I CAN'T CHOOSE

I would say
Hold yourself against the stone wall
I'll go inside as soon as you can't stand
Just fight the problems others cause
Remember the heavy memories but


I can't ask you to be strong
Can't ask you to wait
Cuz that just takes your mind
to the shared grave


And I can't ask you to see
across blood marks in your macula
Cuz I'm so angry with myself
It's all my fault everybody heard my opinion
that day


I wanted to take him home with you
And I killed him
I wanted you to have him
And I made him disappear


That morning I should not have woken up
I should have never taken that shower
I was ready for something
and I felt it
But I didn't know
why


He loved me
But I killed him
He loved me
And I killed him


I took him home
Just to wait
I was waiting for something
I didn't even know
why


He loved
But I made him wait
He loved me
And he waited until
the day he died


So I can't ask you to do anything
I chose for him and I was wrong
I played to be god
And he lost for the first time in his life
So I can't choose for you
I can't carry any more guilt
And I know I won't be fill
Cuz it's never enough for someone you loved.