The entire nation was feeling a bit down after England only managed a draw with Sweden in their opening fixture of the World Cup. But for some reason, we had some blind optimism of gaining at least a similar result against Argentina. Shrew, possibly whilst drunk, possibly through believing that we wouldn't get anything, decided to wager something that he cared very much about.

His chest hair.

As the photographs categorically prove, Shrew is one hairy-chested beast. He took it upon himself to accept the challenge that should England be victorious in Sapporo against the Argentinians, he would shave the St. George's Cross into his chest hair. David Beckham's 44^th minute penalty, and the heroics of that England side meant that the ultimate sign of national pride would become a part of Shrew. Kind of.

You see, our hero made a true English gesture. But got it ever so slightly wrong. In his attempt to shave the St.George's Cross onto his chest, he inadvertently slipped and went a bit lop-sided, more producing a Danish or Swedish cross.

We still take our hats off to Shrew, who was later a bit too embarrassed to keep the symbol, and instead, made it a bit worse, and slightly scary.

Here, Shrew points proudly (or regretfully) at the chest hair that he removed. The following morning, the stubble had set in, and caused much itching. Yet none of this was as bad as the terrible act committed by one Brian Feltham.

Ginger-haired Brian decided he fancied a Des Lynam style moustache. Yet, due to his sometimes scary need to shave eight times an hour, the only way he could manage this was to borrow Shrew's cast-offs. When he later removed the hair, he found that a few stray strands had found their way into his mouth. Mmm, tasty.

And so for now, this chapter is closed. Reports that Shrew will perform self-castration should England get to the Quarter-finals are yet to be confirmed.

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