The Fist Newsletter
FIST are:
ObstaB, Xander, Neeraj, Jay-C and $hrew
SHOCK FIST NEWS.
So, FIST FANS, what's new in the world of Fist???
Fist were booked ahead of the Backstreet Boys, N*Sync and BB Mak to play an eight hour extravaganza at Madison Square Garden, in New York, New York. Disaster struck for the band when $hrew decided that he no longer wanted to be associated with FIST, as he had 'gone right off shitty music and that.' Without the one who could do stuff, the band were stuck for an extra mimer, and the Cockney wonder's dancing prowess was sure to be missed. The band approached Felch, a rich landowner who had been desperately trying to get into the music business, to act as cover for one show. Felch agreed, but upstaged and embarrased the band, when midway through their Christmas No. 1, 'I Can't See My Arse,' the new boy dropped his pants to show his arse, as the dance routine dictated, but then turned round to show the 120,000 crowd his 16 inch penis. Ashamed, dejected, and with nowhere to go, the band issued the following statement on January 3rd, 2001:
'ObstaB, Xander, Neeraj and Jay-C, the four remaining full-time members of FIST are hereby stating that on Sunday January 14th, at the venue of Furness Studios, the band will perform together for the final time. This small concert will take place in front of 20 dedicated fans, where three songs will be played. Following the last note of their final song, the band will cease to exist, and will never perform again, at least not until we need some more cash anyway.'
The music world was rocked.
'It's a shame that FIST are calling it a day, but at least their departure will open the way for new bands like Death PC, MopBuck, and Erin Hooper.' - Jo Whiley.
'To be honest, I don't really know what you're talking about, and I'm not sure you should be in my bed stroking my wife's thigh' - David Beckham.
'Ah, for f@#ks sake man, I dig those f@#king f@#ks, they're f@#king wicked man.' - Eminem
'I'm really vexed now.' Stuart, the gay one off Shipwrecked, and close personal friend of Jay-C.
At the FurnessDome, the twenty fans turned up, as did Davinia McCall, who hosted the live concert on Channel 4. ObstaB thanked evryone who had supported the band, and casually mentioned that their Greatest Hits album happened to be coming out the following day. The band performed two new songs in 'Noshing Out,' and 'Straw-arse.' They then ended with their most famous hit 'D'ya Wanna Get Fisted.' The lights went off, girls cried, and the band left in the mist to seek their fortunes elsewhere.
This website is committed to its focus on popular music, and here at ObstaB's world, we have negotiated another sponsorship deal with a band. Stay tuned to this site in the next few weeks for information on the new Bad Boys of HipHop.
Fortunately, the former members of FIST all have access to e-mail. They may be tempted into another one off performance, but only if enough support is received. Send your e-mails to [email protected] with your messages for the band members. Remember, I like feedback. And none of youse give it to me. Well, those who live with me do. But others don't. Get involved. I'll pay you. (Legal note - ObstaB won't give you anything. He just likes to lie.)
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