Well, it's taken me a while to update the pictures on this site, but I've done loads this time, and found a new and simple way to avoid getting little blue flecks on your faces, so we're cooking on gas now baby.

Our first subject in this horrible tale of photographic nightmares is one Alex Bell. Alex, who hales from Middlesbrough, was recently invited to take part in a Granada Men and Motors photo shoot.

This picture was lovingly taken on his 20^th birthday. I'm pretty confident that Alex doesn't remember much about it.

Since then, Alex has formed a very strong bond with young Shrew, as the two went on holiday together in the summer of 2001.

The two were always very careful to make sure that the odd mincer or two lurked in the background of their shots. Alex became such a good friend to Shrew that he insisted on pointing out special moments to him, even when Shrew was involved in them himself. Unfortunately, due to legal reasons, I cannot reveal what happens underneath this censor blob, as I have been threatened with death. I am a weak man.

The two finally consummated their love in the middle of a packed night club. However, the paparazzi couldn't complete the evidence, and some parts of one of the two were hidden from camera. Still, Shrew looked like he enjoyed himself.

All this time though, unknown to Alex, Shrew was involved with someone else. Indeed, that very same night, this photograph was uncovered.

It appeared as if Tom had been pursuing Shrew for some time as this historical evidence shows. Watch how Tom dances for an unimpressed Shrew.

It is clear to see that Shrew wasn't all that interested at this point. Yet rumours lead us to believe that he was merely trying to avert attention from the two. A photograph was uncovered much later, that suggested that the two Toms had had a heavy night together.

Indeed, it was suggested that no-one has ever looked as drunk as Tom did in this shot. But was alcohol entirely to blame?

Elsewhere, there were others outside of this tragic love triangle that never was a love triangle, cos we ain't botty boys, despite what the photos suggest, we're not, honestly.

Look at the fear in Vicky Hinchcliffe's eyes as Brian Feltham approaches her. She was saved from a felching by Tom O'Brien, and later Brian tried to conceal his identity from the on-looking press.

Shocking images, I'm sure you'll agree. Equally shocking was the news that Neil had full-filled a life long dream by becoming World Wrestling Federation Champion.

For a man who shies away from physical activity, this really was a remarkable achievement for the boy with a 70s persona gimmick. Other people assuming alternative personas include Helen Alexander.

Rumour has it that she believed that she was Roy from the Vengaboys, but no-one the heart to tell her otherwise.

None of this was as shocking as the fate that befell Andy Horton. Andy became so deluded, that he believed himself to be Mr. Potato Head.

The hours of counselling that this young man went through were astronomical.

Finally, I should let you know, that Helen, as featured above, was successful in her siamese twin operation, and her and Suzy now enjoy completely normal, and separate lives. This is the last picture of the two 'conjoined' and is no doubt a special moment for them.

This has been a terrifying insight into some of the scary lives of Manchester University students. More revelations will follow. For now, return to the menu.