Jayson's A-Z of American Studies
Howdy partners, and welcome yourselves to my American Studies site. Yee-ha. I'm Jayson, your guide to all things Yankee. Let's get straight on with it.
A is for American Studies, y'all. It's, like, what this page is about, dude.
B is for baseball. All you English guys go on about your soccer, but this is the bomb, like, dude. Plus, no-one like digs the rules, so no-one knows who wins. Radical.
C is for Chips and dips, our gnarly traditional Thanksgiving meal, like, dude.
D is for Dig. You guys do not know what this word means, you dig?
E is for Engerland. My favourite place in the world, so cool and tucked away down there. Gol!
F is for Flippin' the bird. And Foreskin, which most of us don't have.
G is for Gnarly. This word is mondo to the max, dude. And Garth Elgar.
H is for Hispanic. There's just, like, so many of them, and they don't all look like AC Slater. It's also for Hamburger Joint, where 96% of all us Yanks hang out or work.
I is for Indians. We don't talk about that.
J is for Jelly. You guys call it jam, but I guess that means y'all are fucked up. Bitch.
K is for Kickin'. Like, I'm kickin', you know what I mean? Dude. (The editor apologises for a lack of a joke here.)
L is for Liverpool, my favourite place in China.
M is for Mondo to the Max. What a gnarly word dude.
N is for New York Yankees. They're like Manchester United, but with less wankers.
O is for Oreos. The breakfast treat of the nation.
P is for Partay. As in .... on, Wayne!
Q is for Queens. It's near Brooklyn, and if you're white, duck.
R is for Real. As in keeping it.
S is for Slater. And Screech. And Sneakers. And South Central. S is the most American letter in the world. Since fuckin' A.
T is for Terry Phelan, for no fucking reason. But he did look like the singer from the Fine Young Cannibals.
U is for UCLA, the most American uni ever made. You can actually study Pop Tarts, and The Secret World of Alex Mack here.
V is for Venezuelia, the 51st state of the USA. (They wish.)
W is for Whaaaaaaaaassssssssssssuuuuuuuuuuuup! Just watching the game, drinking a Bud. True.
X is for Xenophobia. Or fear of Mexicans taking our jobs.
Y is for Yo. As in dude.
Z is for Zac Morris, the man to replace Bill Clinton.
Like, dudes, I totally hope that all this bodacious learning has helped you with your American Dreams. I'll be back later, once I've tuned up my hotrod, and eaten a bowl of corn.
Return to the good old British lands