, and one of the crates fell over, missing Mortimer by inches. With his teeth, Mortimer held on to a rope that was tied around one of the side supports. Mortimer saw that many of the packages were paper products, paper towels, bathroom tissue, Kleenex, and there were a few boxes of various colors of dye.
Finally, the driver gave up trying to eject Mortimer. A few cars were coming from the opposite direction, but they paid no attention to the truck. Mortimer was trying to figure out what to do, when he saw a Kansas state highway patrol car coming. That gave him an idea.
Mortimer used his snout to nudge several boxes of Kleenex and bathroom tissue out the back of the speeding truck. Just as the patrol car passed, a huge bale of bathroom tissue hit the pavement, splitting wide open. 150 rolls of bathroom tissue exploded all over the road, going in all directions. Several rolls went into the ditches on both side of the road. Some of the rolls unwound, leaving long streamers of bathroom tissue for a quarter of a mile.
The officer, who would normally have never even noticed the truck, glanced in his rearview mirror just in time to see the most blatant case of littering he had ever witnessed. The patrol car immediately turned around and began to follow the truck with its red lights flashing and its siren going full blast. As the patrol car charged through the bathroom tissue mess, some of the streamers snagged on the bumper and antennas of the patrol car and some of the tissue just stuck because of the wet drizzle.
The truck sped up, trying to get away, but was no match for the patrol car. At 85 miles an hour the patrol car pulled in front of the truck and slowed down forcing the truck to slow down and finally stop. The two men in the truck jumped out and started running for an open field, but Mortimer was too fast for them. He ran past them and turned around facing them.
Mortimer's features seemed to change palpably: his claws, his teeth and fangs became those of a wolf; his body seemed to grow larger; his hair stood up, becoming bushier. Mortimer transmitted to the men, a wave of primal menace. His growl was deep and vicious. The men shuddered and turned back. They fled in the direction of relative safety, toward the officer, who was now standing at the side of the road with his weapon drawn. They were busted. Mortimer guarded the men, growling appropriately, while the officer handcuffed them to the back of the patrol car.
The officer had radioed ahead during the chase and had asked the Salina police to run a routine check on the truck's license number. The answer came back immediately: Vehicle reported stolen yesterday in Ness City and was probably also carrying stolen goods. He had requested backup.
Now, police and patrol cars were arriving on the scene, and other cars were stopping to see what all the commotion was. Arriving along with some of the other cars was Grandma's pickup.
Grandma and Uncle Loren helped the police sort out what had happened. The police could not believe Mortimer's on the spot evaluation of the circumstances and the courageous and clever action he took. By this time, a reporter from the Salina Herald had arrived. Mortimer was photographed, first with the two crooks and the officer, then, standing in the back of the truck with the three crates of animal crackers.
Now, some of the policemen were pointing and laughing at the badly TPed patrol car. The reporter also thought it was funny, but this did not set well with the officer, who was angry about his patrol car being TPed. Finally, the officer reluctantly let the reporter take pictures.
The final outcome of this episode was that the capture of the robbers was written up in every newspaper in western Kansas. Mortimer was written up as a hero and given many kudos. There were accompanying photos of Mortimer, the officer, the robbers, and especially the TPed patrol car. The thieves were tried and put behind bars for a long time. The remaining paper products and dye, never claimed by anyone, were given to the Koontz family in appreciation. The Wilson Company was happy to get their animal crackers back, and gave the reward money to the Koontz children.
The story of how Mortimer foiled the robbers became a Koontz family legend. With each retelling, Mortimer became more heroic, the patrol car, more heavily laden with TP, and the robbers, more dangerous.